THE DECEMBERISTS were on this weekend's edition of Austin City Limits.  Laura Veirs joined them for "Yankee Bayonet."  There's another clip and an interview in glorious Quicktime at the ACL site.

SPOON frontman Britt Daniel spins some songs for Harp magazine.  The band stopped by The Current for a chat and mini-set you can stream now via MPR.

THE CMJ MUSIC MARATHON, which officially begins on Tuesday and runs through Saturday, has once again attracted 1,000 buzz-seeking bands to play at more than 50 locations in Manhattan, Brooklyn and Hoboken, NJ.  Insound has a free digital sampler of 15 of them, including Jesu, Health, British Sea Power, Georgie James, Hallelujah the Hills and younger-than-Smoosh rockers Tiny Masters of Today.  Or you can stream 237 songs from CMJ artists via iMeem.

RADIOHEAD = GREEDHEADS?  The sentiment among many fans seems to have gone from admiration for the group's willingness to let the consumer decide how much to pay for the new album to anger over the low quality of the downloads - and dismay over the band's manager's statement that the you-choose-the-price downloads were just a promotional tool for the release of the physical CD.

BEIRUT isn't exactly a "breaking band," but Rolling Stone thinks so, so they have some interview and performance video from Zach Condon.

PAUL SIMON turned 66 over the weekend.  To celebrate, here's a clip of Stevie Wonder and the Dixie Hummingbirds joining Simon on "Loves Me Like A Rock" at the concert earlier this year honoring Simon's selection as the first recipient of The Library of Congress Gershwin Prize for Popular Song.  Wonder goofs it up, but recovers nicely.

SUFJAN STEVENS:  A profile in this month's Smithsonian magazine suggests that his "old" sound and intense, starkly personal lyrics make more sense when you know his history.  Stevens plans to speak at NYC's PENultimate Lit event Nov. 28, on the topic, "What Makes Writing Matter in the 21st Century?" The Franciscan Friars, who trace their lineage back to Francis of Assisi, chose Stevens' "All the Trees of the Field Will Clap Their Hands" as October's "theme for Franciscanized World Vocation."

INTERNET RADIO:  Tim Westergren, founder of Pandora -- a free service suggests artists and songs users might enjoy, based on preferences they submit -- tells The NJ Star-Ledger that he's "cautiously optimistic" Internet radio will survive a negotiation of new royalty rates.

STEVE EARLE performed a concert for World Café Live in Philadelphia on Friday.  You can stream the whole gig on demand via NPR.

PETE DOHERTY interviews SIR PAUL McCARTNEY for the Sunday London Observer.

ORLANDO BLOOM was involved in a car wreck early Friday morning.  According to LAPD sources, speed was not a factor in the accident, nor were alcohol or drugs.  However, Bloom was reportedly acting strangely shortly before the crash, and tried to walk away from the scene, leaving two women -- one injured and bleeding -- in the smashed-up car.  The paparazzi actually talked him into returning to the scene.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE:  Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married? took the top slot with a surprisingly strong 21.5 million -- at least surprising to Hollywood, which still hasn't figured out that Black churchgoers don't turn up in their consumer surveys, but do turn out for Tyler Perry, regardless of bad reviews. The Game Plan dropped to second, earning 11.5 million, a drop of only 31% from last weekend.  George Clooney's turn as Michael Clayton finishes third with 11 million, below analysts' predictions and tracking survey results.  Clooney's domestic popularity isn't what the media or Hollywood thinks it is; he opens big in ensemble movies, otherwise, not so much.  We Own The Night opened in fourth place, just a few thousand shy of Clooney.  The Heartbreak Kid dropped 47% from second place to round out the Top Five with 7.4 mil.  Elizabeth: The Golden Age, took in more than the original did over any of its weekends at 6.2 mil, but will probably fail to reach the 30 mil that the original grossed.  The Kingdom skidded from third to seventh, earning a mere 4.6 million, on a painful 53% drop.  Across The Universe made it to eighth place from twelfth as it expanded to wide release, earning 4 mil.  Ninth goes to Resident Evil: Extinction, which made 2.7 and looks to end up with about the same total as its predecessor.  The Seeker rounded out the Top Ten with 2.1 mil.

JESSICA SIMPSON is rumored to have gotten a hefty three-million-dollar paycheck for new Proactiv infomercials that will air close to Christmas.

O.J. SIMPSON:  A lawyer said one of the co-defendants in the O.J. Simpson armed robbery case has agreed to plead guilty to a reduced charge and testify against Simpson and four others.

THE McCARTNEYS:  Sir Paul and Heather Mills are said to be close to reaching an agreement over a divorce deal, claimed to be worth as much as £60 million, following a secret meeting at the High Court in London.

ANNA NICOLE SMITH IS STILL DEAD, but agents from the California Department of Justice served two of her doctors search warrants Friday and raided six different locations, including the physicians' offices and residences.  State Attorney General Jerry Brown said that detectives had "serious evidence" in the case, but no arrests have been made.

BRITNEY SPEARS:  I don't think this one is her fault -- A federal prison inmate alleges that the pop tart forced him at gunpoint to commit identity theft, to pay for her abortions, breast implants, cocaine and alcohol.

LINDSAY LOHAN is broke after squandering a staggering seven million dollars on her wild partying, according to the uber-reliable News of the World.

MADONNA:  The day after news leaked that Madge was close to leaving Warner Bros. Records and hitting the road with concert promoter Live Nation, Warner Music was quick to forward a report from a Bank of America subsidiary titled "For 120 Million, She's All Yours," explaining why the former material girl is no longer worth a nine-digit payday.

BRADGELINA:  After a little over a month, Maddox Jolie-Pitt had his last day at the swank Lycee Francais de New York in NYC; this is at least the fourth school change for Maddox, who has also been a student in New Orleans, Prague, and L.A.  Meanwhile, Pitt may not be getting enough action from Jolie.

JOSH HARTNETT and RHIANNA were... wait for it... caught canoodling at NYC club Pink Elephant Thursday night.

THE OFFICE:  You do not have to be a fan of the show to enjoy this fabulous highlight from last Thursday's episode.  All you need to know is that Angela recently broke off her secret relationship with co-worker Dwight.  Andy is now interested, but Angela has rebuffed him.

COUNTER-INSURGENCY:  The IHT has the transcript of Charlie Rose interviewing David Kilcullen -- an adviser to Gen. Petraeus, a reserve lieutenant colonel in the Australian army, with a doctorate in political anthropology.  I have yet to read something he's written without learning something.  The NYT has a piece on how Fort Leavenworth (which one Friend of Pate has called "a real gated community") has become a front line in the military's tension and soul-searching over Iraq.  Though most of the debate the NYT covers whether SecDef Rumsfeld or the generals bore more responsibility for decisions on troop levels, it's a bit more complicated than that.  For example, Pentagon consultant Thomas P.M. Barnett has argued that a light force was right for the initial invasion, but should have been followed on by a much larger force of "System Administrators."  There is the argument that a heavy footprint would have made Iraq resemble Vietnam or Algeria even more closely.  There is the argument that the current generation of senior officers simply didn't have the experience in addressing the unstructured problems one faces in COIN wars.  And the argument that the post-Vietnam Army, for all of its suppsed soul-searching, mistakenly assumed was that if the military trained for major combat operations, it would be able to easily handle less-violent operations like COIN.  And so on.  Also, the NYT reporting, if true, suggests that the "Shinseki myth" lives in some quarters, which is a shame.

IRAN:  Police have warned 122K people, mostly women, about flouting strict Islamic dress codes since April and nearly 7K of those attended classes on respecting the rules, a newspaper said on Thursday.  Presidents Ahmadinejad of Iran and Chavez of Venezuela are sponsoring projects to underline "the ideological kinship of the left and revolutionary Islam," even though socialism -- like liberal democracy -- is punishable by death in the Islamic theocracy.

IRAQ:  In a major reconciliatory gesture, a leader of Iraq's largest Shiite party visited Sunni Anbar province, delivering a message of unity to tribal sheiks who have staged a US-backed revolt against AQI.  The LA Times looks at Sheik Ahmed Buzaigh Abu Risha, who is taking his brother's place leading the Anbar Salvation Council.  The AP reports on Sheik Faisal Chilab's clan striking a deal with the US in the "triangle of death." A senior AQI terrorist was killed in Mosul Saturday, according to the US military.  Iraqi forces ckilled 48 suspected AQI-linked insurgents during a four-day operation in a Sunni enclave of central Baghdad.  The Iraqi army was supported by local Sunni tribal members and other armed civilians who have turned against AQI in the volatile Fadhil neighborhood.  Anthony H. Cordesman, long pessimistic on Iraq, thinks the odds still aren't good, but that the US should stay another year.  The civilian death toll in Iraq fell to its lowest level in recent memory Saturday, with only four people killed or found dead nationwide, according to reports from police, morgue officials and credible witnesses.

THE WAR and the MEDIA:  Pres. Bush announced Thursday that the Medal of Honor would be posthumously awarded to Lt. Michael P. Murphy, a Navy SEAL killed leading a recon mission deep behind enemy lines in Afghanistan in 2005.  The New York Times did not bother to report it, even though Murphy hailed from Long Island.  Neither did NPR.  Indeed, outside the AP report, few media outlets bothered.

A GIANT PYTHON attacked reptile expert Brady Barr, who was wading waist-deep in liquefied bat poop in a dark, bat-infested Indonesian cave.  Let's go to the video!

SCOOBY was best dog at the wedding of his owner, who does not appear to be named Shaggy.

THE SQUIRREL THREAT:  Militant squirrels take down the power grid at the U of Kentucky -- for the third time.  Grey squirrels have caused 10K of damage to a home in Esquimalt, Canada.

A CAT picked the winning lottery numbers for a Shenzhen resident surnamed Wang, but does not seem to be getting a cut of the winnings.

THE SECRETIVE WORLD of Chinese "Lettuce dogs."  Metro is there.

THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE:

... with THE SEVEN AGES of ROCK: BRITISH INDIE!  This documentary from the BBC traces a Manchester-centric line from the first appearance of The Smiths of the UK's venerable Top of the Pops through the biggest days for Oasis, and on to the Libertines and the Arctic Monkeys.  That's a little sad, as it excludes stuff like the Stiff label, and mentions the Hacienda nightclub w/o recognizing the club exists due to Factory Records.  I would have liked a bit more about the literally riotous early days of the Jesus & Mary Chain, too... but they didn't ask me.  Nevertheless, the JAMC, the Stone Roses, Blur and Suede get decent time; Happy Mondays, Inspiral Carpets and more have cameos.  Tubed in segments:  Part 1- Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9.  There's the more-than-occasional f-bomb lobbed in the interviews as well.

ALL THE BEATLES LPs, compressed into one hour, is streaming from WFMU's blog.  (Thanks, Ken King!)

JOY DIVISION:  Someone from the US distributor for the Ian Curtis biopic Control asked whether Joy Division could play the NYC premiere,  Bassist Peter Hook took it pretty well. The movie, which moves outside NYC on the 26th, is currently scoring 90 percent on the ol' Tomatometer.  Director Anton Corbijn -- who famously photographed Joy Div back in the day -- has been doing the PR thing with Entertainment Weekly, Salon, the Seattle Times, and so on.  BONUS: An hour-long documentary, Heart & Soul: The Story Of Ian Curtis And The Making Of 'Control', is streaming from Xfm Manchester.  (Thanks, Terry Nielsen!)

ROBYN HITCHCOCK:  You can stream his entire box set, which comes out at the end of the month, via YepRoc.  Doesn't include his major label stuff, but still hours of twisted listening pleasure.  (Thanks, Chromewaves!)

JENS LEKMAN talks to Drowned In Sound about a variety of things, including letting his friends decide which songs went on his new album, Night Falls Over Kortedala, which is streaming in full via Spinner through the weekend.

THE BLACK LIPS rocked "O Katrina" like a hurricane for the big redhead on the Peacock the other night.

RADIOHEAD:  The (almost) freely downloadable In Rainbows LP continues to reverberate through the mediasphere.  Guitarist Johnny Greenwood talked to Gothamist on launch day.  Fortune magazine reported on downloading the album.  Business Week looked at "The Big Record Labels' Not-So-Big Future."  Last 100 looked at five alternative models for the industry.  A writer for the Michigan Daily observes: "Though probably not the demise for the record industry, what the Radiohead digital release may signal is the tipping point for death of the local indie-music store..."

OKKERVIL RIVER did a studio session for the World Cafe you can stream from NPR.  The band also serves as the springboard for a Village Voice essay on how "indie" became part of the Indusrty of Cool:  "The inevitable irony, of course, is that this all winds up being sublimated self-loathing..."

IMPERIAL TEEN stopped by The Current for a chat and mini-set you can stream on demand via MPR.

THE CUTOUT BIN:  This Friday's fortuitous finds from the ol' HM are: Bill Murray - Star Wars Theme; The Mountain Goats - Cubs In Five; Joe Dassin - Les Champs Elysees; The Decemberists - The Sporting Life; The Beach Boys - Sloop John B; Billy Bragg - A Lover Sings; The English Beat - Tears of a Clown (Smokey); Elvis Costello - (I Don't Want To Go To) Chelsea; The Bravery - It's All I Can Do (The Cars); A Flock Of Seagulls - I Ran; Devo - Girl U Want; The Bangles - If She Knew What She Wants (Jules Shear); Big Star - September Gurls; The National - Pretty in Pink (P-Furs); Lily Allen - Don't Get Me Wrong (Pretenders); The Pretenders - Not A Second Time (Beatles); Damone - Just What I Needed (The Cars); Luna - Sweet Child O' Mine (GnR); Jens Lekman - A Postcard For Nina; The Zombies - She's Not There; The Pipettes - Dirty Mind; Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings - Tell Me; Otis Redding - I Can't Turn You Loose; Wilson Pickett - Land of 1000 Dances; Bruce Springsteen - Thunder Road (Acoustic Version, 914 Studios, 1974); Robyn Hitchcock - Ye Sleeping Knights of Jesus; Bright Eyes - Four Winds; Ringo Starr - It Don't Come Easy; Pearl Jam - I Can't Help Falling in Love; and Elvis Presley - Are You Lonesome Tonight?

MICHAEL CLAYTON, which stars George Clooney as the "fixer" for a large NYC law firm is so good that I really didn't care that I knew the outcome in advance and could have guessed it had I not known it.  Which is to say the picture is well-written and better-acted.  It is more subtle than a plot synopsis would suggest, and all the better for it.  Even the somewhat foreseeable ending is somewhat redeemed by a particularly catchy line.  Clooney does well enough (though he remains more star than actor), but it's the supporting performances of Tom Wilkinson and Tilda Swinton that make the picture.  Indeed, actors stepped up to the plate across the board, even in the smaller roles taken by the likes of Danny O'Keefe and Sydney Pollack.  And always good to see Ken Howard, even if the White Shadow is looking kinda puffy these days.

NOW SHOWING:  In addition to Michael Clayton, which is currently scoring 89 percent on the ol' Tomatometer, this weekend's wide releases are:  We Own The Night, which is scoring 50 percent; Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married, which was not screened for critics (shocka!); Elizabeth: The Golden Age, which is scoring 25 percent; and The Final Season, which is scoring 19 percent.

JOAQUIN PHOENIX, promoting We Own the Night and the upcoming Reservation Road, hung up on an interview with TimeOut NY, but he was highly quotable before that: "I've been acting since I was eight, and I never looked at entertainment magazines, never watched entertainment shows. I don't think one should be comfortable standing on a stage with people applauding and laughing at every stupid thing you say."  That's just the tip of the 'berg, too. 

BRITNEY SPEARS gets one-night-a-week visitation rights with her sons, but the visits must be supervised by a court-appointed monitor (as opposed to mama Lynne, as Spears sought).  This followed a hearing in which Court Commissioner Scott M. Gordon reminded the pop tart that she has "substance abuse issues and emotional issues... (which) could have devastating effects on the children."  This is what happens when you ignore court orders and act like a diva to the decision-maker.  But Spears seems stuck in denial, still trotting around town without panties on the day she is trying to regain parental rights.

JUDE LAW has been cleared of assaulting a paparazzi photographer, according to People magazine.

THE McCARTNEYS:  Sir Paul and Heather Mills last night ended eight hours of mediation without reaching a deal on what could be the costliest divorce on record.  The Daily Mail claims the sticking points are a privacy clause preventing 39-year-old Mills from discussing the marriage and her annual income from the ex-Beatle's £825million fortune.

MADONNA is close to leaving her long-time Warner Bros. Records label for a wide-ranging 120-million-dollar deal with concert promotion firm Live Nation.  Regular Pate visitors knew this in July.

ORLANDO BLOOM... and Jessica Simpson!?  (Cue Vader.)  What happened to Jennifer Aniston?

BRADGELINA:  Contrary to prior speculation, Jolie and dad Jon Voight remain estranged.  Not to mention just plain ol' strange.

DAVID HASSELHOFF will likely not lose custody of his daughters just because he fell off the wagon with sufficient velocity to land in the hospital, his lawyer Melvin Goldsman tells People magazine.

LARS and the REAL GIRL:  How do you market a wholesome, old-fashioned film about a churchgoer who falls in love with his sex doll? Grass-roots screenings with religious groups, maybe?  Star Ryan Gosling talks to Entertainment Weekly about the movie which he compares to Harvey.  And here's the trailer.

RAMZI YOUSEF, the mastermind of the first terrorist attack on the World Trade Center, claims he converted from Islam to Christianity.  Of course, if you're stuck in a Supermax prison, you're probably not worried about some jihadi trying to kill for your apostasy, either.

INDONESIA:  Convicted Bali nightclub bombers feasted on kebabs with Indonesia's anti-terrorism chief at an evening party held at his house.  The party, which brought together more than 20 Muslim hardliners and former terrorists who have shown "regret" for their actions, was the latest "soft" strategy in Indonesia's anti-terror campaign to try and turn former militants into informers, or advocates of religious moderation.  Unfortunately, at least one of the quoted bombers doesn't sound very reformed yet.

IRAN:  Watch Hashemi Rasfanjani -- often described as a "moderate" and a "reformer" in the Western media -- tell his audience that the Holocaust was at least partially the fault of the Jews, who were a "pain in the neck" to the Nazis and other European countries.

IRAQ:  Six main Iraqi insurgent groups announced the formation of a "political council" in a new attempt to assert the leadership of the groups, which have moved to distance themselves from another coalition of insurgent factions led by AQI.  The Marines want to take the lead in Afghanistan, in anticipation of drawdowns in Iraq's Anbar province.  SecDef Gates yesterday played down the discussion.  Michael J. Totten has posted video of a walking tour of Ramadi with Army Capt. Phil Messer taken in August.  In a number of Shiite neighborhoods across Baghdad, residents are beginning to turn away from the Mahdi Army, the Shiite militia they once saw as their only protector against Sunni militants.

IRAQ II:  Over 37 terrorists were killed, 25 suspects detained, and several weapons caches were discovered during military operations conducted by the Multi-National Forces in Diyala province, an MNF statement said.  Iraqi authorities said Wednesday that they had arrested the killer of a policeman who was murdered earlier in Kirkuk.  Thirteen suspected insurgents, including three members of AQI responsible for the assassination of a Sunni Arab preacher, were killed within hours by a US airstrike, the US military said on Thursday.  A recent raid in the town of Sinjar near the Syrian border yielded "literally terabytes of electronic files," including 800 names of al Qaeda terrorists - 143 of those either "en route or already delivered" to Iraq.  The intel included the terrorists' names, passport numbers, home addresses and their transit routes.

SUPER GROOM 2007:  A day after blurbing the Cat Championships in NYC, how can I overlook pooches preened and painted with non-toxic temporary food dyes in Vegas?  Yep, that's the Teenage Mutant Ninja Poodle.  More pics at the link.

CATS & DOGS: Thumper the black Lab saved his owner from a house fire, which fire officials believe was caused by Princess, the family cat.

DOG SPAYED as the veternary clinic goes up in flames.

TREE LIZARD UPDATE:  A nearly four-foot-long monitor lizard, suspected of killing small pets in an Orange County community, was finally caught Thursday.   Pics and video at the link.

KILLER GATOR snuffs it in Savannah, GA.  The nearly eight-foot alligator was responsible for the death of an 83-year-old Canadian woman -- said to be the first fatal gator attack in Georgia in more than 25 years.

GATOR THIEF sentenced and married on the same day, by the same judge, in Chambersberg, PA.  Franklin County Judge John R. Walker said: "By God, he got a life sentence."

MEAT PUPPETS:  Both Curt and Cris Kirkwood talk to The A.V. Club about the past and present.  At the moment, there's new and old to stream via the ol' HM.  BONUS:  Curt Kirkwood and Rufus Leaking perform "Backwater" on Pancacke Mountain.

ROGUE WAVE did an interview and mini-set at the World Cafe, streamable on demand via NPR.

RADIOHEAD:  Pitchfork has a track-by-track guide to the newly downloadable In Rainbows album, with plenty of embeded video.  Oasis, Jamiroquai, Nine Inch Nails and the Flaming Lips all seem likely to follow Radiohead's move to self-releasing albums.

THE RAVEONETTES: BiBaBiDi is streaming four new demos from the duo.

METRIC, along with taking requests, debuted a few new songs during the band's "Hey, Play This" gig for MySpace.

GLENN MERCER:  The former Feelies frontman talks to Things I'd Rather Be Doing about his "stunningly good solo album," which features almost all of the Feelies... minus Bill Million.  You can stream a couple via GlennSpace.  BTW, the album is available via Pravda, which is Pate's former label also.  Mercer covered the Feelies' "Only Life" at a Brooklyn gig in April.  The Jonathan Demme directed vid for "Away" is a bonus, though even that clip doesn't fully capture the frenetic energy of one of their live shows.  Mercer and Million would bounce off of each other; guitar picks would fly out of Million's hand with great regularity.

DAMON & NAOMI (formerly of Galaxie 500) talk about their melancholy melodies and more with the San Francisco Bay Guardian.  You can stream a few via D&NSpace.

JOSH RITTER, "quickly becoming the standard-bearer for a new generation of Americana artists," played DC's 9:30 Club the other night; you can stream the whole gig now via NPR.

BOB DYLAN:  The NYT Magazine ran a piece on "I'm Not There," the unconventional biopic by Todd Haynes featuring six Dylans.

NELLIE McKAY:  The idiosyncratic singer, songwriter and skilled multi-instrumentalist is profiled the San Diego Union-Tribune, with embedded video.

BRITNEY SPEARS hit Fed-Ex "several times during their marriage," or so an "insider" tells the uber-reliable Life & Style magazine.  A "friend" of the pop tart tells OK! magazine that she loves her pet Yorkie more than her kids.  Her estranged dad is so worried by her erratic behavior he wants to have her committed.  Her new album will be released two weeks earlier than expected, on Oct. 30, ostensibly due to Internet leaks... but a Halloween release seems about right.  And she's kinda topless in the uncut version of the "Gimme More" video, as though you can't see even more than that on the Internet.

UMA THURMAN, contrary to prior reports, is not engaged to her Swiss millionaire boyfriend.

REESE WITHERSPOON & RYAN PHILLIPPE are officially divorced.

PAMELA ANDERSON:  The newlywed is already pregnant, according to the uber-reliable InTouch Weekly.

JENNIFER LOPEZ:  More evidence of pregnancy on the set of MTV's Total Request Live.

LINDSAY LOHAN denies responsibility for breaking up the marriage of a British heiress and her musican husband.  Her new boyfriend is 25-year-old snowboarder Riley Giles, who she met during her stay at the Cirque Lodge rehab center.  An "insider" told OK! magazine that Li-Lo fired her mother, but her rep denies it.

DENISE RICHARDS & CHARLIE SHEEN:  Richards got plenty of pixels to tell her side of the bitter custody story to Cindy Adams in the NY Post.

GEORGE CLOONEY doesn't want Palisades Medical Center employees suspended for allegedly leaking Clooney's and girlfriend Sarah Larson's private medical records to the media after his recent motorcycle crash.  He's mellowed considerably from the days when he organized a celebrity boycott of Entertainment Tonight...

JACKO suffers from lupus, sources close to the former pop star tell Roger Friedman.

HUGH GRANT:  The Daily Mail has more than you ever wanted to know about Scandinavian beauty Caroline Hargreaves, who was caught canoodling Grant on camera the other day.

CHARLIZE THERON is Esquire magazine's new "Sexiest Woman Alive."  Interview and pics at the link.  Prior honorees include Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel.

NANOTECH:  Nanotextiles may help protect the wearer from viruses, bacteria and the harmful components of air pollution.

MILITARY RECRUITMENT:  All US military Services met or exceeded their active duty recruiting goals for FY 2007.  The Army National Guard and Air National Guard fell a few percent short.  The Army is offering cash bonuses of up to 35K to retain young officers serving in key specialties.

SWISS UNREST:  The capital of Berne was turned into a battle zone at the weekend when leftwing radicals seized control of the main square outside parliament, routing the main far-right political party two weeks before a general election and catching the Swiss police off guard.  The Swiss People's Party (SVP), which is tipped to win elections later this month, has used posters and ads with racist overtones.  But the Guardian omits that the SVP is already the largest party in Parliament as populists representing a strong strain of Swiss national conservatism who despise liberals and the left, but not as  neo-Nazis. There has been at least one recent case of an African immigrant being attacked by masked assailants wielding chainsaws.  Sadly, it is not tough for a party to tap into anti-immigrant sentiment when, according to federal statistics, about 70 percent of the prison population is non-Swiss and supporting poor immigrant families is an increasing drain on the national budget.  And Switzerland has not been really progressive when it comes to women, either.  There is likely a partial chicken-egg problem here, too -- unassimilated immigrants in Europe may have less success and create more social strain than in the US melting pot (though we're less melting alll the time). 

IRAQ:  None of the 1000-plus Iraqi detainees freed recently have returned to the insurgency, according to the Marine general who oversees US detention centers in Iraq.  The Iraqi government is willing to hand over wanted detainees to Saudi Arabia and will not allow terrorism to be exported to the kingdom, according to Vice Pres. Hashemi.  Shiite leader Abdul-Aziz al-Hakim returned to Baghdad after five months of hospital treatment in Iran, according to media reports.  After more than 20 months, September was the first month that there were no murders within the western Ameriya neighborhood of Baghdad.  Barring a spectacular attack in the next day or so, this year's Ramadan witnessed a 37 percent decrease in terrorist operations in comparison to the same period last year.  Michael J. Totten blogs from Ramadi about "The Best Police Force In Iraq."

A LUCKY KANGAROO decided to hop across the track during qualifying day for the Bathurst 100 car race in Australia last weekend.  Video at the link.  BONUS:  Greenpeace argues that more kangaroos should be slaughtered and eaten to help save the world from global warming.  I'm hoping for a Greenpeace-PETA cage match.

A PINK FLAMINGO that escaped from a Wichita, KS zoo in 2005 was spotted in Louisiana about three weeks ago -- apparently with the same companion it had the last time it was spotted.

GIZMO the RABBIT is missing... and allergic to lettuce and carrots.

OLYMPIC PIGS:  The Chinese communist regime is secretly breeding high-cost, high-quality porkers for its athletes, which has stirred anger among Chinese citizens.

THE CAT CHAMPIONSHIPS:  The claws will be out in NYC this weekend as hundreds of pedigree cats, with stage names such as "Disco Nofurno" and "Leonid the Magnificent," compete to win.

ARCHITECTURE IN HELSINKI brings in a pyro expert to spice up the video for the funky "Debbie."

OF MONTREAL stopped by the current for a chat and mini-set, inclding a new song and covers of "Trouble" (Lindsey Buckingham), and "The Kids Are Alright" (The Who).

THE REPLACEMENTS:  Most of last Sunday's edition of Sound Opinions was devoted to a "Classic Album Dissection" of The "Mats' 1984 release Let It Be.  Chitown music scribes Jim DeRogatis and Greg Kot talk with longtime Mplis music journo Jim Walsh who has written an oral history of the band called "The Replacements: All Over But the Shouting," due this November 15.  You can stream or download at the link.

STEVE EARLE, whose new LP was reviewed on Sound Opinions, talked to Pitchfork about Dylan, Springsteen, Elvis Costello and Emmylou Harris, plus getting room service for his dog.

ROLLING STONE has posted excerpts from its 2007 Hot List.  And while I haven't put much stock in RS since high school, Megan Fox, Band Of Horses and Iron Man armor aren't bad picks...(though I s'pose if I was still full-on hipster, I'd argue that listing BoH after they sold a tune to Wal-Mart isn't the height of hot).

THE ROLLING STONES made their second US TV appearance on The Mike Douglas Show, covering Buddy Holly's "Not Fade Away."

FIERY FURNACES composer Matthew Friedberger is only half-kidding when he tells Cincinnati City beat that the new Widow City LP was partially inspired by 1970s women's magazines and an episode of The Sopranos.

THE UNSEEN BEATLES is a documentary about the Fab Four's final concert in San Francisco's Candlestick Park in 1966.  There's a clip posted at Amazon.

LILY ALLEN has gone from size 12 to size eight after several sessions with a hypnotherapist.

PETE DOHERTY:  The troubled singer's new addiction looks to be food.

LINDSAY LOHAN gave OK! magazine her first interview since leaving rehab, which she called "a sobering experience."  She's a genius, that one.  At least Morgan's Creek CEO James Robinson -- who once publicly criticized her work ethic -- says he'd hire her again in a second.  BTW, does the fact that her ex-con dad Michael's girlfriend is a dead ringer for Li-Lo move him into the "creepy" category?

SIENNA MILLER was miffed at the publication of nude pics from the set of Hippie Hippie Shake, so she's going to be really miffed at the even more explicit photos that have turned up on the Internet.

BRITNEY SPEARS took a drug test this weekend and passed.  All that time put in studying paid off.  The pop tart was snapped saying goodbye to her boys in a teary-eyed embrace after Monday's visitation.  And Spears was ordered by a L.A. County judge to be booked for August's alleged hit-and-run, before her next court appearance on Oct. 25.

THE McCARTNEYS:  Sir Paul and Heather Mills may have reached a divorce setllement between £57million and £64million by the time you read this.

PAMELA ANDERSON announced her marriage to French Hotel sex tape cc-star Rick Salomon on her blog with the title, "The Adventures of Scum and Pam Have Begun."  Anderson's ex, Kid Rock had some words of wisdom for Salomon - advice he says he only wishes someone had offered him: "Why buy the cow, when you get the milk for free?"  I'll skip past the udder joke to note there's video at the second link.

KIEFER SUTHERLAND pleaded no contest to a DUI charge will serve 30 days in county jail under terms of a plea agreement.  After a year in a Chinese torture chamber, he should be able to do that time in his sleep.

DEMI MOORE, in an interview in London's Guardian, emphatically denies that she's had extensive plastic surgery, but says that "To fight it feels futile because... it perpetuates the myth."  Actually, it's decades of photos that perpetuate it.

DAVID SPADE donated 25000 to the family of a slain Phoenix police officer after reading about the shooting and the fact that he had overcome cancer to return to duty: "It just struck me as such a rough situation just because cops in general get kind of a bad rap lately and people forget it is the scariest job out there."

UMA THURMAN is reportedly engaged to her Swiss millionaire lover.  The two began dating after meeting at a party in Italy in July.  In August, they were seen canoodling in New York and were also spotted together in London last week.

NICOLE KIDMAN & KEITH URBAN are rarin' to start farming on the land they just bought in Tennessee.  Kidman has laready starred in remakes of The Stepford Wives and Bewitched, so why not Green Acres?

DAVID HASSELHOFF fell off the wagon and has been hospitalized, but his rep says the Hoff is doing fine.  But for now, don't jump in his car, m'kay?

ELEVEN INCONVENIENT TRUTHS:  Last week, a British judge ruled that schools would have to issue a warning before they show pupils Al Gore's controversial film about global warming.  In order for the film to be shown, the Government must first amend their Guidance Notes to Teachers to make clear that: the film is a political work and promotes only one side of the argument; if teachers present it without making this plain they may be guilty of political indoctrination; and eleven inaccuracies have to be specifically drawn to the attention of school children.

NANOTECH:  France's Albert Fert and German Peter Gruenberg will share the 2007 Nobel Prize in physics for a discovery that has allowed a radical reduction in the size and increase in the capacity of computer hard drives.  So I can't help mentioning that Pate frontman Jon Pratt is an award-winning scientist in related fields, like measuring nanoscale forces.

AL QAEDA in CYBERSPACE:  Private contractors working with the US government to monitor and track al Qaeda Internet communications say their windows into the various operations are not closed, despite published reports in the WaPo and the NY Sun to the contrary.  Rita Katz of the SITE Institute claims the White House leaked the most recent bin Laden video she gave them, but it seems that the White House had a translation of the video a full 24 hours before SITE intercepted it.

IRAQ:  AQI's Ramadan assassination campaign continues.  Two suicide truck bombs exploded in the northern town of Baji, targeting a police chief and a tribal leader who had joined forces with the US military against al-Qaeda.  Anonymous gunmen killed the police deputy chief of Nineveh province, also in the north.  Unknown gunmen assassinated a leading Shiite cleric in the Baghdad area of Al-Rasafah.  But a preliminary analysis (Ramadan ends on the 12th) suggests AQI may not match last year's Ramadan carnage, let alone the pace it set earlier this year.  The head of yet another Sunni insurgent group in Anbar province has met with US and Iraqi officials and expressed hope that former insurgents would have a role in the country's future.  In Anbar, a unique tribal reconciliation process is allowing repentant former AQI loyalists to return to homes and families free from the threat of arrest by coalition forces.  All of which may explain why AQI's objective seems to have changed from adding more towns and villages to the so-called "Islamic State in Iraq" to destroying the very same towns and villages.

IRAQ and the MEDIA:  Newsday's Timothy Phelps reports from DC that Basra is in chaos following the announcement of a UK troop withdrawal.  The London Telegraph's Con Coughlin reports from Basra that crime is down 70 per cent, and rocket and mortar attacks against British forces - which were running at more than 90 a day in the summer - have been reduced almost to zero (not surprising, given that they have moved out of the city center and are out by the airport).  Michael Yon was in Basra recently and e-mails that Basra is not in chaos.

A LARGE LIZARD capable of eating small pets and injuring children spotted in a Central Florida neighborhood tree remains on the loose, keeping homeowners on edge.  Video at the link.

GAYLORD the OSTRICH was the victim of a revenge killing that is sending a San francisco area man to jail.

A COW is in custody after causing traffic accidents that killed at least six people this year, Cambodian police say.

A MOOSE thinks it is a cow in Cannonball, ND.

MARLEY the PIT BULL assists a deaf man in Virginia Beach, because who won't help a man with a pit bull?  Video at the link.

ARCADE FIRE venture again into the crowd after a concert, this time to cover "Kiss Off" by the Violent Femmes.  BTW, did you check out their new interactive video site?

NEW RELEASES:  Jens Lekman, Band Of Horses, Cut Off Your Hands, Enon, Deborah Harry, Eric Clapton and more are streaming in full via Spinner.  Radiohead is selling downloads of In Rainbows for whatever you want to pay above the credit card processing fee.  Robert Pollard releases both Coast To Coast Carpet Of Love and Standard Gargoyle Decisions.  Beirut officially releases The Flying Club Cup.  The Fiery Furnaces go to Widow City.  Sunset Rubdown releases Random Spirit Lover.  And for late night listening -- depending on the kind of night -- you might check out Doveman or Scout Niblett.

JENS LEKMAN talks to Pitchfork about his samples, badminton and the ire of the South Swedish Elvis Society.

JOHN FOGERTY:  All Things Considered has an audio feature on the onetime CCR frontman's return to Fantasy Records, plus audio and video links to a track from that album, Revival.  Amber Taylor will be thrilled.

ANIMAL COLLECTIVE and Vampire Weekend's NYC gig is reviewed by David Byrne.  AC just made its national TV debut.  Oh, to have an audience rection shot!

THE FLAMING LIPS have a new song, "The Tale Of The Horny Frog," on the soundtrack of The Heartbreak Kid; you can stream it via the 'Gum.

SPOON rocked "The Underdog" and rolled "You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb" on a late night comedy program Saturday night.  And it's your Twofer Tuesday.

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN just released Magic, but apparently has enough material in the can for another LP already:  "There's another group of songs that exist that I think are great songs and should end up somewhere, but they just didn't quite fit with this group," says producer Brendan O'Brien.

THE RAMONES:  That Truncheon Thing has posted a gig from New Year's Eve 1979 at the Palladium in NYC.  You can jukebox it via the ol' HM.

ERIC CLAPTON:  Spinner has an excerpt about the breakup of Cream from his new autobiography, as well as video of Slowhand talking about "Layla."

PETE DOHERTY UPDATE:  The troubled singer's manager denies that Doherty took an overdose at the Clouds House clinic in Wiltshire.

BRITNEY SPEARS:  Sources tell TMZ the real reason the pop tart didn't answer her buzzer when her kids came to visit last Thursday is because she wants nothing to do with anyone who tries to tell her how to be a good parent.  But Sean P. and little Jayden were escorted into the house Monday, along with what appears to be the court ordered parenting coach.  Spears has reached the point where people scream at her on the street to get out of the neighborhood, and throw hot coffee on her car.  For her part, Spears has become obsessed with Princess Diana and now believes she will meet the same tragic fate as the People's Princess.  And uber-reliable BANG Media reports that burglars are believed to have made off with Britney's collection of raunchy homemade sex tapes, uniforms Britney allegedly wears for kinky sex games, as well as a selection of the singer's steamiest photographs.

VANESSA HUDGENS:  The High Scool Musical starlet took time off from e-mailing dudes nude pics of herself to come down hard on the "stupid" behavior of rehab-devotees Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan.

PRINCE HARRY was snapped snorting vodka in a drinking game medical experts warn could kill.

HALLE BERRY loves morning sickness and vomiting and hot sweats.  I guess that's why she got pregnant.

JESSICA SIMPSON may be getting back to her country roots, but she has her sights set on a NYC apartment, ostensibly to be close to her record label.

DENISE RICHARDS & CHARLIE SHEEN:  She has listed her 5,188-square-foot house for 3.9 million, having moved into a nearby five-bedroom, 5,600-square-foot house with a pool for about 4.6 million.  There's not a lot of high-profile projects on her resume at the moment, so I have to think she's doing personal appearances.  Meanwhile, he  is so serious about fiancée Brooke Mueller, he's promised to remove his 13 tattoos, which she hates.  He doesn't remember getting some of them.

BRADGELINA:   Little Zahara Jolie-Pitt flips off the paparazzi.  Wonder where she learned that!

P. DIDDY is taking legal responsibility for his sixth child... after DNA tests proved he was the father, natch.

HUGH GRANT looks like he's dating an entire sorority.  NTTAWWT.

THE DARJEELING LIMITED:  Owen Wilson made a brief public appearance at the Los Angeles premiere of Wes Anderson's latest.  Wes Anderson and Jason Schwartzman talk to MTV about the movie and how Schwartzman got cut out of The Royal Tenenbaums.  The A.V. Club lists "16 Films Without Which Wes Anderson Couldn't Have Happened."

THE HOBBIT:  Entertainment Weekly reports that the bitter legal feud between Rings Of The Rings director Peter Jackson and New Line Cinema may finally be nearing resolution, which would pave the way for Jackson to helm J.R.R. Tolkien's maiden Middle-Earth masterpiece.  It's a lengthy piece with lotsa juice, too.

FILM THREAT has a four-part series documenting The 50 Best Breasts in Movie History, with embedded video.  Because October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  And who can object to raising... awareness?

CARTOON JIHAD:  A new documentary shows that several of the instigators behind the violent Mohammed cartoon demonstrations never even saw the drawings.  Shocka!

IRAN:  More than 100 students scuffled with police and hardline supporters of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on Monday on Tehran University campus and chanted "Death to the dictator" outside a hall where the Iranian president spoke.  Students and activists say some of those who have spoken out against the president and his government in the past two years have been detained or blacklisted from university courses.

MIDEAST MYSTERY:  The Israeli strike on Syria in September -- and the ensuing silence from everyone --  leads inexorably to the conclusion that the implications must have been enormous.  A "very senior British ministerial source" tells the UK's Spectator: "If people had known how close we came to world war three that day there'd have been mass panic. Never mind the floods or foot-and-mouth - Gordon really would have been dealing with the bloody Book of Revelation and Armageddon."  And buried in Jim Hoagland's Sunday WaPo column is the claim that "highly classified U.S. intelligence reports say that the Israelis destroyed a nuclear-related facility and caused North Korean casualties at the site, which may have been intended to produce plutonium..."

IRAQ:  Some Iraqi leaders, arguing that sectarian animosity is entrenched in the structure of their government, now stress alternative and perhaps more attainable goals to reconciliation.  The Iraqi Jihad Union becomes the latest militant faction to criticize AQI.  An Interior Ministry official has accused former Prime Minister Allawi and Hareth Al-Dhari, the leader of a mainstream Sunni movement, of having links with a militant group.  Gen. Petraeus accuses the Iranian ambassador to Iraq of belonging to the Qods force.  The Times of London follows jihadis to Iraq from Syria.  The NYT reports that Syria is encouraging Sunni Arab insurgent groups and former Iraqi Baathists with ties to the leaders of Saddam Hussein's government to organize there.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH:  Babies and kittens.  More awww...some pics at the link.

HONEY the GOLDEN RETRIEVER started producing milk due to an orphaned kitten's cries.  Awww...some pic at the link (and possibly still on the front page through the link).

A LLAMA brought the Virgin Trains service to a halt outside Stoke-on-Trent, but was not interested in boarding.

HAMSTERS on V1AGRA bounce back from jet lag faster than their unmedicated friends.  So. Many. Punchlines.

CROWS stare unamazed as they are outfitted with tiny cameras for their own reality TV show.  But will they sing?