HEY, KIDS! I suspect the ratings for the Oscars will be down this year, both because this seems to be the trend for awards shows and because none of the Best Picture nominees were blockbusters that seized the public imagination.

Nevertheless, I note that both Defamer and Prof. Ann Althouse will be live-blogging the Oscars, should you want the MST3K version of the event.

Prof. Althouse was good enough to provide the link to The Unofficial 2005 Oscars Drinking Game, which should at least provide an excuse as to why you don't remember any of the show by next week.

[UPDATE: MATT DRUDGE has a heads up on a New York Times story about a Robin Williams song nixed by the Oscars' producers.]

[2ND UPDATE: You can tide yourself over until Oscar-time by catching up on the Razzies, at which President Bush, Britney Spears, Halle Berry and Donald Rumsfeld were all "winners."]

Finally, while I sound a bit down on the Oscars, that won't stop me from having my own take up early Monday morning -- after all, the gold men are made in the Windy City! Plus, I'll have a full compliment of the regular trivia you've come to expect.

THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE:

FRIDAY TIME-WASTER: "Paperback Believer" is a mash-up of monster guitar licks from the Fabs and the Pre-fabs, available as an MP3 download or as a glorious QuickTime video! You really don't want to miss John and Paul getting background vocals from Davey and Micky. Extra trivia: If you haven't noticed, the original background vocals in "Paperback Writer" are "Frere Jacques."

YO LA TENGO is interviewed by Blog Up -- a Canadian blog -- in English and French.

LITTLE-KNOWN SONG Titles That Answer Questions Posed in Better-Known Songs are online at McSweeney's. Actually, there are answer songs, e.g., The Temptations' "My Girl was an "answer" to Mary Wells' "My Guy."

SASQUATCH! FESTIVAL line-up is announced, for all you Washington staters.

BRAD AND JEN UPDATE: The estranged couple enjoyed a romantic meal together o­n Valentine's Day.

CULT OF THE iPod: MP3 players may revive the market for audio books. ALSO: Apple reconfigures its product line with eight price points.

CLASH OF THE CULTS: TiVo stock prices soared o­n speculation that Apple might buy TiVo.

AN EXPERIMENTAL TOOTHPASTE repairs small cavities.

ROGEREBERT.COM gives up "The Unwritten Rules of Oscar" for those of you in Oscar pools. You can also check out predictions at Gold Derby. FameTracker has an irreverent look at Oscar odds; InTrade is more serious.

CHRIS ROCK plans to joke about President Bush, Nicole Kidman, Michael Moore and The Passion of the Christ during his Oscar stand-ups. But o­ne comedian who caught Chris’ pre-Oscar warm-up at the Comedy Store back in January told L.A. Weekly columnist Nikke Finke, “He’s going to need to work a lot harder. The act was not funny.” ALSO: Slate calls Rock "The William F-ing Buckley of stand-up."

BOXERS OR BRIEFS? The answer seems to be "thongs," if you want to protest the Bush Administration. Rock the Vote's latest efforts were dismissed by a White House spokesman, "We don't comment o­n undergarments."

RUSSELL CROWE knows his classic punk bands. Too bad none of it rubbed off.

ELVIS COSTELLO is bringing out a double-disc edition of King of America, with 21 bonus tracks, including a cover of Richard Thompson's "End of the Rainbow."

ANTHONY AND THE JOHNSONS are getting good buzz at L.A. Weekly.

THE DAVE MATTHEWS BAND is being sued over that human waste dumping in Chicago.

BLOGGERS AND RAPPERS: An article at Slate explores the parallels; Dan Drezner wants his doctorate.

BLOGGERS are also getting the news out of Nepal after the Royal Takeover and King Gyandendra censored the media.

MAN BITES DOG: Blind man, actually. No, really.

CHARM OFFENSIVE: fishbowl DC notes the ubiquity of the phrase in media coverage of President Bush's European Adventure.

WILL SMITH claims hottie Eva Mendez was cast as his love interest in Hitch because the studio was nervous about casting a black or white woman in the role.

PARIS HILTON'S HACKED SIDEKICK contains many NSFW photos and some very nasty rumors started by Lindsay Lohan.

THE WALL STREET JOURNAL is o­ne of the few sites that has been profitable selling its content by subscription. But not to younger folks, which may not bode well for the future.

HOLD o­n! HAVE THE JAYHAWKS REALLY BROKEN UP? More Cowbell has a little scoop suggesting the answer is o­nly "maybe."

MOBY pens a tune for Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson to sing.

PETE DOHERTY UPDATE: After getting judicial permission to do a gig, he gets into a fight with his band's guitarist.

BOB DYLAN: "I wouldn't even think about playing music if I was born in these times... I'd probably turn to something like mathematics. That would interest me. Architecture would interest me. Something like that." Which would explain the "love minus zero" equation...

THE ANTI-CRISTO: In response to "The Gates" Cristo has installed in New York's Central Park, Geoff Hargadon installed "The Somerville Gates." The web site was an immediate hit.

CATS AND DOGS: A Hawaiian lawmaker is proposing a bill that would ban the slaughter of dogs and cats for food. Some are protesting.

SCREENWRITER CHARLIE KAUFMAN finally wins a Writer's Guild Award for Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Best Adapted Screenplay went to Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor for Sideways.

LEFTIES are the future, according to Wired.

CULT OF THE iPod is criticized by columnist and blogger Andrew Sullivan.

WHAT'S o­n GEORGE W. BUSH'S iPod? That question and a survey of the Bush family's knowledge of pop culture (or lack thereof) is o­nline at The Contra Costa Times.

EDUCATION BLOGGING: The third edition of Carnival of Education is now o­nline.

SWEDEN is discovering the conflict between their open borders and their lavish welfare state.

DEMOCRACY IN LEBANON? Walid Jumblatt, head of Lebanon's Progressive Socialist Party, once expressed regret that U.S. Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz was not killed in a missile attack during a visit to Baghdad and, until recently, accommodated Syria's occupation. Now he's leading an intifada to oust Syria. "It's strange for me to say it, but this process of change has started because of the American invasion of Iraq," explains Jumblatt. "I was cynical about Iraq. But when I saw the Iraqi people voting three weeks ago, 8 million of them, it was the start of a new Arab world." Jumblatt says this spark of democratic revolt is spreading. "The Syrian people, the Egyptian people, all say that something is changing. The Berlin Wall has fallen. We can see it." Coincidentally, Der Spiegel makes a similar analogy.

DEMOCRACY IN CICERO? The Chicago suburb witnessed a stunner Tuesday night as underdog Larry Dominick declared victory in a close race against Town President Ramiro Gonzalez, the hand-picked successor to imprisoned Betty Loren-Maltese. I'm o­nly half-joking here: such an election is, relatively speaking, a big deal in the infamously corrupt town. The Sun-Times article notes that "Cicero's election, as usual, drew a wide swath of poll watchers to make sure everything was o­n the up and up, including a contingent of federal monitors."

CHANGES IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY are surveyed by the Seattle Weekly.

NEKO CASE is interviewed about her current and upcoming discs in The State.

KORN founder and guitarist quits after finding God.

JACKO'S JURY is selected. There are no African-Americans, which is an issue MJ could raise o­n appeal, should he be convicted. I wonder if the State of California would argue that Jacko is really not black anymore.

CBS NEWS MEMO SCANDAL: The network has hired a gumshoe to trace the source of the apparently bogus memos regarding President Busy's Texas Air National Guard service.

FAT AND SIN: Prof. Ann Althouse, guest-blogging at GlennReynolds.com, weighs the connection.

HUNTER S. THOMPSON VS.PARIS HILTON: fishbowl LA proposes a thought experiment. ALSO: Thompson wanted to have his ashes shot out of a cannon.

HOW RICH YOU ARE at 50 may depend o­n how tall you were as an infant.

HILARY SWANK is campaigning hard for an Oscar. PLUS: Swank, Charlize Theron and others may want to be paid for wearing those fancy gowns and pieces of jewelry to awards shows. How long until the Oscars looks like a NASCAR rally?

OWEN WILSON likes 'em young.

RUSSELL SIMMONS: The Def Jam mogul is under fire from the Anti-Defamation League for condemning anti-Semitism, while, the group claims, acting as an apologist for Nation of Islam leader the Reverend Louis Farrakhan.

MAOISTS review video games and don't like much of what they see.

THE UNITED NATIONS is treating refugees from North Korea badly.

A REUNION OF JAYHAWKS IS NOT A JAYHAWKS REUNION: Mark Olson and Gary Louris aare playing some gigs together (as noted here last week), but Louris says the Jayhawks are dead.

ROCK AND ROLL MYTHS are debunked over at The Observer.

OZZY OSBOURNE is being sued by people who bought "remastered" CDs in which Ozzy replaced the bass and drum tracks, perhaps to avoid paying royalties to his former bandmates.

PETE DOHERTY UPDATE: Spiked takes a look at why the press is giving so much coverage to his drug habit, but stayed away from similar stories about other rockers.

REVENGE OF THE SITH: How long until Lucasfilm lawyers manage to shut down this spoiler-filled plot summary and photo gallery?

GONZO MEMORIES: Hunter S. Thompson is remembered by collaborator and friend Ralph Steadman, novelists Tom Wolfe and Roger L. Simon, rock critic turned MTV hack Kurt Loder and columnist Christopher Hitchens. Garry Trudeau featured a Thompson quote and a 3-D animated dancing Duke at the Doonesbury site. Thompson's last piece featured a round of golf with Bill Murray, who was cinematically connected with Thompson as well as golf. But it appears we have not heard the last from Thompson yet.

TOM CRUISE has put up a Scientology tent o­n the set of Spielberg's War of the Worlds. Maybe he thinks the movie is a prequel to Battlefield Earth?

FORGET ROACH MOTELS: Now cockroaches can die looking for love in all the wrong places.

THE CSI EFFECT o­n juries and o­n entry into the field of forensic science was discussed at a major science conference in Washington DC.

BIOPOLITICS: Are cochlear implants a medical miracle or a cultural threat to the Deaf community?

A 9/11 LEVEL TERROR ATTACK WITHIN SEVEN YEARS? A statistical study suggests it, but we should be wary of predictions based purely o­n statistics.

TiVo DEATH CULT: Although Tuesday's Red Eye in Chicago (the fluffy tabloid version of the Chicago Tribune for Gen-Xers) was stilll leading with stories about "Cult TiVo," a TiVo deathwatch is underway at Engadget, but Slashdot considers the alternatives.

ACCUSED KOURNIKOVA STALKER was arrested after turning up naked at the wrong house o­n a neighbor's pool patio and yelling, "Anna! Save me!"

PIXIEDISCS is selling a limited run of the Pixies 12 final shows of 2004.

SLASH had his trademark top hat stolen at the Grammys.

ON THE PITCHFORK: Following in the wake of last year's well-received Ramones documentary, We Jam Econo: The Story of the Minutemen premieres o­n the 25th.

BRITNEY NOT THE BRIGHTEST BULB IN THE BOX: Feuding with US Weekly, she calls publisher Jann Wenner a "big old fat man," apparently unaware (though the interviewer is spinning otherwise) that Wenner also publishes Rolling Stone. Wenner declined to be interviewed but said in a statement, "My hope is that Kevin Federline will look as good at my age." No doubt. ALSO: How bad is it when Cher calls you a ho?

VIDEO GAME COMPANIES may be the next big acquisition targets, according to Viacom CEO Sumner Redstone, who recently increased his interest in Midway Games: "Any [media] company that doesn't recognize that games by companies like Midway are competing with them for both audience and advertising has its head in the sand."

UNITED NATIONS SCANDALS have moved American public opinion against the previously popular organization.

I'M BAAAACK from Dallas, where I was visiting with Shahin and Terrie Khoshbin -- two of my best friends from law school, or anywhere. I was helping set up and fill Shahin's shiny new iPod (U2 special edition, natch). I want to thank our own Sylvia Hauser for answering a few of my iPod questions in advance, as I don't own an iPod myself... yet. It's with that background that we start the week with:

CULT OF THE iPod: The Des Moines Register profiles pod people and notes that a local bar has launched PodJay Mondays, where pod patrons program a playlist with 15 minutes or so of songs from their music catalog, then hand their players over to bartender Clint Curtis who treats the entire room to their musical tastes. Wikipod has launched an open source iPod encylcopedia. Podcast Bunker offers 30 second previews of popular podcasts.

BACK OFF THE SADDLE: Aerosmith lead singer Steven Tyler and his wife of 17 years, Teresa, are separating.

LISTEN TO A TRUCKLOAD OF BANDS through downloads and streams linked through the SXSW site. ALSO, Largehearted Boy has some scoop o­n the Guided by Voices Hoot Night lineup at Emo's o­n March 17th during SXSW. Rumor has it Robert Pollard will atend this year.

JACKO JUSTICE: Seventy-eight percent of the jury pool in the Michael Jackson trial are parents, a fact that could influence how they view charges that the pop star molested a teenage boy, as well as the accuser's credibility. Legal experts said the large number of parents could cut either way for the singer: Parents with young children might be especially upset by the allegations, but they may also believe, based o­n their own experiences, that children can be dishonest.

PAUL WESTERBERG is interviewed o­n recent events and the likelihood of a Replacements reunion by the L.A. Weekly.

TUESDAY TIME-WASTER: The Baby Name Wizard is nifty, even if you're not expecting. Type in a name to chart its popularity over the years.

TECH NEWS YOU CAN USE: Cellphone jammers — illegal gizmos that interfere with signals and cut off reception — are selling like hotcakes o­n the streets of New York.

KYRGYZSTAN may be another spot where a democracy movement could arise.

NEW YORK TIMES EXECUTIVE EDITOR Bill Keller sees “blogging,” or o­nline writing that blurs news and commentary, as a mixed blessing. No doubt many bloggers have the same view of The New York Times.

BLOGS AND JOURNALISM: David Corn of The Nation takes a second look at the exposure of conservative reporter Jeff Gannon/Guckert by liberal blogs and is troubled by what he sees.

JERRY BROWN, former Governor and presidential candidate and current Mayor of Oakland, has started a blog.

LIFE o­n MARS: NASA is denying that its scientists have found strong evidence that life may exist o­n Mars, a story reported by space.com and noted here last week.

HUNTER S. THOMPSON, the dean of "gonzo journalism," died Sunday in his Colorado home of an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound at 67. The death of the man responsible for books including Hell's Angels and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was marked by former employers such as Rolling Stone and the San Francisco Chronicle, as well as by friends in Colorado. Mike Cleverly, a neighbor and longtime friend who spent Friday night watching a basketball game o­n TV with Thompson, said "He's the last person in the world I would have expected to kill himself. I would have been less surprised if he had shot me."

OTHER OBITS: John Raitt, who livened musicals such as Carousel and The Pajama Game died Sunday of complications from pneumonia at 88. And yes, he was Bonnie Raitt's dad. Sandra Dee, of Gidget and A Summer Place died Sunday at 62.

NOT SANDRA DEE: Lindsay Lohan may be digitally altered to make her more family-friendly for Herbie: Fully Loaded. Of course, behind most of the current crop of pop tarts you will find a creepy dad. SEMI-RELATED: The socialite named after a French hotel has had the contents of her T-Mobile Sidekick posted all over the internet.

SEXUALLY HARRASSED BY A GORILLA: Two women fired from their jobs caring for Koko, the gorilla who "talks" with sign language, have sued their ex-employer for allegedly ordering them to show the animal their breasts. Their lawsuit alleges: "Through sign language, as interpreted by [Gorilla Foundation head Francine] Patterson, Koko 'demanded' plaintiffs remove their clothing and show Koko their breasts... o­n o­ne such occasion, Patterson said, 'Koko, you see my nipples all the time. You are probably bored with my nipples. You need to see new nipples. I will turn my back so Kendra can show you her nipples'."

THE UNITED NATIONS High Commissioner for Refugees was forced to resign after an investigation found him guilty of a “pattern of sexual harassment.”

THEO VAN GOGH TERROR MURDER: I've previously noted the case of the murdered Norwegian filmmaker and the impact it has had o­n the Netherlands. The Norwegian military now appears to believe that the murder of Van Gogh was a terrorist attack implemented by an al-Qaida inspired radical Islamist group within the framework of global jihad, and not an act of religious violence by a lone fanatic. The climate in the Netherlands now appears to be so bad that Members of Parliament threatened by Islamic extremists have been living in prison cells as a security precaution.

PETE DOHERTY UPDATE: A judge gave the troubled singer permission to stay out late for a concert, probably not unlike the parents of some of the kids who will attend the show. ALSO: The New York Times finds Doherty's story fit to print.

THEY WANT THEIR FUSE TV: The two-year old rival to MTV has the highest concentration of 12- to 34-year-old viewers of any channel.

"PARTY HARDY" OR "PARTY HEARTY:" Professor Ann Althouse tackles the question after reading an article about sororites at Harvard.