THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE:

...with THE YARDBIRDS! Live circa 1967, featuring someone the announcer calls "Timmy Page."  Your setlist inlcudes "Shapes of Things," "Happenings Ten Years Time Ago," "Over Under Sideways Down," and "I'm a Man."

BOAT stopped by Oregon Public Broadcasting for a chat and mini-set in audio and video, including a musical allusion to GbV's "Motor Away." Sloppy pop from Seattle. Friends with Tullycraft.

SOLID GOLD did the four free songs thing for Daytrotter, including a cover of Chris Issak's "Wicked Game."

PERRO DEL MAR and TAKEN BY TREES stopped by Morning Becomes Eclectic for a twin bill.

LAURA VEIRS stopped by The Current for a chat and mini-set.

WILD BEASTS also stopped by The Current for a chat and mini-set.

JAWBREAKER: Captain's Dead has a collection of odds and sods, including deconstructions of the Psychedelic Furs' "Into You Like a Train," REM's "Pretty Persuasion" and U2's "With or Without You" (which actually turns into another 80s classic).

ELLIOT SMITH: Kill Rock Stars is offering two free downloads from their reissues of his first and last full albums.

FUNKADELIC: "I Got a Thing" on Upbeat in 1970. The intro and outro are almost as good as the song.

BEACH HOUSE is profiled by The Irish Times.

THE TEN MOST DOWNLOADED SONGS FROM iTUNES: Read 'em and weep.

PANDORA is coming to TiVo.

YOU COULDN'T IGNORE ME IF YOU TRIED: I heard the author of this book about The Brat Pack, John Hughes, And Their Impact on a Generation, and it sounded interesting.  The promo site will hook you up with videos from the youth films of the 80s.

WILCO (The Sandwich Shop).

THE CUTOUT BIN: From Duane Eddy to Echo & the Bunnymen, from the Jesus & Mary Chain to the Jackson 5, from Howlin' Wolf to Big Country, plus the Dead Kennedys, Jimmy Soul, the Damned, Herb Alpert and more -- this weekend's fortuitous finds are streaming from the Pate page at the ol' HM.

NOW SHOWING: This weekend's wide releases are Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, currently scoring 57 percent on the ol' Tomatometer; and Brooklyn's Finest, which is scoring 33 percent.

ALICE in WONDERLAND: Against my better judgment, I ventured to the advance screening, solely as a courtesy to you, the reader.  And while Tim Burton was eminently well-suited to breathe life into the work of Lewis Carroll (and even moreso Sir John Tenniel), I found Burton's re-imagining of this material as a battle quest in the vein of Tolkien/Narnia ultimately unimaginitive.  Johnny Depp does his thing well enough as the Mad Hatter, though I enjoyed Helena Bonham Carter's Red Queen more, and Anne Hathaway's White Queen much less.  Not a bad movie, and sure to do well.  But I cannot help thinking it a missed opportunity.

THE OSCARS: Predictions from Roger Ebert and many, many more.

TIGER WOODS: Elin has agreed to move home with Tiger, according to RadarOnline.

JOHNNY DEPP's longtime gal pal reportedly asked him to quit a film with Angelina Jolie.

LINDSAY LOHAN and BOY GEORGE exchanged beauty secrets in London.

HEIDI MONTAG's plastic surgeon refuses to perform any more work on her.

BRITNEY SPEARS' boyfriend hates her music.

THE SHADOW may be headed back to the big screen.

PAKISTAN intelligence has detained Mullah Omar's son-in-law, the fmr chief administrator of the Taliban.

AFGHANISTAN: US forces who pushed the Taliban out of their main stronghold in Marjah, southern Afghanistan, have found residents there deeply sceptical of the Afghan government's promises to rebuild.

IRAQ: Despite various warnings of an increase in violence before Iraq's March 7, 2010 parliamentary elections, the latest casualty counts do not show a significant increase in deaths.

MARU the BOX CAT has a brand new bag.

BENGAL TIGERS have a pool party.

POLAR BEAR & CUB trapped on a melting ice floe. But they'll probably be OK.

A HEN and PUPPIES, living together... Mass hysteria!

OK GO goes Rube Goldberg in the video for "This Too Shall Pass." 

SxSW: There's a streaming mix of 100 picks to click from festival artists at NPR.

PHANTOGRAM stopped by The Current for a chat and mini-set streaming via MPR.

ALEC OUNSWORTH also stopped by The Current for a chat and mini-set streaming via MPR.

ALL SONGS CONSIDERED: Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings, Owen Pallett, The White Stripes, Joanna Newsom and more are featured in the latest installment of the long-running series.

ALLISON MOORER stops by the World Cafe for a chat and mini-set.

FOALS have some beautiful cinematography in the video for the slow-building "Spanish Sahara."

PAVEMENT: Stephen Malkmus talks to Chuck Klosterman at GQ.

PETER GABRIEL has scratched backs, but others are slow to scratch his.

TITUS ANDRONICUS: Patrick Stickles talks to the Village Voice about The Monitor album... and the USS Monitor.

LIVE AID: 95 per cent of the millions intended for victims of the 1984 famine was diverted to anti-government rebel leaders - including the current Ethiopian Prime Minister, according to former rebel compatriots of Meles Zenawi. (Given that the Marxist gov't was trying to starve the opposition, this story would not surprise me. And it probably does not surprise Geldof or Bono.)

CHARLIE SHEEN and Brooke Mueller have had multiple sex partners together in the short time that they have been married, according to RadarOnline. One source estimates that they have shared as many as 10 partners - some male and some female. Giving an extra dimension to "Two and a Half Men."

NAOMI CAMPBELL was on the lam Tuesday night after cops said she beat up her driver in a Manhattan meltdown. But by Tuesday evening, the magnitude of the incident had been downgraded: the police said they were no longer interested in speaking with Ms. Campbell and considered the matter closed. No charges were filed.

SACHA BARON COHEN's Oscars skit has been cut, to avoid crushing the delicate feelings of Avatar director James Cameron.

MEGAN FOX does not go for one-night stands.

ROGER EBERT debuted his new robot voice on Oprah.

THE HURT LOCKER is under fire for being unrealistic and too realistic.

GILLIGAN'S ISLAND is headed to the big screen. One hopes it will be less than a three hour tour.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER is being developed for Tim Burton.

IRAN announced plans to test a prototype of the Qassed 2 laser-guided bomb.  Italian police have arrested seven people, including alleged Iranian secret service agents, on suspicion of supplying military equipment to Tehran in violation of international sanctions.

IRAQ: Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani, Iraq's senior Shiite spiritual leader, has repeatedly refused to endorse any of the electoral coalitions fighting for votes among the country's Shiite majority.

KNUTS! An animal rights group called on Tuesday for Knut the polar bear, who shot to global stardom as a cub in 2007, to be castrated to avert incest with his cousin.

AN ERRANT EMU in El Paso snarled rush hour traffic near Interstate 10 on Tuesday morning and attacked deputies trying to restrain it.

ICE, the Super-Husky. Aw.

A BABY TAPIR debuts at the San Diego Zoo. Double Awww...

MEYER HAWTHORNE: "I Wish it Would Rain" is not the Temptations classic, but I'm pretty sure he knows about it.

THE MORNING BENDERS are advance streaming the Big Echo album.

TITUS ANDRONICUS is advance streaming The Monitor album.

LAURA VEIRS played a Tiny Desk Concert at the offices of NPR.

ANDREW W.K. did the four free songs thing for Daytrotter, all previously unreleased jams.

GORILLAZ are not a fave of mine, but the clip for "Stylo" features a surprise cameo.

SURFER BLOOD: John Paul Pitts tells Prefix he does not want to become Brian Wilson or Rivers Cuomo.

PITCHFORK REVIEW RATINGS: A statistical study from Part-Time Music (Thx, LHB.)

THE ROCK & ROLL HALL of FAME prepares to open a library and archives on Cuyahoga Community College's Metropolitan Campus, two miles away from the hall itself.

THE CULT of the iPOD: The Atlantic predicts its death.

CHARLIE SHEEN: A woman who slept with Charlie and wife Brooke Mueller at the same time is about to come forward and tell her story, according to RadarOnline.

RANDY QUAID and his wife were back in court on Monday to appear for a preliminary hearing on their individual felony charges of defrauding an innkeeper.

CHYNNA PHILLIPS filed for divorce from Billy Baldwin on Friday -- but then had a dramatic change of heart Sunday. So, how's that anxiety rehab working out?

BRITTANY MURPHY left her entire estate to her mother in a handwritten will made years before she married.

JESSICA SIMPSON finally opening up about John Mayer's raunchy Playboy mag comments.

LADY GaGa says she is currently single and celibate.

SIMON COWELL's engagement is more than rumor now.

O.J. SIMPSON will likely be rejected by the Smithsonian.

AFGHANISTAN: The government may have a hard time getting Marja to stop growing opium poppies.

PAKISTAN: The US government has decided to establish a Quick Reaction Force for the protection of its diplomatic missions in Pakistan. Meanwhile, a Pakistani court has restrained the government from extraditing Afghan Taliban leaders recently detained by its intelligence services to any other country, raising the prospects of a new row between Kabul and Islamabad.

IRAQ: Across the country, voters are reaping a windfall as candidates in Sunday's parliamentary elections offer gifts like heating oil and rice.

CAT vs BALLOON: Let's go to the video.

SPANGLED PERCH rain down on the remote Australian desert town of Lajamanu.

WILD GOAT CHASE for police in Odessa, TX.

FOX vs. HENHOUSE: Who you got?

COWS fatally trampled a farmer after being spooked by a fire engine. The firefighter has been arrested on suspicion of manslaughter.

TOM "T-BONE" WOLK, who played bass for nearly 30 years with Daryl Hall and John Oates, led the SNL band from 1986-92, and recorded with Elvis Costello, Billy Joel and many more, died Saturday (Feb. 27) of an apparent heart attack. H & O have issued official statements, natch. You can see Wolk in the video for "Private Eyes," though he wasn't with H & O when it was recorded. But it's definitely Wolk with the signature line on "Maneater" to complete your Twofer Tuesday.

NEW RELEASES: Rogue Wave, Shooter Jennings, Besnard Lakes, and more are streaming this week via Spinner.

GORILLAZ are advance streaming the Plastic Beach album.

BROKEN BELLS are advance streaming their self-titled debut.

LIGHTSPEED CHAMPION has an interview plus tracks from Weekend Edition Sunday.

GRACE POTTER & THE NOCTURNALS deliver a crunchy cover of the Jefferson Airplane's "White Rabbit," to get us ready for Tim Burton's Alice this weekend.

THE ROLLING STONES forthcoming reissue of Exile On Main St will reportedly include 10 previously unheard songs.  As a complement to the release of Exile on Main Street, a documentary, "Stones in Exile," has just been completed for fans to view on US Network television and through BBC Worldwide internationally -- including ten minutes from that bootleg documentary with the NSFW name.

THE VELVET UNDERGROUND: John Cale has ruled out any possibility of any reunion, due to bad memories and the death of guitarist Sterling Morrison.

LAURA VEIRS talks to the Chicago Tribune about the recording of her July Flame album.

MIDNIGHT OIL: Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd demoted his Environment Minister, former rock star Peter Garrett, on Friday as his government faces an election year slide in opinion polls over a bungled home insulation scheme. How can they sleep while their roofs are burning?

CHARLIE SHEEN's wife Brooke Mueller wants a divorce after his court case for domestic violence is over, according to RadarOnline.

TOM-KAT UPDATE: Holmes has been undergoing intense Scientology "auditing" - sparking rumors that she's "being prepared" for her second baby with high-priest husband.

MARCIA, MARCIA, MARCIA... The feud between Maureen McCormick and Eve Plumb has been raging for years and caused the cancelation of a televised Brady reunion planned for this week, according to RadarOnline.

MICHAEL DOUGLAS -- and his family matters -- are featured at Vanity Fair.

SHARON OSBOURNE writes that the cult of celebrity is destroying today's children.

JESSICA SIMPSON: Sharing words of wisdom on the Twitter.

MATT. DAMON. and PAUL GREENGRASS seem to be bailing on Bourne.

IRAN: Russia's president said Moscow was ready to consider new sanctions on Iran for its nuclear defiance and the chief of the IAEA warned that he cannot confirm that all of Tehran's atomic activities are peaceful. Shocka.

IRAQ: Prime Minister al-Maliki's office denied an arrest order was signed for Muqtada al Sadr upon his return from Afghanistan.

PAKISTAN: Significant leaders of the Pakistani Taliban have been killed or captured in an onslaught of frontier ground and air attacks, according to a Pakistani general.

AFGHANISTAN: As Sahab released a posthumous videotape of Abu Dujanah al Khurasani, the al-Qaeda operative who carried out the suicide attack against the CIA at Combat Outpost Chapman in Khost province.

TORTOISE vs TOMATO: Let's go to the video.

A WEDDING ELEPHANT trampled 20 limos trying to reach an in-heat female in a nearby sugar cane field in the Indian capital New Delhi.

BRITISH DOG OWNERS may be forced to pass a test before they can own any pooch under a planned clampdown on dangerous animals... like Yorkies.

MOZART, the iguana whose penis was surgically removed after he got a permanent erection, is back with his girlfriends and enjoying a healthy sex life again.

SHANE MacGOWAN & FRIENDS (including Johnny Depp, Chrissie Hynde, Nick Cave, Primal Screamer Bobby Gillespie, the Clash's Mick Jones, Glen Matlock, Paloma Faith, and Eliza Doolittle) cover "I Put a Spell on You" for Haiti relief.

PRINCE gave a new song, "Cause and Effect," to The Current, just because. I don't think he's been quite this pop since the 80s.

JOHNNY CASH got a birthday feature on Fresh Air.

SPOON stopped by the World Cafe for a chat and mini-set.

STEPHIN MERRITT had a pre-Magnetic Fields band called The Zinnias -- and the music is out there.

FRIGHTENED RABBIT is also streaming The Winter of Mixed Drinks via NPR.

VAMPIRE WEEKEND talk to The Obaerver about topping the charts, battles of the bands, day jobs, etc.  They also perform "White Sky" unplugged.

JOANNA NEWSOM talks to the Wall Street Journal about the themes and secrecy surrounding her new triple-LP.

PATTERSON HOOD talks to DCist about the Drive-By Truckers documentary, The Secret to a Happy Ending.

CHARLOTTE GAINSBOURG talks to the London Evening Standard about how three difficult years resulted in her IRM album.

CARLY SIMON may or may not have revealed the subject of "You're So Vain."

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE: Shutter Island repeats at No.1 with 22 million.  However, the Scorsese flick drops 46 percent, perhaps due to competition from the better-than-expected remake of The Crazies, which landed in the No. 3 spot with 16.5 million.  Sandwiched between them in the No. 2 slot was the debut of Cop Out, which made 18.6 million.  Despite poor reviews, this is Kevin Smith's biggest opening, and the best for Bruce Willis since Live Free or Die Hard.  Cop Out had a budget budget -- 30 million -- so this will likely turn out well for those involved.  Avatar plugs away in the No. 4 slot, making another 14 million on top of the gajillion it's already made worldwide. Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief rounds out the Top Five with 9.8 million -- its last clear shot at the family market before Tim Burton brings Alice in Wonderland this week.  Overall, the box office is way up over last year.

CHARLIE SHEEN: Ex Denise Richards may be a witness for the prosecution.

MARIE OSMOND's son Michael Blosil leapt to his death Friday night in Los Angeles.  His suicide note showed sadness, which is very Royal Tenenbaums.

ANDREW KOENIG got a nice memorial from his colleagues at FakeRadio,net. (Thx, Lance.)

BRITTANY MURPHY's husband is furious over a published report that claims the actress obtained a prescription for 120 hydrocodone pills just 11 days before her death - and only 11 pills were left in the bottle.

CHYNNA PHILLLIPS has checked out of the facility where she was being treated for anxiety.

PAULA ABDUL has decided against doing Dancing With the Stars, but is still in talks with Simon Cowell about joining his upcoming "X Factor" show.

VARIETY killed a bad review for a movie advertised on and promoted by Variety.

AFGHANISTAN: Behind the combat troops and military trainers, alongside the aid workers and agriculture experts, come the lawyers.

IRAN: How the mullocracy is getting its hands on nuclear equipment.

IRAQ: Impressions of the election from Basra.

LLAMAS are digging the snow in Oregon.

A RUSSIAN CHIMP has been sent to rehab by zookeepers to cure the smoking and beer-drinking habits he has picked up.

THE 15 CUTEST ANIMALS in the world that could kill you.

THE GREAT PYTHON HUNT: Python season starts this weekend in Florida.

COWS make lousy house guests, an Arkansas woman learns.