THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE: 

...with THE BAND!  The Last Waltz, billed as a "farewell" concert after 16 years of touring, found The Band joined by special guests, including Eric Clapton, Neil Diamond, Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchell, Van Morrison, Ringo Starr, Muddy Waters, Dr. John, and Neil Young.  Last week, at Glide magazine's Hidden Track blog, Ace Cowboy celebrated the 31st anniversary of the show by collecting 18 Tubed clips from Martin Scorsese's 1978 documentary, which features concert performances, scenes shot on a studio soundstage and interviews by Scorsese with members of The Band.  Surprisingly, the Wikipedia entry for the show is pretty good place to start for more background on the concert and the movie.

LEVON HELM, who did not care much for the movie, and who recently released his first solo record in over 25 years, has been hosting "Midnight Rambles" at his place in Woodstock, NY since 2004, to help defray his medical costs upon recovering from throat cancer.  Helm's band plays a number of these gigs, but there are special guests: "You never know who's going to show up!"  A review of a recent Ramble at JamBase pointed me toward a Finnish indie roots-rock combo, Eero Raittinen and the Noisy Kind of Men -- Eero, it turns out is 60, while the others are much younger.  His "friends" include John Hammond, Barrance Whitfield, the White Stripes, Los Lobos, James Hunter and the Fabulous Thunderbirds.  An even more recent Ramble incvluded The Felice Brothers, who grew up in Palenville, about 20 minutes' drive from Woodstock, and have drawn critical acclaim for the Americana sound of their debut album, as well as a profile in London's Guardian.

BEST of 2007:  Harp magazine's Top 50 is discussed at the 'Gum.

SHARON JONES and the DAP-KINGS:  Ms. Jones and Gabriel "Bosco Mann" Roth, co-founder of Daptone Records and bass player for The Dap-Kings, have an interview, songs and remixes from Fresh Air streaming on demand via NPR.

MORRISSEY plans to sue the NME after it failed to apologize for an article focusing on his views on immigration, much of which is reprinted in the Telegraph.  There's more backstory -- and the NME cover -- at Drowned In Sound.

QUEEN releases its first new recording in 10 years today and that it will be available for free on its website.

HOW THE 'NET KILLED THE MUSIC BIZ?  Wired magazine's profile of Universal Music Group CEO Doug Morris has New York magazine's Vulture blog shocked at the tech illiteracy of the industry moguls.  At the HuffPo, fmr Reprise Records pres. Howie Klein tries to explain that cluelessness was based on "expert" opinion.

JOE JACKSON digs us!  Actually, Jackson likely has no knowledge of Pate's existence.  But we got nice e-mail from his people, who must be on top of their Internet game to notice we mentioned his upcoming album, Rain, yesterday.  And because flattery will get you everywhere, Friday seems like a good day to watch Joe Jackson & William Shatner cover Pulp's "Common People," with Ben Folds on keyboards.

JOHN FOGERTY talks to Pitchfork and the Mpls. Star-Tribune about his latest album, Revival, and the the state of the world.  He has also penned a piece on reclaiming his voice for Newsweek.

MIDNIGHT OIL: Former frontman Peter Garrett continued his long, strange tour from pop star to politician Thursday when he was named Australia's environment minister.  Garrett made his first foray into politics with an unsuccessful bid for the Senate as a member of the Nuclear Disarmament Party in 1984.  He was elected to Parliament in 2002 and enjoyed a meteoric rise through the Labor Party ranks, being immediately appointed as an opposition spokesman on the arts and Aboriginal affairs.  Yet the move is widely considered a demotion for Garrett, who served as the opposition spokesman for both the environment and climate change prior to Saturday's election.

THE REDWALLS did a session at Daytrotter; sadly, none of the songs are new.  But I feel slightly guilty about not writing more about a local (to Chicago) treasure.

EMI's new management is considering cutting its contributions to the IFPI and RIAA as wasteful spending.  At a conference all for investors, Warner Music Group had "no comment" on whether they would follow EMI.  The Financial Times claims that this could same the major labels money, but "would also saddle each company with greater responsibility to lobby regulators and police pirates, among other crucial tasks."  That's not entirely true; the  majors could wake up and decide that better talent, marketing and technology are better solutions to their ills than the coercion of the law.

CREEM magazine is paid tribute in a new book featuring work from Lester Bangs, Nick Tosches, Dave Marsh, Dave DiMartino, Ben Edmonds, Chuck Eddy and the young Cameron Crowe.  The book spawned a lawsuit and a fight at the launch party.

CUTOUT BIN:  This Friday's fortuitous finds from the ol' HM are: Sam Spence & John Facenda - November; Big Star - Thank You Friends; Sly & The Family Stone - Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin); The Beatles - '63 Fan Club Xmas 45; Bob Dylan - The Man In Me; The Redwalls - Build A Bridge; Mott The Hoople - All The Young Dudes; Belle And Sebastian - White Collar Boy; Art Brut - Emily Kane; Ben Folds - In Between Days (Cure); Dinosaur Jr. - Just Like Heaven (Cure); Apostle of Hustle - I Want A New Drug (H. Lewis - sorta); Dean and Britta - Words You Used To Say; The Velvet Underground - Train Round The Bend; Cat Power - I Found A Reason (Velvet Underground); Nico - I'll Keep It With Mine; The Raveonettes - The Beat Dies (new); Diana Ross & The Supremes - Stoned Love; Spoon - You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb; Soft Cell - Tainted Love; Eric Burdon & The Animals - Spill The Wine; Percy Mayfield - Right On, Young Americans; Neil Diamond - Solitary Man; Richard Hawley - Long Black Train; Blondie - Union City Blues; Tommy Keene - Places That Are Gone;  Drug Rug - Day I Die; Jimi Hendrix - Purple Haze; and Led Zeppelin - Whole Lotta Love.

BRITNEY SPEARS currently pays 15k in monthly support, but the pop tart may have to pony up more now that Fed-Ex has primary custody of their two sons.  BTW, a new kids' Christmas poll has Spears and the French Hotel beating the Grinch on the "naughty" list.

NOW SHOWING:  This weekend's only new wide release at the cineplex is the psychological thriller Awake, which stars Jessica Alba and Hayden Christensen, which has not been screened widely for critics.  Ouch.

ANDY GARCIA hailed his niece's slain boyfriend, NFL star Sean Taylor, as a ''free safety until the end'' who showed bravery in the last moments of his life to protect his family.

JESSICA SIMPSON seems to have visited the trout pout shop again.

GYLLENSPOON joined the Mile High Club?  The pair allegedly spent more than ten-minutes together inside an airplane bathroom during a trip from Frankfurt, Germany, to Los Angeles.

JOHN TRAVOLTA was spotted in a cheap Koreatown men's spa in L.A. that has been overrun by a slew of gay men cruising in the steam room and clay room, according to the uber-reliable L.A. Rag Mag.

TOM-KAT UPDATE:  Cruise hits the snooze button at Germany's Bambi Awards.

ELLE MACPHERSON was... wait for it... caught canoodling BRYAN ADAMS at a private party in Bryan's London home on Tuesday night after the launch of his new photo exhibition.

PAM ANDERSON is talking retirement: "Five more years of (T&A), and I'll go back to Canada," the British Columbia native says. "I've got some land. It'll be time."

BRADGELINA:  Pitt has vowed not to film any more nude scenes - because he doesn't want his kids to see them.  He's also looking toward retirement: "I figure I've got very few films left. Who knows how many I'll get to do now, so I want to do something I'm interested in. Otherwise, I don't want to bother. I think it's a younger person's game."

GWYNETH PALTROW & CHRIS MARTIN:  Rumors of marital woes are "absolutely not true," according to Paltrow's rep.

TARA REID -- having gone from American cutie pie to boozy floozy -- is hosting a 'Hookers Ball' in Darwin, Australia this weekend.

KIM KARDASHIAN:  The police reportedly don't believe her claim that a thief stole 50K worth of valuables while she was being mobbed by fans at JFK airport.

DEBBIE GIBSON had some work done, and now looks like Owen Wilson.

ANGELA KINSEY of The Office blogs that she probably won't do a lot of press during her pregnancy, but she will be doing  yoga with costar Jenna Fisher, who is still recovering from her back injury this past summer.

NATALIE PORTMAN did an exclusive "screentest" for the launch of the NYT's new T magazine.  As it's Friday, I recommend taking a drink every time Portman says "like."

ADRIANA LIMA's lingerie fitter has the best job ever?  Possibly, if you don't have to wear what he's wearing, which is so weird that I noticed it in a picture of Adriana Lima being fitted for lingerie.  Yes, it's Gratuitous Friday.

TEDDY BEAR JIHAD:  British teacher Gillian Gibbons has been convicted of inciting religious hatred for letting her pupils name a teddy bear Muhammad and sentenced to 15 days in prison and deportation from Sudan.  Sudan's top clerics had called for the full measure of the law to be used against Mrs Gibbons and labelled her actions part of a Western plot against Islam.

PAKISTAN's security forces claim to have regained control of Imam Dehri and other militant strongholds in the Swat valley in the country's North-West Frontier Province.  Other reports suggest that intensified military operations over the past 10 days in the Swat Valley have not yielded any significant results... and that General Ashfaq Parvez Kiani, who took over from Musharraf on Wednesday, may be okay with that.

IRAQ:  Shia and Sunni religious leaders met in Najaf Tuesday to discuss peace and unity in Iraq.  Two car bombs have been found hidden on the premises of the Baghdad office of Adnan al-Dulaimi, one of Iraq's top Sunni leaders, a senior Iraqi military official said on Thursday.  Bill Roggio looks at US military strategy in the northern provinces.  The White House denied that the US seeks permanent military bases in Iraq, days after the US "war czar" said that would be part of talks next year on long-term security ties.

BEACH BOAR:  Babe spends his days strolling on the beach of a private island in the Bahamas, swimming in the sea, eating hot dogs and drinking beer.

A ROGUE CROCODILE which escaped from a travelling circus six months ago has been recaptured in the Ukraine.

SICK RAMS and DONKEYS:  The Hittites' weapons of mass destruction.

A MOUNTAIN LION perched in a backyard tree near Crafton Elementary School in east Redlands, CA was tranquilized by authorities.  Ironically, the school's mascot is a cougar.

A PARROT with a Brooklyn accent may be worth ten grand.