THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS have released a stop-motion clip for "With the Dark" from the forthcoming album, The Else.

NEW RELEASES:  Queens of the Stone Age, O'Death, Sarah Borges and the Broken Singles, country legend Porter Wagoner, Sonic Youth's DayDream Nation re-issue and more are streaming in full via Spinner.  Previously unseen video of the Traveling Wilburys accompanies re-issues of their two albums.  Tuatara -- another project of REM guitarist Peter Buck and Minus 5 frontman Scott McCaughey (and many more) -- release On East Of The Sun, with guest vocals from Mark Olson and Gary Louris (Jayhawks), Sufi Poet Coleman Barks, Mark Eitzel (American Music Club), Jessy Greene (Geraldine Fibbers), Dean Wareham (Luna, Dean & Britta), John Wesley Harding, Gina Sala, and Victoria Williams.  Indeed, Mark Olson releases his first solo LP (produced by Ben Vaughn), also with a guest appearance from Gary Louris.  John Doe (of X) releses his seventh solo disc, with cameos from Dan Auerbach (Black Keys), Aimee Mann, Kathleen Edwards, and Jill Sobule.  And in a similar Americana sorta vein, Blitzen Trapper, who just got off tour with the Hold Steady, release  Wild Mountain Nation, the band's third album. 

THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS:  Matador is offering two bonus options for pre-orders of the NP's Challengers LP under the label's "Buy Early, Get Now" program.

THE CONCRETES have been posting new songs at TheirSpace, including "Oh Boy and "A Whale's Heart."

MOUNTAIN GOATS mastermind John Darnielle talks to CokeMachineGlow about the upcoming album and his upcoming book for the 33 1/3 series on Black Sabbath's Master of Reality.

FEIST plays three songs off her new album, The Reminder, for the DL via AOL.  It's Twofer Tuesday and then some.

BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE:  Pitchfork has news on the Kevin Drew solo LP, due in September and apparently part of a new series.

THE ARCADE FIRE did some subliminal advertising for their album on The Price Is Right.  Video at the link.

RICHARD THOMPSON explains the title of his Sweet Warrior album to the Lexington Herald-Leader.

DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS:  NineBullets.net is streaming live takes of new songs the band is testing on the road.

THE FRENCH HOTEL at the GREYBAR HOTEL:  The heirhead told Barbara Walters in a collect call from the LA County jail that God has given her a second chance to help people with breast cancer and multiple sclerosis.  You can watch Baba Wawa explain it all on The View.  Sister Nicky and sometime bf Stavros Niarchos got preferential treatment while visiting the jail.  Tommy Chong and writer Christopher Hitchens take her side; Jamie Lee Curtis does not.  The Rev. Al Sharpton met with Sheriff Lee Baca today to discuss how the case has exposed "unfairness" in the jail system.  BTW, it costs more than ten times the normal amount to jail the celebutante.  Former Hollywood publicist Jonathan Jaxson thinks he knows why she was shaking, twitching, sweating, crying, and limp upon being sent to jail, though TMZ reports that she is taking Adderall for ADD and that she was not receiving all of her medications at Lynwood.

WHOOPI GOLDBERG is probably Rosie O'Donnell's replacement on The View, with an insider telling Star magazine Goldberg has all the right qualifications: "She also is liberal and outspoken but not crazy like Rosie was."  BTW, The View's ratings increased when O'Donnell left the show.

MADONNA reportedly halted a full-blown sex romp in a no-tell motel with John F. Kennedy Jr. because he didn't have protection.  That Madge was still legally married to Sean Penn, and JFK, Jr. had a steady girlfriend were not deal-breakers.  Soft Cell frontman Marc Almond says Madge lived in his flat with junkies and hookers when she was starting out.

EDDIE MURPHY was set to appear in court to provide a DNA test to finally clear up the mystery of whether ex-Spice Girl Mel B's baby is his Golden Child.

JENNIFER ANISTON:  British model Paul Sculfor was spotted leaving Aniston's Malibu pad on Sunday, after the two spent the previous night on the town with Posh Beckham.  The uber-reliable News of the World quotes "friends" as claiming that Sculfor was a raging cocaine fiend who snorted the drug with Kate Moss before they met Nelson Mandela, not to mention is a serial womanizer.

BRITNEY SPEARS, after weeks of secret meetings and tearful late-night discussions, is set to reunite with Fed-Ex?  Somehow, I doubt it.  VIDEO BONUS:  I'm sure it's pure coincidence that former Spears bf Justin Timberlake was throwing bits of Amy Winehouse's "Rehab" and Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy" into his live show and changing the lyrics of both to refer to a "she."

LINDSAY LOHAN is "doing great" in rehab, according to stage mom Dina, who finally decided to visit her daughter ten days into her treatment.

RICHARD DREYFUSS does not like President Bush, but he really hates Thomas Jefferson, who Dreyfuss calls "the worst person in American history. All he did was defend slavery."

MISS CONDUCT:  If rehabbed ex-Miss USA Tera Conner wants to clean up her image, she may want to avoid photo oops with pr0n queen Tera Patrick.

KATHERINE HEIGL has laid down the law to her pop-star fiancé, Josh Kelley -- keep girls off the tour bus: "If the boys in the band want to meet girls, they can go to a local bar."

JESSICA ALBA says she can't understand why actresses choose to have plastic surgery.

THE DARK KNIGHT:  Watch Christian Bale and director Chris Nolan do a presser with Chicago's Mayor Daley about making the Windy City into Gotham City over the summer.  Batman-on-film has an extra's set report.  And while Nolan says he plans to use five times the locations this time around, the movie trucks were again parked a block west of my day job yesterday.

THIS is CNN... where a reporter apparently paid off gunmen to put on a show for a story about Nigerian resistance fighters.  The reporter's former lover further claims that the reporter said it "was done in agreement with CNN and in accordance with their usual standards."

AUSTRALIA'S NEW TOP MUSLIM CLERIC got off to a controversial start yesterday, refusing to accept Osama bin Laden was responsible for the 9/11 attacks.  His stance flies in the face of bin Laden's own confession, aired in a December 2001 video.  He also said his predecessor's comments comparing scantily-clad women to "uncovered meat" who invited rape was meant only for a Muslim audience... to which the response should be, "that doesn't make it right."

al-HURRA:  The editorial director of the US taxpayer-funded, Arabic-language TV station resigned after being "professionally and personally attacked" in the media "for reasons I still don't understand."  According to news reports, the station gave airtime to Hezbollah leader Sheikh Hasan Nasrallah, Hamas leader Ismail Haniya and an al Qaeda operative, and none of the senior news managers at the station spoke Arabic at the time.  Not understanding these criticisms would probably be grounds for firing in and of itself.

THE GAZA STRIP:  Militants battling on the rooftops of Gaza fired on the Palestinian government headquarters on Monday, forcing the ministers to flee the building.  Fighting between Fatah and Hamas forces resumed over the weekend; on Sunday, two militants from the rival sides were dragged onto high-rise rooftops and thrown to their deaths.

IRAN:  A prominent Iranian-American scholar being held on spy charges here is being treated well and may be released in coming weeks, a senior Iranian official told FOX News.  Indonesia, the world's most populous Muslim nation, is holding a conference aiming to promote religious tolerance and affirming the reality of the Jewish Holocaust -- an "anti-conference of Tehran", where a December 2006 meet cast doubt on the genocide of Jews during World War II.

IRAQ:  The top US military commander for the Middle East has warned Prime Minister al-Maliki that the Iraqi government needs to make tangible political progress by next month to counter the growing tide of opposition to the war in Congress.  Moqtada al-Sadr visited top Shiite cleric ayatollah Ali al-Sistani in Najaf and both discussed the latest security and political developments in Iraq.  US military officials here are increasingly envisioning a "post-occupation" troop presence in Iraq that neither maintains current levels nor leads to a complete pullout, but aims for a smaller, longer-term force that would remain in the country for years.  The co-chairs of the Iraq Study Group said they were unsure whether the goal of pulling combat troops out of Iraq by March 2008 remains valid.  Dr. David Kilcullen, an authority on counterinsurgency appointed to advise Gen. Petraeus, is talking about recruiting more Iraqi soldiers and increasing their divisions from 11 to 20.  There's also a cautionary note: "Everybody knows that July and August are going to be bad months," said Dr. Kilcullen, reminding several company commanders and other officers that Petraeus' plus up report, expected in September, will be a target for insurgents.

DAISY the COW presumably stares unamazed as Crackling and Porkchop tap that udder in the the South-West dairy town of Harvey, Australia.  "Their relationship is very strange, but not really part of the dairy farm scene, or at least it shouldn't be," co-owner Jennifer Maughan laughed.

A HIGHWAY PATROLMAN blasted one snake while escaping a gang of them, including the rattler that bit him, in Billings MT.

WORD to the WISE:  Never bring a cottonmouth water moccasin to a bar fight.

A FROG with fluorescent purple markings and 12 kinds of dung beetles were among two dozen new species discovered in the remote plateaus of eastern Suriname.  Looks trippy, but no word on whether you can lick them.

BLUE-EYED CICADA, lovely cicada.  Child of nature, but not friend of man.

ALMOST CARNIVAL SEASON:  A dozen riders on an Arkansas roller coaster spent half an hour hanging upside down - 150 feet above the ground - after a power outage shut down the attraction.  But were they charged extra?

DUNGEN brew up an old skool psychedelic clip for "Familj" from the Tio Bitar album.  Guitarist Reine Fiske is interviewed by Stylus about the band, Swedish psychedelia, and more.

THE MEAT PUPPETS get a profile in the LA Times with a near-killer lead: "The bullet is still there in Cris Kirkwood's back, a permanent reminder of how bad it got for him..."  The piece further notes: "The simultaneous reemergence of the Meat Puppets and Dinosaur Jr. is a reminder of the remarkable output of SST Records in the 1980s, when the Lawndale-based label run by the South Bay punk band Black Flag released records by those two bands as well as Sonic Youth, the Minutemen, Flipper, Hüsker Dü and other groups that laid the groundwork for alternative rock, wearing grooves in the interstates for few rewards beyond the satisfaction of playing."

ROBBIE FULKS expertly wields the parodic skewer and the music theory on "Fountains of Wayne Hotline."

THE WHITE STRIPES:  Jack White talked to the New York Times about a number of topics, including the importance of smoke and mirrors.

THE BLACK KEYS -- the "down-and-dirty duo from Akron, Ohio" -- got a recent audio segment on NPR's All Things Considered, along with links to their DC gig last November.

RICHARD THOMPSON:  The Denver Post talks to the guitar master and cheery raconteur behind the dark song catalog.

JIMI HENDRIX and the ROLLING STONES celebrate Jimi's last birthday backstage at Madison Square Garden in NYC on November 27, 1969.  The soundtrack includes "My Little One," featuring Jimi, Brian Jones, Dave Mason and Mitch Mitchell.

RUFUS WAINWRIGHT talks to Newsday about the "kind of fast-paced, spitfire delivery of life that I seem to have right now, where I'm doing 12 projects, living in Manhattan, jet-setting around..."  You can stream his two-hour performance from New York's Gramercy Theater from Saturday night now via NPR.

LESLIE FEIST tells the Washington Post that she may decide to become ambitious someday.

MASON JENNINGS talked to Heather Browne about inspiring art, fatherhood, the impact of the Internet and more, plus embedded audio and video.

GREAT LAKES SWIMMERS brought their "sweetly rustic, warmly melancholic folk-pop" to the World Cafe last Friday; you can stream their gig now via NPR.

JEFF TWEEDY reviews the Uncle Tupelo and Wilco discographies with Harp magazine.

THE FRENCH HOTEL at the GREYBAR HOTEL:  The heirhead was "teetering on the brink" in the medical ward at Twin Towers, an L.A. County jail facility, refusing to eat or sleep -- perhaps from fear that someone would photograph her on the toilet, possibly with a cellphone hidden in a very intimate place.   Her condition improved over the weekend, perhaps under threat of being transferred to the mental ward.

GEORGE MICHAEL, otoh, will not serve any jail time after pleading guilty last month to driving while under the influence of drugs.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE:  Ocean's 13 led with 37 million -- slightly less than the openings of the first two in the series -- but will probably still do well world wide.  Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End dropped 52% to second place; it has made 714 million on a 300 million budget worldwide, two-thirds of that outside the US.  Knocked Up came in third, dropping only 34%; it has already made 66 million in the US on a 30 million budget.  Surf's Up debuted in fourth with 18 million -- surprisingly good reviews may not overcome penguin fatigue here.  Shrek the Third suffered a 44% drop to round out the Top Five, though it as made almost twice its 160 million budget worldwide.  Hostel, Pt. II opened in the sixth slot with 8 million (less than half the original's opening); good thing the budget was only about ten million.  Mr. Brooks dropped 50% in its second week, though it will end up making money on its 20 million budget.  Spider-Man 3 sild 40%, from fifth to eighth, though (again) it's going to make significant bucks worldwide.  Waitress dropped only 18% to go from sixth to ninth; it has made 12 million to date.  Disturbia again clings to the tenth slot on a 50% drop, having made over 77 million in the US on a 20 million budget.

RESSE & RYAN BREAK-UPDATE:  Speculation over the romance between Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon is heating up after the duo were spotted leaving a doctor's surgery for the second time in as many weeks - sparking talk she may be pregnant.

XTINA AGUILERA, everyone's favorite dirrty girl, made a visit to a maternity doctor on Thursday - sparking talk that she may be pregnant, too.

LINDSAY LOHAN has allegedly asked pals to smuggle sleeping pills into rehab, according to the ever-reliable National Enquirer.  Insiders allegedly tell the Star that Lindsay's first four days were spent in detox, ridding her body of alcohol, cocaine, Percocet, Vicodin and other meds.  He ex-bodyguard is planning a tell-all book on Lohan, filled with tales of ten-hour cocaine binges, frenzied lesbian romps with scores of girls, suicide attempts and more.  Should the link at the uber-reliable News of the World change, you should be able to find it here.  (Yes, she's the kind of a girl that makes the News of the World.)  Meanwhile, stage mom Dina took ten days to visit her daughter in rehab, and has not bothered to show for custody hearings.

BRADGELINA:  Jolie has been officially approved as a member of the Council on Foreign Relations, which no doubt delights her, as she does not want to be remembered as an actress.

GREY'S ANATOMY:  Katherine Heigl and T.R. Knight have been invited back for a fourth season, but Isaiah Washington  has been shown the door after his anti-gay slur.  Washington's bizzare, yet official response was to quote Howard Beale: "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more."

SIENNA MILLER denies she is a slut.  Of course, if you have to make a Nixonian denial, chances are you'e already in trouble.

PAULA ABDUL:  Her new Bravo reality show is being called "train-wreck-tastic," a portrait of a needy celebrity who, in the lap of pampering, constantly believes herself to be mistreated by those around her.

SAMMY DAVIS, JR. is the subject of not one, but four biopics currently in development.  For now, you can watch him dance with James Brown or working the crowd for an MDA telethon.

TERROR in the US:  The investigation into the terror plot to bomb JFK Airport is widening beyond the four men in custody, with more suspects sought outside the US, a law enforcement official said Friday.  In Trinidada, the Jamaat al Muslimeen group denies ties to the plot.

AUSTRALIA'S TOP MUSLIM CLERIC, who complained about long sentences for gang rape and compared immodestly dressed women to uncovered meat, suggesting they invited sexual assault, and who was creating "The Australian Peace Party," has reportedly stepped down from the honorary title, though it's unclear as to whether he jumped or was pushed.

IRAN:  Anti-terrorist officers and MI6 are now investigating a British-based plot allegedly to supply Iran with material for use in a nuclear weapons program.  Meanwhile, satellite imagery links Iran to the attack in Karbala, Iraq which resulted in five US soldiers killed.

IRAQ:  The NYT/IHT rounds up US efforts to arm Sunni groups like the Anbar Salvation Council, even as rumors fly that the Anbar group may be evolving or dissolving.  US military officials say they are making progress in negotiating with tribal leaders in Diyala province.  The tribes around Tikrit -- Saddam's home area -- refuse to join the Salahuddin Salvation Council.  The Iraqi gov't is reportedly close to agreement on 80% of insurgents' requests in ongoing negotiations.  Iraq's leading political blocs agreed to replace the speaker of Parliament, a Sunni, after hearing accusations that his bodyguards assaulted a Shiite lawmaker.  Al Qaeda in Iraq has stepped up its bombing campaign nationwide against the Iraqi security forces.  Michael Yon has another photo-filled dispatch while embedded with the Brits in southern Iraq.

A TERRIFIED GAMEKEEPER had a lucky escape after he managed to sprint to safety from a charging hippopotamus.

POLICE DOGS have been sacked for lewd behavior in Thailand.

A DEER survives being hit by cars and shot by police... only to throw itself from the top of a parking garage in Lancaster, PA.

HE KILLED WEE WEE?  A man accused of fatally shooting a beloved pet goose named Wee Wee faces three misdemeanor charges in Yuba County, California.

A RACCOON took down the power grid in parts of Houston, TX.  But I think we all suspect the hand of the squirrels behind the scenes.

THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE:

...with THE PIPETTES!  I just got back from seeing them play a packed house at the Empty Bottle in Chicago (previewed by Jim DeRogatis for the Sun-Times) and boy, are my arms tired!  That's because the lovely lasses from Brighton want you to finger-wag, clap your hands  and wave your arms in the 90 degree heat, just like they do... and if you can give the proper shout-outs in various songs so much the better, as they really feed off a crowd.   They opened with a new song, which I would guess is called "You Won't Forget Me," but it wasn't very long before they pulled out "Your Kisses Are Wasted on Me" much like this clip from  the Black Cat in DC.  Sometimes they seemed more excited about their new material, but they did really cook on crowd faves like "Dirty Mind" and the climactic "Pull Shapes" (like these clips from Lee's Palace in Toronto, but hotter and sweatier, with the crowd yelling, "What will you do when the music stops?").  The encore was "We Are the Pipettes," which is likely the first song you would hear streaming from their website.  BONUS:  What you see above is Gwenno, Rosay and Becki out of their signature polka-dots playing "Your Kisses Are Wasted On Me" unplugged at the CMJ offices in NYC.

PLUS:  The second band on the bill was the tween indie sister act Smoosh, so I'm tossing in their catchy "Find A Way," as well as their live cover of Bloc Party's "This Modern Life," so you can see they have their even younger sister sit in on bass for a couple of numbers. You can also stream a few at SmooshSpace.  Monster Bobby, the ladies' guitarist and collaborator, was third on the bill, with songs like "Let's Check Into the Hospital Together," and "One Moonlit Night" (which featured an Elvis sample singing backup).  BTW, I let Gwenno and Becki stand in front of me to catch the end of Smoosh's set, just as Asya was standing nearby to see the end of the Pipettes' set.  Also, when Smoosh plays soccer at the end of the "Find A Way" clip, that's not just for show -- it's also what they were doing around the corner when I showed up to the Empty Bottle.  FYI, I didn't interrupt, as it would have seemed just too darn creepy.  And I can confirm the Wikipedia entry stating that the Pipettes' drummer plays court musician Thomas Tallis on Showtime's The Tudors.

DANIEL JOHNSTON talked to Glide magazine about his current work and the documentary The Devil and Daniel Johnston, which has turned up on cable recently.

I'M FROM BARCELONA:  The 28-member Swedish band is streaming a song about Britney Spears.

INSTANT KARMA:  The John Lennon tribute disc for Darfur is due next week, but you can stream it now via VH1.

FOUNTAINS of WAYNE co-founder and songwriter Adam Schlesinger is asked by Eye Weekly: "What is it about power-pop that seems to appeal exclusively to neurotic 20- and 30-something white guys?"

THE LEGION of ROCK STARS listen to classic rock and pop songs on 30dB noise-blocking headsets, play along, and record the results.

THE SMASHING PUMPKINS played a "secret" gig in Germany Tuesday night that included a a question and answer session.  When asked why he chose the German word Zeitgeist for the band's new album, Billy Corgan replied, "Because the word Hasselhoff was taken."

DAVE DEE, DOZY, BEAKY, MICK & TICH play "Hold Tight" on a carnival-themed set for Top of the Pops.  And it is almost carnival season...

THE ROSEBUDS did an interview and mini-set at the World Cafe, which you can stream via NPR.

WHY THE HIPSTER MUST DIE, according to TimeOut New York.

KEREN ANN talks to the Boston papers about her eclectic songwriting and her nomadic lifestyle.  You can hear some of the former streaming at HerSpace; I'm partial to the Velvet-y "Lay Your Head Down."

PETE TOWNSHEND talks to France's Metro about his songs (old and new) and the artists and bands he's digging now.

THE CUTOUT BIN:  This Friday's fortuitous finds on the ol' HM are: The Beach Boys - All Summer Long; Free - All Right Now; The Hues Corporation - Rock the Boat; The Pretenders - Talk of theTown; Old 97's - Question; Blondie - Heart of Glass; Cheap Trick - Oh, Candy; Stevie Nicks - Edge Of Seventeen; The Go! Team - Huddle Formation; Pavement - Cut Your Hair; Beck - Devil's Haircut; The Breeders - Cannonball; Yo La Tengo - Big Day Coming; The Beach Boys - The Warmth of the Sun; Locksley - The Past And The Present; Meat Loaf - You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth (Hot Summer Night); Cream - White Room; Electric Light Orchestra - Roll Over Beethoven; and The Beach Boys - Good Vibrations.

BRITNEY SPEARS is dating her drug counselor?  They both deny it, but Fed-Ex insists they're dating and her mother is thrilled the two are supposedly seeing each other, according to the ever-reliable National Enquirer.

THE FRENCH HOTEL may be ordered back to the Graybar Hotel.  Hours after she was sent home under house arrest Thursday for an undisclosed medical condition, the judge who put her in jail for violating her reckless-driving probation ordered her into court Friday morning to decide if she should go back behind bars.  UPDATE:  Someone got all weepy being hauled to the courthouse in handcuffs!  UPDATE:  Go to jail.  Go directly to jail.  Do not pass "go."  Do not collect 200 dollars.  The Associated Press brings the drama.

NOW SHOWING:  This weekend's wide releases are: the summer's fourth threequel, Ocean's 13, currently scoring 75 percent on the ol' Tomatometer; the can-we-have more-penguins animated flick Surf's Up, scoring 77 percent (albeit on 13 reviews) and Eli Roth's Hostel, Pt. II, scoring 86 percent (albeit on six reviews).

BRADGELINA:  Jolie tells Marie Claire magazine how Pitt gets her out of her reserved shell: "I don't know how he does it, but...I talk a lot in the bath. It's easier to talk when you're naked...Get naked with me, and I'll talk!"  As it happens, Jolie was in town last night for an Ocean's 13 premiere, so I was sorely tempted to test that theory... but I already had tickets for the Pipettes.

GEORGE CLOONEY sympathizes with young Tinseltown's train-wrecks:  "If I were as famous as some of those kids who are on the magazines right now at 21 years old, I'd be shooting crack under my eyeball..."

JENNIFER ANISTON will be thrilled to learn that everyone notices her new beau's resemblance to her ex, Brad Pitt.  An Aniston friend says that Jen "is dating a bunch of guys" and hasn't settled on Mr. Right quite yet.

MAKING THE SHINING:  A 1-2-3-4 part behind-the-scenes documentary shot by Vivian Kubrick (daughter of Stanley).  And there are spoilers.  Plus the kid talking about what he's getting paid, and Jack Nicholson being Jack Nicholson (yet seeming more sane than Shelley Duvall).  BONUS:  I cannot help but re-link to the Shining trailer remix.

THE McCARTNEYS:  Sir Paul talks about not talking about his divorce on Good Morning America.  Video at the link, too.

ROSIE O'DONNELL:  New NBC programming chief Ben Silverman is telling friends he will do anything to get O'Donnell onto the network, and not just in daytime. Silverman is talking to O'Donnell about hosting a prime-time game show he has up his sleeve as well as a daytime hour a la The View.  Of course, it's easy to say you'll do "anything" for Rosie when you know she won't be interested in having sex with you.

DENISE & HEATHER & RICHIE & CHARLIE:  Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora entered an undisclosed treatment facility on Wednesday, a rep for the band tod People magazine.

PIRATES:  Slate's Explainer separates fact from fiction.

GRADUATION SPEECH:  Mike Philbrick of ESPN has composed an address of nothing but quotes from sports movies.  Just don't tell Baz Luhrmann.

THE SOPRAN-OHS:  As the historic series draws to a close Sunday, it's worth watching a few minutes of "ohs," "heys" and -- of course -- assorted bits of profanity.

GLOBAL WARMING:  Greenland -- the biggest island in the world -- is a wind-raked place, gripped by ice over four-fifths of its land, prowled by polar bears, its coastlines choked by drifting icebergs and sea ice. Many of its 56,000 people, who live on the fringes of its giant ice cap, see the effects of global warming -- and cheer it on.  BTW, for those freaking over the nearly 11 degree rise in average temperature there from 1991-2003, it should be noted -- as Freeman Dyson has: "The effect of carbon dioxide is more important where the air is dry, and air is usually dry only where it is cold. The warming mainly occurs where air is cold and dry, mainly in the arctic rather than in the tropics, mainly in winter rather than in summer, and mainly at night rather than in daytime..."

INDIA:  A caste of farmers and shepherds went on a rampage throughout northern India in support of their demand to be reclassified as the lowest of the low, so they can get government jobs and university spots reserved for such groups.

IRAN:  According to ABCNews, NATO officials say they have caught Iran red-handed, shipping heavy arms, C4 explosives and advanced roadside bombs to the Taliban for use against NATO forces in Afghanistan, in what the officials say is a dramatic escalation of Iran's proxy war against the US and Great Britain.

IRAQ:  IraqSlogger looks at conflicting reports in the Iraqi media regarding both Turkish incursions into the Kurdish north and the state of the opposition bloc former Prime Minister Allawi is trying to form.  While the US has called on Turkey to not invade northern Iraq, recurring limited incidents of hot pursuit of PKK terrorists are unlikely to draw opposition from the US, or from Baghdad for that matter.  The first Iraqi police academy in Anbar province has opened; it's in Habbaniyah, where former Marine Gene Blanton blogs the return of Sheikh Khamis and a meeting at the city's "neighborhood watch" center.  Michael Yon forwards an e-mail about the situation in Hit from LTC Doug Crissman, who arrested the once-heroic Gen. Hamid there.  The North Shore Journal blog has graphs of US and terrorist deaths this year that you probably won't see anywhere else.

...AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT:  A cat that uses a fork, spoon, and chopsticks to eat.

PET HOARDING:  This time, it's more than 100 pet rats, dozens of rabbits and other animals including several birds, seized from the home of an 81-year-old woman in L.A.

GONNA NEED A BIGGER MARRIAGE:  Frank Maloney, his cousin Ed and friend Chuck "Tuna" Meyer caught a 9-foot bull shark, weighing over 600 pounds, after a three-hour struggle... but the real struggle is with Frank's wife, who is a card-carrying member of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

PEPPER the PIT BULL saved her family.  For now, anyway.

DOGS:  New research is adding to the growing evidence that man's best friend thinks a lot more than many humans have believed.

CHIZ-WHIZ, the world's most famous chinchilla, has died in his Plymouth home at the age of 21.  Yeah, I had no idea who he was either; he was the public face of the globally-known Chinchilla Chat Line website.  Yeah, I had no idea about that, either.

LOU REED joined BRIGHT EYES for a cover of the Velvet Underground's "I'm Waiting For The Man" at NYC's Town Hall on May 25th.  Here's a longer, alternate take with less distorted sound, but further away.

FROM a WHISTLE to a SCREAM:  Yuppie Punk lists the the ten wettest whistles in rock history, while Paste magazine lists the best screams in rock history.

HALLELUJAH THE HILLS co-founder Ryan Walsh is interviewed by author Jami Attenberg at Largehearted Boy.  Guess I'm not the first to notice the GbV vibe, but Walsh says HtH is usually more sober live: "Bob & GBV stumbled upon some kind of blissful, fulfilling relationship between alcohol and live performance that has not been replicated since. It looks like a lot of fun but I feel like 99/100 bands who try it come off terribly."  You can stream a few from their debut at TheirSpace.

LISTEN... to what the Flower People say: "I'm sick of stepping over gangs of kids, only to be told 'Die, yuppie!'"

TV on the RADIO:  Pitchfork has the B-side from the upcoming single, "Dumb Animal," streaming in the Forkcast.

SEEN YOUR VIDEO:  The original Byrds perform "Turn! Turn! Turn!" on a TV show that must remain nameless.

PHIL SPECTOR TRIAL UPDATE:  The coroner who conducted Lana Clarkson's autopsy stuck to his conclusion that the actress' death was a homicide, saying that e-mails written by Clarkson did not change his opinion.  The jury has been shown autopsy photos showing that Clarkson's hand lacked blood spatters typical of a self-inflicted gunshot.  A former lawyer for Spector could be cited for contempt after she refused to testify Wednesday that she saw defense expert Henry Lee take part of Clarkson's acrylic fingernail from the crime scene.

SMASHING PUMPKINS: Culture Bully has posted new songs played at last weekend's Rock AM Ring festival, held in Nürburg, Germany.  You can jukebox 'em via the ol' HM.

SQUEEZE:  Glenn Tilbrook tells Billboard that the upcoming reunion tour is "gonna be quite a lot more visual" than anything they've done before, but not to expect anything past the tour. 

YEASAYER is building blog buzz, starting with the seminal Said the Gramophone, and spreading to Culture Bully, An Aquarium Drunkard and GvsB.  The pick-to-click "2080" and "Sunrise" have elements of art rock and world music that have people reaching for references like Peter Gabriel and Roxy Music.

THE FRENCH HOTEL in the GREYBAR HOTEL:  The jailed heirhead has been has been crying on the phone, saying she's not sleeping or eating, and complaining that her cell is "freezing cold."  All this, even though her fellow inmates seem to be playing nice and deputies have rolled out the red carpet and extended VIP courtesies, including skipping the cavity search.  This may make those deputies among the few left in LA County to have not given her a cavity search.  UPDATE:  TMZ claims that she DID have to undergo a cavity search as part of the booking process at the jail.  Did the cops wear their spelunking gear?  BONUS:  The NY Post has a downloadable postcard you can send to the prison.  And the LA Times has "The Paris Hilton Prison Diaries," by John Kenney.  UPDATE:  TMZ is claiming that the heirhead has been sprung from jail and that the L.A. County Sheriff's Dept. will hold a news conference this morning to discuss what went down.  UPDATE:  She has been fitted for an ankle bracelet and reassigned to house arrest, after authorities determined to release her from prison due to... wait for it... medical reasons!  UPDATE:  The official explanation is available for download.  UPDATE:  The Rev. Al Sharpton and even the ladies on The View are on the warpath.  UPDATE:  Law enforcement sources tell TMZ the celebutante's medical condition was purely psychological and that she was in peril of having a nervous breakdown.  UPDATE:  Sources close to the Hilton family told ET the medical reason was actually an extreme rash she developed on her body.  UPDATE:  The release is condemned by L.A. City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo and L.A. County Supervisor Don Knabe.

GIRLS GONE WILD founder (and former Hilton beau) Joe Francis, otoh, is voluntarily keeping himself behind bars in a Reno jail -- so he won't have to face another round of charges in Florida.  Besides, he probably likes the view of the train... oh, wait, that's Folsom.

MAD MEL UPDATE:  Mel Gibson reportedly walked into an AA meeting near his Malibu home, stumbled over a row of seats and crash-landed atop them, with a source telling the ever-reliable National Enquirer's Mike Walker: "He looked so out of it."

JESSICA SIMPSON and JOHN MAYER are "definitely over, " a source close to Mayer tells People magazine, though a a Simpson source says, who knows what the future will hold."  The story suggests they split on Sunday, though Simpson wasn't looking good Friday, and was seen checking out ex-beau Adam Levine's Maroon 5 last Saturday.

BRITNEY SPEARS reportedly threw a butter knife at a stage manager's head at the House of Blues... but has apparently fallen far enough that she got weepy when the manager threatened to make sure she was barred from the Hob and other venues.  Meanwhile, the Malibu mansion she shared with Fed-Ex isn't selling, due to their trashtastic taste in decorating.

GEORGE CLOONEY, BRAD PITT & MATT DAMON, promoting Ocean's 13, stopped by Grauman's Chinese Theater in Hollywood with producer Jerry Weintraub to immortalize their hand and footprints in cement.  Clooney quipped: "If I had to be on my hands and knees with three other guys, it would be them. And I mean that in every possible way."

LINDSAY LOHAN:  Mom Dina Lohan has worked for Entertainment Tonight and is trying to get her own reality TV show, but who is so desperate as to falsely claim that she was a Radio City Music Hall Rockette?

CUBA GOODING, JR. may have saved a shooting victim's life on Memorial Day, outside Roscoe's House of Chicken 'n' Waffles in L.A.

PAULA ABDUL:  Defamer previews the upcoming Bravo reality series, Hey, Paula!!!, "in which the American Idol judge unscrews the top of her head and allows the world an opportunity to climb inside and stroll around the church-parking-lot-quality carnival that is her mind."

STEVE MARTIN will be sharing memories of child abuse and Elvis Presley in his upcoming autobiography.

PETER O'TOOLE is playing Pope Paul III on the second season of  Showtime's The Tudors.

LIV TYLER kissed KATE BOSWORTH on the lips... and not for a movie, but just because she's friendly.

GLOBAL WARMING = More Kittens!

WAR REPORTING:  Robert Haddick, a former US Marine Corps infantry company commander and staff officer, argues that the days of the neutral war correspondent, objectively reporting from the front, are quickly coming to an end.  Which may be optimistic.

OUR FRIENDS, THE SAUDIS:  As a woman in the male-dominated kingdom, LA Times reporter Megan Stack quietly fumed beneath her abaya. Even beyond its borders, her experience taints her perception of the sexes.

IRAQ:  US forces have begun conducting joint patrols with Sunni resistance fighters in the Sunni enclave of Amiriyah where a group of local leaders have banded together to fight al-Qaeda.  OTOH, there are reports that one of the major Sunni groups in the Amiriyah fight, the Islamic Army in Iraq, has reached a ceasefire deal with al-Qaeda.  In Najaf, three gunmen in a speeding automobile shot and killed a junior aide to Iraq's pre-eminent Shiite Muslim cleric, Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani.  Bill Roggio notes that a recent NYT story claiming the "surge" is falling short may turn out to be as wrong as the Washington Post story last Fall claiming that Anbar province was hopeless.  JD Johannes has random observations, including: (a) more of the grunts are reenlisting than he expected; and (b) US rewards for tips were lower than what al-Sadr's Mahdi militia and al-Qaeda in Iraq pay.

SPRINKLE -- a 1-year-old white Chihuahua -- considers Bindi -- a 2-week-old black kitten -- her new puppy.

CANE TOADS should be forced into cannibalism to control their population explosion in northern Australia, according to the latest research.

SEVEN PEACOCKS get the death penalty, after a neighbor of Britain's Paignton Zoo complained about the noise they made.

THE SQUIRREL THREAT:  The AP headlines a story "'Critters' blamed for missing U.S. flags," but the only kind of "critter" actually mentioned in the story is the squirrel.  This is your politically-correct media at work.

LITTLE GODZILLA, a two-foot, four-inch long Nile crocodile, escaped from its cage and swam away during a publicity show on a Ukrainian beach.

LIONS and TIGERS and... Oh My!  We don't even get to the bears.

THE POLYPHONIC SPREE has released a video-less video for "Running Away" from the upcoming LP The Fragile Army, featuring over 70K still photos from a ten-day tour.

THE DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS' long out-of-print live disc, Alabama A** Whuppin', is streaming at NineBullets.net.

ELVIS PERKINS tells London's Guardian -- among other things -- that being named Elvis gave him "an apprehension of dealing with people, because there was no way of getting off on the right foot."

WILCO apparently felt a need to explain their involvement in the the new Volkswagen ad campaign.

THE CLIENTELE frontman Alasdair MacLean tells ChartAttack that the new God Save The Clientele is influenced by "the kind of music I used to love before I became snobbish or had musical taste" -- bubblegum pop like The Monkees and The Banana Splits.  Actually, that influence is pretty subtle, as you'll hear if you stream the whole thing from Merge Records.  I would pick mid-period Kinks and The Thrills as more likely references.

ROBERT POLLARD has confirmed two more albums -- Standard Gargoyle Decisions and Coast to Coast Carpet of Love --will both drop Oct. 9th.  But wait...there's more!  Pollard is starting a year-long singles club via robertpollard.net.

RYAN ADAMS, possibly the only dude as prolific as Pollard, is plotting a multi-disc boxed set of odds-and-ends from his extensive back catalog, according to Billboard.  You can see him play the new "Everybody Knows" and the old "Magnolia Mountain" at Amazon.

SON VOLT mastermind Jay Farrar tells Richmond's Daily Press that the latest album, The Search, draws "from from what would be considered 'Rock 101' sources - The Beatles and The Rolling Stones."  Told that the horns on "The Picture" recall those on The Stones' "B*tch," he applauds the recognition. "We actually were doing that song live for a while," he says.

LILY ALLEN claims her new lifestyle of constant touring has prompted an unhealthy love of booze and that she is heading for an early death.

AMY WINEHOUSE had a screaming bust-up with new hubby Blake Fielder-Civil after being booed at the MTV Movie Awards.  Shocka!

ELENI MANDELL is interviewed by the San Francisco Chronicle about her latest album, Miracle of Five, the crazy dance parties at her house, and more.  You can stream the mini-set she played for The Current last week via MPR.

OKKERVIL RIVER frontman Will Scheff thanks Pitchfork for noticing his more confident singing on the band's upcoming album.  I don't know how he would take Frank's comment at Chromewaves, though I think it's a similar compliment.

LINDSAY LOHAN is still in rehab, but those risque party photos featuring a knife-wielding Li-Lo may put a crimp in the future career of ex-MTV infobabe Vanessa Minnillo.  Meanwhile, E!'s Daily 10 co-host Debbie Matenopoulos blasted a possible reality TV show featuring Mom Dina Lohan -- apparently not knowing that the show would air on the E! channel.

BRITNEY SPEARS saved an elderly couple from a jellyfish-infested beach during her Mexico vacation.  So perhaps it's good karma that her Mom cancelled today's scheduled appearance on The View.

BEYONCE KNOWLES and JAY-Z are reportedly engaged and planning to marry in Hawaii in the autumn.

SASHA BARON COHEN and ISLA FISHER are expecting a baby this winter, a source close to the couple confirms.

THE KATE HUDSON-CHRIS ROBINSON BREAK-UPDATE is now the Kate Hudson-Owen Wilson Break-Update.

BRADGELINA are planning another addition to the rainbow family - this time an orphan boy from the Czech Republic.

TOM-KAT UPDATE:  Holmes's vaguely Stepford-esque performance on Entertainment Tonight is now available for online viewing.  The accompanying text even quotes Holmes on Cruise's reaction to the kissing scenes in her upcoming movie: "I'm on the set when he's working, he's on the set when I'm working, and we're working," she says. "It's not a big deal -- it's a part of the job."  Really?  Having your spouse on-set is part of the job?  Which job is that?

LARRY & LAURIE DAVID are dunzo, which will allow Larry to resume normal toilet-paper consumption.

JON-BENET RAMSEY'S FATHER and NATALEE HOLLOWAY'S MOTHER have been caught canoodling in Mountain Brook, Ala.  Ew.

GIRLS GONE WILD founder Joe Francis is out of the frying pan in Nevada; the fire awaits him in Florida.

THE FRENCH HOTEL in the GREYBAR HOTEL, Day Two:  I forgot to link to the fab statement the heirhead put out upon entering the clink on her probation violation: "In the future, I plan on taking more of an active role in the decisions I make..."

THE BATTLE of MIDWAY ran from June 4-6, 1942, but 15 minutes changed the world.

ISRAEL:  A former Israel Broadcasting Authority news editor admits: "We slanted the news towards a withdrawal from Lebanon - because we had sons there."

IRAN:  Half the country's population of 70 million is aged under 30, there is high unemployment and many young Iranians complain they cannot afford to get married or buy a house.  So Iran's hardline interior minister has ignited controversy by promoting temporary marriage as a way of countering a perceived increase in illegal extra- and pre-marital sex.  The Shia Muslim tradition of temporary marriage, or sigheh, allows a man and a woman in Iran to marry for a set period of time, ranging from an hour to 99 years.

IRAQ:  Moqtada al-Sadr rejected direct talks with the US, threatened a new uprising and revealed that he fears the US will kill him.  ITM's Omar Fadhil reports al-Sadr returned from Iran strong enough to summon seven Iraqi governors to meet him and listen to his instructions about how they should run their respective provinces in central and southern Iraq at the same time his militia was fighting the police forces of at least one of those provinces.  The Islamic Army in Iraq sought to turn popular opinion against Al-Qaeda and its umbrella group, the Islamic State of Iraq, at least since last September, during a series of meetings with influential Saudi clerics known for their not-so-covert backing of Iraqi insurgent groups.  Muslim scholars, including Sunnis, Shiites and Kurdish leaders, announced the establishment of an Islamic union aimed at stopping bloodshed and sectarian violence in Iraq.  Voices of Iraq reports that Parliament voted to approve a decision that gives it the upper hand in deciding any future extension of foreign troops in Iraq, though -- as with the last such vote -- it's not clear this will ever be binding legislation.  US troops detained four suspected insurgents, including an insurgent cell leader believed to have been moving bombs from Iran and militants to Iran, during raids in northeast Baghdad on Tuesday morning.

TIGERS and CHICKS are friends... for now... at Zhejiang Wenling Zoo in Taizhou City, China.

FORGET TUMS or PEPCID:  A man in southeast China says 40 years of swallowing tree frogs and rats live has helped him avoid tummy ache.

AN ESCAPED KANGAROO that surprised residents as it bounded through rural central Indiana during the weekend died Monday after authorities used a tranquilizer dart to capture it.

AN OSTRICH lost his lawsuit claiming three German teenagers made him impotent with their festive firecrackers.

COWS stare unamazed as University of Arkansas scientists get a real-time look at their stomach contents through 4-inch tubes implanted in their sides.