PITCHFORK.TV is online (and not crashing under the traffic now), featuring The Thermals, Radihead, Man Man, The Pixies and more this week...

KELLEY STOLTZ brings his classic pop to not four, but five free songs for Daytrotter, drawn from his past two LPs.

THE NATIONAL is the subject of a film, "A Skin, A Night," by Vincent Moon (La Blogotheque) coming to DVD on May 20th and packaged with a bonus cd, The Virginia EP.  Watch the trailer.

THE EELS:  Mark Everett stopped by The Current for a chat and mini-set you can stream on demand via MPR.

MUSIC FESTIVALS:  The Chicago Tribune notes the fests defy the music industry's troubles, while other music promoters grumble.

R.E.M. turned up on the Colbert Report last week; you can watch the interview and the performance via Red Lasso.  Remember, what's good for GM is good for R.E.M.  ALSO:  At Hitsville, critic Bill Wyman notes that Rolling Stone's reviews of their last four records have all been "comeback"-themed.  Nice allusion to Jane Austen's Emma also.

CARBON/SILICON:  Mick Jones (The Clash, B.A.D.) and Tony James (Generation X) played the World Cafe, so you can stream the whole gig on demand via NPR.

THE ROLLING STONES are taking questions at YouTube.  Paste has suggestions for questions you might ask.

MY MORNING JACKET frontman Jim James gives a video preview of five tracks from the band's upcoming Evil Urges album at Rolling Stone.

PETE DOHERTY has been sentenced to 14 weeks in jail for violating a probation order.  NME cited a court spokesman as saying Doherty had used different kinds of drugs, breached "time keeping," and generally not complied with his probation.

TOM-KAT UPDATE: Cruise's Nazi assassination plot film Valkyrie gets knocked to Presidents' Weekend, 2009.  Which is also Valentine's Day weekend.  Because nothing says romance like Nazis.  Or maybe the thing stinks like a whorehouse at low tide.  BONUS:  The latest target of Cruise's legal team?  Randy Jones, the original Village People cowboy.

BEYONCE & JAY-Z:  Buzz is building that this weekend's quickie nuptials were actually a shotgun wedding.

PATRICK SWAYZE has had an "excellent" response to treatment for pancreatic cancer, the actor and his doctor said Tuesday.

JESSICA SIMPSON gives her webcam a workout for the benefit of bf Tony Romo, according to the ever-reliable Star magazine.

THE FRENCH HOTEL in Africa:  'If I bought a cheetah, would it run away from me or could I keep it?'"  I don't know, sheetheat; how about an Oompa-Loompa?

LINDSAY LOHAN offered to do the full monty as a nymphomaniac waitress in the indie film "Florence," for which she is being paid a mere 75K.  The producers declined.  Also, Li-Lo has been slapped with a 55K lawsuit by a man who claims the actress never paid him while he was her bodyguard.

GEORGE CLOONEY chills out with Elle Macpherson, Thandie Newton, Clooney, Natasha McElhone, Helena Bonham Carter and Mariella Frostrup.  It's good to be George Clooney.

ROB LOWE, who accused a former nanny of trying to extort 1.5 million from him and his wife, went a step further on Monday, filing three separate lawsuits against two of his former nannies and his former chef - whom he claims had sex on Lowe's bed "with third parties" and stole prescription drugs.  Lowe has posted an article on The Huffington Post condemning the ex-nanny.

MISCHA BARTON will accept a plea deal in her DUI case, sparing her any jail time, according to People magazine.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON plays sexy nurse Silk N. Floss in Frank Miller's adaptation of The Spirit.  This may be the only pic left online.  Can you beat the lawyers?

STAR TREK:  You can watch the entire original series, thanks to the fine folks at CBS.  Khaaaaan!

IRAN has begun installing 6000 new centrifuges at its uranium enrichment plant in Natanz, state television quoted Pres. Ahmadinejad as saying Tuesday.  Ahmadinejad also accused the US of using the 9/11 attacks as a "pretext" to launch invasions and cast doubt on the accepted version of the terror strikes.

IRAQ:  Moqtada al-Sadr canceled his protest march he scheduled for Tuesday in the streets of Baghdad.  Regarding disbanding the Mahdi Army, al-Sadr's spokesman says on the one hand that al-Sadr has consulted with Iraq's Shiite clerical leadership "and they refused that," but did not provide details of the talks.  OTOH, he also denied that al-Sadr had referred the dissolution of al-Mahdi army to Shiite clerics, describing reports in this regard as inaccurate.  MIchael J. Totten covers reconstruction efforts by the US Marines in Fallujah.  Pres. Bush awarded the Medal of Honor to Navy SEAL Michael A. Monsoor, who was killed in 2006 when he threw himself on a grenade in Iraq to save his comrades.

SNOWFLAKE (a/k/a FLOCKE) the polar bear cub made her public debut at the Nuremburg Zoo.  More awww...some pics at the link.

CIRCLES the DUCK has received an order of protection to keep it safe after being shot and wounded by a neighbor with a pellet gun.

MISSING ELEPHANT found in Carbondale, IL.  Due to the size, the elephant was transported back to the Murphysboro Police Department by Express Towing.

WILD TURKEYS attack postal workers in Madison, WI.

BEACH DONKEY BINGO:  A donkey code of practice is being brought in to stop anyone over 50.8kg (8st) from riding the animals amid growing fears that Britain's 850 donkeys are buckling under the weight of heavier children and putting their health at risk.