THE NATIONAL rolled out a cover of the Velvet Underground classic, "What Goes On," at New York Magazine's 40th Anniversary Party. With horns, even. RELATED: The Guardian Music Blog covers John Cale's tribute to Nico at Festival Hall.

NEW RELEASES: Hand-picked David Bowie, I'm From Barcelona, Ray LaMontagne, Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison, Ingrid Michaelson, Secret Machines and more are streaming in full this week via Spinner. Lucinda Williams releases Little Honey.

ROBYN HITCHCOCK appears in Jonathan Demme's "Rachel Getting Married," as well as having two songs on the soundtrack, including the previously unreleased "Up to Our Nex."

BLACK KIDS do the three free songs thing for Daytrotter.

ROBERT POLLARD: The Memphis Flyer surveys the career (so far) of Mr. Prolific.

KISS is branching out into a line of branded Mr. Potato Head dolls. Pics at the link.

ANDREW BIRD is trying out songs from the upcoming Noble Beast album on tour Stereogum has your Fourfer Tuesday.

DRIVE-BY TRUCKER Patterson Hood explains to the Charleston City Paper why his solo album is held up. 

LIZ PHAIR is looking to write a book of fiction.

JULIANA HATFIELD talks to the Chicago Sun-Times about the relationship of her memoirs to her songwriting.

JON BON JOVI is being sued by musician Samuel Bartley Steele for 400 billion dollars. Sounds like Dr. Evil to me.

JOHNNY DEPP has been named the Sexiest Man in the World by the UK version of Cosmopolitan magazine, as girls go ga-ga for older fellas. Only three men in their 20s make the Top 25.

MARSHA, MARSHA MARSHA: Maureen McCormick's memoir comes out today, covering her romance with Brady Bunch sibling Barry Williams, dates with Michael Jackson and Steve Martin, cocaine binges and parties at the Playboy Mansion and the home of Sammy Davis Jr., an unwanted pregnancy and trading sex for drugs.

LINDSAY LOHAN & SAMANTHA RONSON have reportedly hit a rocky patch in their relationship - just weeks after going public with their romance.

BRADGELINA: The W magazine article with the buzzwothy cover is now online.

NATALIE PORTMAN has been quietly visiting sick children at an L.A. hospital three days a week.

JESSICA SIMPSON wants to have six babies.  Perhaps more interesting is that -- in a single interview -- she can say both "I'm pretty good at blocking negativity" and "A lot of people live in denial because it's easier, but I've learned it's not easier in the long run."

TWILIGHT: The final trailer for the teen vampire book adaptation is now online. 

J.J. ABRAMS, creator of Alias, Lost, Fringe, Cloverfield and the Star Trek reboot, engaged in a webchat with fans for the Guardian.

NORTH KOREA: Pics of a healthy-looking Kim Jong Il actually look to be months old. Shocka.

THE STANS: A 20-year-old American man was arrested late Monday at a checkpoint near the Afghan border in a tribal region where Pakistani troops are fighting the Taliban and al-Qaeda. NATO Commander Gen. David D. McKiernan disagrees with media reports claiming we are losing in Afghanistan.

IRAQ: Gen. Ray Odierno says that Iran is working publicly and covertly to undermine the US-Iraq security pact. Ryan Crocker, US Ambassador to Iraq, is interviewed at the Long War Journal. The Iraqi Interior Ministry fired 20K policemen and officers through the past two years along with firing ministry personnel to reach a professional performance for the ministry.

FLAMING RAT sets house ablaze after prank goes awry.  Video and pics at the link.

DEER HITS HIPPO in Blair County, PA.

OVER 20 THOUSAND COWS have gone missing in the UK.

NEITHER RAIN NOR SNOW, nor ratllesnake bite will deter Florida mail carrier Efraim Arango from his appointed rounds.

HEY, IS THAT SIX LOBSTERS IN YOUR PANTS, or... oh, it is.

MGMT: It seems like "The Youth" just walked off the set of Xanadu, but ELO and ONJ are nowhere to be found.

THE MAGNETIC FIELDS stopped by The Current for a chat and mini-set you can stream on dmand via MPR.

JUST LIKE HEAVEN: The Cure tribute album is streaming in full via ALR Music. 

BRIAN WILSON perfomed a mini-set for the World Cafe you can stream on demand via NPR.

RA RA RIOT played the Black Cat in DC last night; you can stream the gig on demand via NPR.

LAMBCHOP: Kurt Wagner plays a Tiny Desk concert -- starting with a Bob Dylan song from Blood on the Tracks called "You're a Big Girl Now" -- for NPR.

AL GREEN talks to the Times of London about the South, religion and r-e-s-p-e-c-t.LUCINDA WILLIAMS talks to Newsday about her new, happier, more rockin' album (due tomorrrow).

BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE: Brendan Canning explains to the Mpls Star-Trib whether the BSS solo albums are more like the KISS solo records or the Wu-Tang Clan's.

ROCKERS OF THE WORLD, Unite.

NEW PORNOGRAPHER Carl Newman tells the Sydney Morning Herald about having to explain his job to a co-op board in Brooklyn.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE: Beverly Hills Chihuahua repeats at No.1 with 17.5 million, beating the debuts of Quarantine and Body of Lies, which made 14.2 and 13.1 million, respectively. That's a double embarassment fro Body of Lies; Quarantine cost only 12 million to make while Body of Lies had a 70 million production budget, DiCaprio, Crowe and director Ridley Scott.  Eagle Eye dropped to fouth place, and looks like it may recoup its 80 million budget.  Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist rounds out the Top Five with 6.5 million; it has already made 20.8 million on a ten million acquisition cost.  The Express opened in sixth place, making only 4.7 million on a 40 million budget.  City of Ember openend in tenth, making only 3.2 million on a 38 million budget.

LISA MARIE PRESLEY and husband Michael Lockwood welcomed twin girls on Tuesday.

CHRISTIE BRINKLEY claims that ex-husband Peter Cook breached the confidentiality agreement in their divorce settlement by appearing on 20/20 with Barbara Walters.

BRADGELINA: Experts think Jolie's W mag cover may inspire more new mothers to breast-feed.

JAMIE LYNN SPEARS pregnancy rumors again in the ever-reliable National Enquirer.

BRITNEY SPEARS is having steamy text messages with Fed-Ex, according to the uber-reliable News of the World.

SOUTH PARK: The season premiere - which featured George Lucas and Steven Spielberg allegedly "raping Indiana Jones" -- set ratings records, but caught corporate sibling Paramount off-guard.

COLUMBUS DAY:  I get it as a holiday, so I thought a few words might be in order. Over the course of my life, I have seen the image of Columbus swing from unvarnished hero to genocidal criminal. Locales like Berkeley, CA have renamed the day "Indigenous Peoples Day. The ever-reliable Wikipedia contains allegations of genocide from Hugo Chavez , though the bogus accounts from Ward Churchill have been removed since his dismissal from Colorado University. Columbus was certainly no sweetheart, but at the end of the 15th Century, it is fair to say that Europeans often did not treat each other all that well. Moreover, before the furriners showed up, Native North and South Americans engaged in slavery, tribal massacre, infanticide, scalping, human sacrifice, and the ritual skinning of slaves for their priests to wear. It was a far less civilized time all 'round. But the West is civilized today in part because of Columbus. Some four centuries-plus later, we all are still struggling to become more civilized, but focusing criticism o­n the more-civilized while giving the less civilized a pass is not particularly useful to that struggle.

IRAN may have the capacity to produce up to 60 nuclear bombs within two years, according to a leading US non -proliferation expert. And the nation has set two preconditions for holding talks with the US: Troops must leave the Mideast and stop supporting Israel.

IRAQ: The nation's major stock market index went up 40 percent last month. Expat Kurds want to reform the ruling party in the north.

A FEARSOME MUTANT CATFISH has started killing people after feeding on human corpses, scientists fear.

FRISKY MOOSE UPDATE: The red pickup truck parked at the Windsor Institute in Hampton, NH, wasn't the first Ford targeted by an amorous moose last week in the town.

THE SQUIRREL THREAT: A militant squirrel ignited a fiery chain reaction that led to a power line collapse, car fire, natural gas fire and a power outage in northwest Spokane, WA.

DAY OF THE DOLPHINS:  A leaping 9-foot, 400-pound dolphin hospitalized two boaters when it landed in their laps as they traveled in the Intracoastal Waterway near New Smyrna Beach, FL. Pics and video at the link.

SHEEP GAS: Global warming researchers will be measuring sheep belching, but the sheep will not be forced into plastic pants to measure the other end.

THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE:

...with THE FAB FAUX!  Not every Beatles tribute band boasts musicians like Will Lee from The Late Show with David Letterman and Jimmy Vivino from Late Night with Conan O'Brien.  So when they play, it's not surprising to find cameos from Conan O'Brien on "My Bonnie"  and "Too Much Monkey Business," Mighty Max Weinberg on "A Hard Day's Night" and "You Can't Do That," former Beatlemaniac Marshall Crenshaw on "When I Get Home," and Elvis Costello on "Yes It Is" and "Hey Bulldog." But the band prides itself on its replications of the later, more elaborate Beatles songs, like this version of "I Am The Walrus" on Dave's show to mark the anniversary of the origials' famed appearance at the Ed Sullivan Theater.

THE BEATLES are slammed as capitalists who cynically exploited youth culture for commercial gain. by British historian David Fowler.  He prefers folk-dancing rural revivalist Rolf Gardiner, whose reputation has been somewhat tarnished over the years by claims that he was a Nazi sympathizer.

THE BANGLES: Susanna Hoffs talks to The Age about playing the lucrative county fair circuit and working up new material.

OF MONTREAL hit Washington DC last night; you can stream the gig on demand via NPR.

JAMIE LIDELL stopped by The Current for a chat and mini-set you can stream via MPR.

THE FLAMING LIPS: The NYT visits the Wayne Coyne compound.

IN NAME ONLY: Carrie Brownstein blogs about bands that we've secretly never heard and artists we honestly have never heard beyond a track or two -- Frank Zappa, Captain Beefheart, My Bloody Valentine, Minutemen, Soft Machine and even Bob Dylan or Thin Lizzy.

ALMOST FAMOUS was on cable last night; Friday seems like a good time to break out "Tiny Dancer." Or even some live Ben Folds, who just gave an interview to TimeOut Chicago about his new album and the recent BFF reunion.

TEGAN & SARA: The latter tells the Mpls CityPages she is uncomfortable being treated like David Cassidy. 

WYE OAK does the four free songs thing for Daytrotter, two previously unreleased.

M. WARD talks to Paste about his upcoming solo album and She & Him Vol.Two.

JOHNNY CASH = Busiest Dead Dude Ever.

CUTOUT BIN: From Van Halen to Vampire Weekend, from Chumbawumba to Chiliwack, from the Feelies to the Flying Burrito Bros., from the Buggles to the Bangles, from Jason & the Scorchers to the Jackson 5, from Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazlewood to 999, plus more -- this Friday's fortuitous finds can be jukeboxed or streamed separately via the Pate page at the ol' HM.

NOW SHOWING: This weekend's wide releases are the sports drama The Express, currently scoring 77 percent on the ol' Tomatometer; The DiCaprio-Crowe thriller Body of Lies, currently scoring 58 percent; The unscreened horror-thriller Quarrantine; and the family adventure City of Ember, which is scoring 56 percent. Keira Knightley's historical drama The Duchess, currently scoring 61 percent, expands to wide release.

GERARD BUTLER ("300") is under investigation for allegedly striking a paparazzo (who allegedly may have deserved it).

BRADGELINA: Jolie is seen breastfeeding in the W magazine cover photo shot by Pitt.

CHARLIZE THERON is headed to federal court later this month for a breach-of-contract lawsuit against her by Swiss watchmaker Raymond Weil.

JENNIFER ANISTON has hired a therapist at 250/weekly for her dog Norman, according to a new report.  Probably needs it.

SARAH JESSICA PARKER & MATTHEW BRODERICK: Save Ferris.

COURTNEY COX tells Marie Claire that she's tried Botox -- and hated it.

ANNE HATHAWAY & HELENA BONHAM CARTER will play the Queens in Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland.

THE 500 GREATEST MOVIES OF ALL TIME, courtesy of Empire magazine, which polled readers, critics and Hollywood bigs like Quentin Tarantino and Guillermo del Toro. But I'm guessing it's the readers who rated Raiders of the Lost Ark above Citizen Kane.

THE END OF THE DREAM(WORKS): DreamWorks has split from Paramount, and David Geffen is leaving the movie biz.  The Daily Beast looks at Steven Spielberg's possible future projects.

THE HOBBIT & FRANKENSTEIN: Director Guillermo del Toro speaks. And speaks even more to MTV News.

RELIGULOUS: For a guy who made a movie laughing at organized religion, Bill Maher has some odd personal beliefs himself.  A saying about motes and beams comes to mind.

NORTH KOREA has barred international inspectors from its Yongbyon nuclear facilities. Who'da thunkit?  But the US is close to removing North Korea from its terrorism blacklist if it can get an agreement on verification of those facilities. 'Cause it's not like the NoKos would ever renege on a deal, would they?

AFGHANISTAN: The US military is to provide the Afghan Army with armored vehicles and NATO standard weapons in an attempt to boost the capability of the fledgling force. The supreme allied commander of NATO wants to focus more on the illicit chemical labs and support networks that exist to help convert opium into heroin, the ultimate cash cow for the stubborn insurgency, particularly in the south.

IRAQ: Miles of concrete blast walls are strting to come down in parts of Baghdad. Another element of the transition, which has attracted far less notice than the transfer of Awakening forces from US to Iraq responsibility, is the effort by the Iraqi Army to begin turning over neighborhoods to the paramilitary National Police. In the future, its officers, too, will leave and be replaced by regular police officers. Tribal elders are reviving a traditional process to heal the deep animosities resulting from sectarian bloodshed between Shiites and Sunnis. The US commander in northern Iraq says that AQI is making a last stand in Mosul as violence has dropped elsewhere in the area.

KIKO the CHEETAH poops through the sunroof of a safari Land Rover. Let's go to the video.

HUNDREDS of MARINE SPECIES have been discovered in the depths of the Southern Ocean, Australian scientists said Wednesday. Video at the link, too.

A FRISKY MOOSE tried to pick up a pickup at the Windsor Institute in New Hampshire.  Pic at the link, with a click-through to a "discretion advised" pic.

MAN KILLS BEAR with a stick.

WILD TURKEY is everywhere at the Harvard Business School.  And not the fun, drinky kind, either. Video at the link.

A MOUSE bit a venomous viper to death after it was thrown into the snake's cage as a lunchtime snack.

THE PRETENDERS galloped through "Boots of Chinese Plastic" for Dave the other night. The album is streaming through the weekend via Spinner.

THE CLASH: Mick Jones talks to the AP about opening for The Who at Shea Stadium in 1982. The album is streaming through the weekend via Spinner.

I'M FROM BARCELONA is streaming their new album in full via MuchMusic.

MY MORNING JACKET frontman Jim James has been released from the hospital after being injured in a fall during a concert at the University of Iowa. Those Hawkeyes are to be avoided.

THE BEACH BOYS rehearse in 1967, including "God Only Knows" and a cover of "The Letter." Stream or download via Aquarium Drunkard.

A-HA: "Take On Me: Literal Video Version." Trust me on this.

SILVER JEWS: David Berman suggests in the Mpls. CityPages that singles are not a good thing.

NIK FREITAS does the four free songs thing for Daytrotter, one previously unreleased.

LOS CAMPESINOS! talk to Thirsty about playing a stadium in Japan, the Olympics, and more...

BRITISH SEA POWER answer five questions for Metro.

JAMIE LYNN SPEARS: Sources are denying she's preggers again, or that baby daddy Casey Aldridge knocked up another woman.

NICK NOLTE leapt from a window and grabbed a hose to fight the fire in his Malibu home Tuesday, authorities said.

JENNIFER LOPEZ talks to The Daily Beast about Scientology, breast-feeding, and a "nervous breakdown," as she calls it, that she's never publicly discussed.  The touchy profile was first spiked by Elle magazine.  J-Lo has apparently made legal threats against the website.

DAVID CROSBY turns up in the legal fight between Rob Lowe and his ex-nanny, relating her explanation as to why she only dates 'black guys.'

HOWARD STERN: Wedding pic. Ignore him; check out Beth Ostrosky's dress.

CHRISTIE BRINKLEY's cheatin ex, Peter Cook, tells Barbara Walters that he's "not the ... pervert that I've been painted to be" Friday on 20/20. Brinkley is already firing back.

CARTOON CHARACTERS are brutally killed in a controversial new art exhibition. But wait, there's more... 

THE DARK KNIGHT co-writer David Goyer tells MTV News that all of the sequel rumors are "B.S."

ANOTHER INDIANA JONES MOVIE? Kinda pushing it, aren't we?

GEORGIA, GEORGIA: Two months after invading, Russian troops have begun to dismantle their positions and retreat back to the disputed provinces in the Caucasus.  RELATED: Blogger Michael J. Totten files a dispatch from the forgotten war of Nagorno Karabakh.

AFGHANISTAN: Michael Yon reports for the NYDN: "It has become clear to me that we're losing this war. But losing doesn't mean lost."

IRAN & IRAQ after 9/11: Iran rounded up hundreds of Arabs to help the US counter al Qaeda post-9/11 after they crossed the border from Afghanistan, according to a fmr career US Foreign Service officer. OTOH, Charles "Sam" Faddis, who led a CIA team into northern Iraq following the 9/11 attacks, says the Pentagon's "endless planning and delays" foiled a chance to wipe out a band of al Qaeda leaders who were fleeing American bombs in Afghanistan, with every target of significance returning to Iran.

IRAQ: US and Iraqi commanders signed a handover agreement in Azamiyah, a Baghdad neighborhood where President Saddam Hussein hid during the final days of his regime. Foreign Minister Hoshyar Zebari says that a US-Iraq security pact was near, but hat "bold political decisions" will be needed to approve it.

MAY THE MONKEY take your order?

ASHLEE FINDLAY don't like spiders and snakes... with good reason. Neither does Jim Stafford, natch.

POSSUM CUSTODY DISPUTE turns ugly.

CAT-EATING FESTIVAL in Peru has generated fury among animal rights groups. Cat-eating is believed to be an aphrodisiac, but the Peruvians may be mistranslating.

A 7-FT BOA CONSTRICTOR turns up under the hood in Springlield. D-Oh!

CROOKED FINGERS premieres the video for "Let's Not Pretend" at the 'Gum.

AIMEE MANN does the four free songs thing for Daytrotter.

RAY LaMONTAGNE stopped by The Current for a chat and mini-set you can stream on demand via MPR.

THE FEELIES: Glenn Mercer talks to PopMatters about the band's break-up, getting ahold of their catalog, and scheduling some (more) reuinion dates for the Fall.

CALEXICO: Joey Burns talks to Glide about album themes, collaborations, and Dylan's John Wesley Harding.

THE AVETT BROTHERS: Their video for "Murder InThe City" is pretty basic, but more isn't necessary.

BIRDMONSTER gets a streaming twofer as the Worldd Cafe's "Next" artist this week.

NELLIE McKAY answers the infamous 20 questions for PopMatters.

LAMBCHOP: Kurt Wagner talks to Pitchfork about the band's new direction on its 10th album.

CAT POWER will release her Dark End of the Street EP, on Dec. 9, featuring unreleased covers culled from the Jukebox sessions, including Aretha Franklin, Sandy Denny, CCR, Otis Redding and James Carr.

HALLE BERRY is Esquire magazine's Sexiest Woman Alive.  Acceptance speech and pics at the link. Her beau Gabriel Aubry tells Usmagazine.com that they are working on having another baby. I imagine he wants to practice a lot.

BRITNEY SPEARS does the "three trashy looks that didn't make the 'Toxic' video" thing in her next video.

JOHNNY DEPP will pick up a staggering £32 million for starring in a fourth Pirates Of The Caribbean film --  the highest up-front paycheck in showbiz history.

BRADGELINA: Jolie says the birth of her fifth and sixth children has all but put the stoppers on her sex life with Brad Pitt. Can't they send the kids out with Alice and Sam the Butcher? 

MADONNA says Sarah Palin can't come to her party. Not that Palin has expressed any interest.

JIMMY KIMMEL & SARAH SILVERMAN: More reunion rumors.

WATCHMEN: A video journal for the highly-anticipated graphic novel adaptation begins at Sci-Fi Wire.  The first entry finds Billy Crudup in a motion-capture suit that would not be out of place in Tron.  ALSO: You can stream a Q&A with director Zack Snyder and Dave Gibbons via SuperheroHype. Creator Alan Moore is opposed to the adaptation, as usual.

ROSE McGOWAN, with Barabarella off the table, may star in a Linda Lovelace biopic. Which would be more interesting if it was being directed by Vincent Gallo, but no such luck.

HUGH HEFNER & HOLLY MADISON: Dunzo. Could not have seen that coming. Think it was the 54-year age gap?

THE TALIBAN have not broken ranks with al Qaeda, senior US military and intelligence sources told The Long War Journal. They have also threatened to attack polling stations and candidates during Afghanistan's second presidential election, due to be held next summer, as the lengthy and dangerous process of voter registration began yesterday.

IRAQ: The return of an Arab League mission chief this week to the organization's Baghdad office to fill a position that has been vacant since January 2007 is the latest signal that Arab countries are making a belated diplomatic comeback to the war-torn "brotherly" country. The US is preparing to hand control of Saddam Hussein's Republican Palace and swaths of the Green Zone (or International Zone) to the Iraqi Government in one of the most symbolic examples of the country's increasing sovereignty.

MOOSE on the LOOSE: Put down for public safety in Ishpeming, MI. Two calves escaped their mother's fate. Video at the link.

RABID BATS are not a good subject for show and tell.

FELINE RELAXATION TECHNIQUES: Pics at the link.

CAT-LOVING STRAIGHT SINGLE MEN: Trend or twaddle?

WILD BOARS are breeding at a huge rate in Germany and wreaking greater havoc than in any other European country by destroying crops, killing pets and even attacking people, according to a new study.