THIS TIME FOR SURE!

A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS airs tonight o­n ABC.

THE EARLIES: Canada's Globe and Mail thinks the band sounds like "the Beatles / Beach Boys matchup that never happened." It's also a bit electronic, so a Flaming Lips reference wouldn't hurt, either. These Were The Earlies, a US comp of selections off the band's first five EPs, is getting high marks at Metacritic, so you may want to listen for yourself at MySpace.

AMERICAN ANALOG SET frontman Andrew Kenny talks to PopMatters about "romance, science, football, melodicas, and more." You can stream or download a few older AmAnSet songs from My Space.

BONO has asked the Pope to rewrite all religious hymns, because they are too saccharine. Or he could just, y'know, require U2 be played at Mass.

SEASON OF THE LIST: Indie Interviews (which has a cool podcast, btw) lists its Top Ten Albums of 2005, with a bonus list from Michael Bravata of the Dallas area Rockwall Herald-Banner. Stylus begins day o­ne of its Top 50 singles list with a boffo intro: "We understand: you love the list, you hate the list; you love to hate the list..."

THE VILLAGE VOICE BLUES: Robert Christgau reviews Buddy Guy live as well as Rhino's deluxe edition of 1972's Buddy Guy & Junior Wells Play the Blues and T-Bone Walker's The Best of the Black & White and Imperial Years.

IN THE YEAR 2525: If Man is still alive...

IRON & WINE/CALEXICO: Brooklyn Vegan points you to where you can stream or download their sets from Nov. 30. And Frank at Chromewaves is killing music this week with a live cover of the Velvet Underground's "All Tomorrow's Parties."

BECK has four unreleased tracks streaming from the boombox at his recently-redesigned website. Some of it is pretty good stuff, too.

GARY GLITTER is called a "lying monster' by his 12-year-old-accuser. Vietnamese authorities are getting an assist from a British pedophile hunter in investigating the charges against the ex-glam rocker.

THE MINUS 5: Scott McCaughey will be joined be Decemberists and even more members of Wilco for a self-titled album due in February.

WOLF PARADE talks to Pitchfork about the band's encounter with Illinois' wretched tollway system. But you'll be more interested in what the band says about Keith Moon, the Marquis de Sade and Lindsay Lohan.

PETE DOHERTY-KATE MOSS UPDATE: The troubled singer expects to go to jail this time.

JESSICA SIMPSON gets o­n with life post-Nick by putting her junk in a trunk and visiting the trout pout shop.

HEATHER LOCKLEAR and RICHIE SAMBORA are having marital woes. If you read the item, you'll se that my name is not mentioned; I don't know how these rumors get going.

TOM-KAT UPDATE: The Tom-Kat o­nline wedding registry at Needless-Markup may have been a hoax, but what about the o­ne under Cruise's real name, with a ewedding date of July 6, 2006?

VAUGHNISTON: Even Aniston's Bruce Almighty co-star Jim Carrey is getting tired of the soap opera: "She's never not o­n a magazine. There is not a magazine o­n earth without Jennifer Aniston o­n it. (In) Popular Mechanics, she's got a wrench, she's going into a store." Aniston's lawyers are sending out a warning to the media not to buy photos from a paparazzo who took telephoto pictures of Jennifer Aniston sunbathing topless at her Southern California home. Allegedly.

HARRY POTTER has pretty decent taste in music.

X-MEN 3 will probably be wrecked by new director Brett Ratner, but seeing Frasier Crane as The Beast is a hoot.

BRADGELINA: No doubt Jolie does not like being shot by paparazzi in the grocery store, but she's clever enough to let Maddox let them know how she feels.

SCARLETT JOHANNSON looks at her face and disagrees with those who think she looks feminine. (third item)

REESE WITHERSPOON tells us what was in June Carter Cash's closets. And PETA won't like it.

CHARLIZE THERON may be the next Bond girl, which would help cleanse the palate of Aeon Flux.

FELICITY HUFFMAN became attached to the prosthetic penis she wore in new movie Transamerica. William H. Macy became nervous.

BRITNEY reportedly dialing D-I-V-O-R-C-E for a lawyer, while her mom urges her to chill.

IRAQ: You probably know that an Iraqi court has begun hearing testimony of mass arrests and torture at Saddam Hussein's trial, but you may be interested in the reaction of Iraqi bloggers like Mohammed. Bill Roggio blogs (with pics) o­n patrols protecting the Haditha Dam, which is capable of supplying Iraq with o­ne-third of its power needs. The AP reports Iraqi Vice President Ghazi al-Yawer's comments about the army and other forces being used to settle scores. There are some problems with the Iraqi forces -- even Defense Secretary Rumsfeld admits it. But the AP story simply repeating al-Yawer's charge -- without noting that al-Yawer is a political opponent of the Interior Minister about a week away from the election (thus having at least a motive to exaggerate), or that the US recognizes the problem, is probably an example of why Rumsfeld was out criticizing coverage of the war. Meanwhile, the Washington Post reports that the Democratic foreign-policy elite has stark differences -- and significant vagueness -- regarding a viable alternative to the current course of action.

IRAN has rejected a Russian proposal to resolve a nuclear standoff with the West, and it dismays the French Foreign Minister that Iran is acting "in a way... unilaterally." Actually, Iran isacting unilaterally, as opposed to the similar claim France made about the US, which acted against Iraq with a number of other countries.

IF A COUNTRY HELD A VOTE, but with a boycott by the minority and low turnout, how would the Associated Press report it? It depends o­n the country. In Iraq, the AP warned before the January election and the constitutional referendum, that Sunni Arab rejectionism would undermine the legitimacy of the vote. In Venezuela, where five major opposition parties pulled out of the parliamentary elections over concerns of vote fraud, the AP reported a big victory for Hugo Chavez, not bothering to mention the 25 percent turnout reported even by al-Jazeera. That's compared to a 58 and 65 percent turnout in Iraq in January and October, respectively. But for some reason, those opposing Chavez in Venezuela do not rate the same respectful coverage given to former Baathists in Iraq.

CAFFEINE may reduce the risk of serious liver damage in people who drink too much alcohol. Just sayin', Pate fans.

NANOTECH: A Princeton University scientist and his colleagues are proposing turning a central concept of nanotechnology -- self-assembly -- o­n its head. They illustrated their technique by considering thin films of particles. Thin films are a specialty of Pate frontman Jon Pratt.

A STRANGE NEW CARNIVORE spotted o­n Borneo is the target of environmental researchers.

MUMMY CAT is elected school mascot in Utah.  Pics at the link.

KANGAROOS fear the sound of their own feet. Which is a good enough excuse to point you to NSFW kangaroo video.

ENDANGERED TIGER, recovering from surgery that saved her after she was shot in the head by poachers, is threatened again, this time by a toxic benzene slick headed toward the Amur River after an explosion upriver at a chemical factory in China.

HAIRLESS PETS, from the late Sam (World's Ugliest Dog) to guinea pigs and chickens -- photo gallery at the link. No sign of Mr. Bigglesworth.

BELLE & SEBASTIAN: What's that I'm listening to? It's the new Belle & Sebastian, freely downloadable from Matador records.

JENNY LEWIS of Rilo Kiley is profiled in Harp magazine in advance of her solo album, Rabbit Fur Coat, which is due in January.

THE HIVES' Howlin' Pelle Almqvist has a "List of Music You Should Hear" up at Amazon, ranging from the new Richard Hawley album to the best of John Lee Hooker.

SEASON OF THE LIST: Traveler's Diagram has a Top 25 of 2005 posted. And CokeMachineGlow has a listravaganza with great lists like "Top 8 Songs from Mediocre 2005 Albums," "Top 30 'Other' Albums of the '90s" and "Top 10 Nonsense Michael Stipe Lyrics From Early R.E.M. Songs."

SONY XCP CD DEBACLE: In response to Sony's recall of CDs with the PC security-threatening copy-protection scheme, Amazon has been proactive, but other retailers not so much. This may change o­nce it gets around that New York Attorney General Eliot Spitzer dispatched investigators who, disguised as customers, were able to purchase affected CDs in New York music retail outlets.

FILESHARING: In an untirely unrelated story, a report by Jupiter Research suggests European consumers who download music from illegal file-sharing websites vastly outnumber those using legal services.

JENS LEKMAN draws comparisons to Stephin Merritt, Morrissey, Jonathan Richman and Belle and Sebastian o­n the Pitchfork. You can check him out with legal MP3s via My Old Kentucky Blog and the Secretly Canadian label.

NEUTRAL MILK HOTEL: It appears that NMH mastermind Jeff Magnum left cassettes of demos behind when he moved out of o­ne of his college pads. So it was o­nly a matter of time before they landed o­nline.

CHRIS CORNELL of Audioslave and Soundgarden is demanding that his ex-wife, ex-manager give him his money back. And don't forget to give him back his black T-shirt...

DANIEL JOHNSON has been hospitalized in Waller, TX, probably for lithium poisoning.

DESTROYER -- fronted by New Pornographer Dan Bejar -- is working overtime to finish an album for February 2006.

TOE-STUBBER: Music that makes you go "ow!" And not in that good Godfather of Soul way, either.

PETE DOHERTY-KATE MOSS UPDATE: The shamed supermodel has dumped the troubled singer again, after learning he skipped out o­n rehab. And it looks like Moss won't be the o­nly o­ne singing "Fairytale of New York" with the Pogues this holiday season.

BRADGELINA: Pitt and Jolie barred non-Japanese media from their press conference to promote Mr. & Mrs. Smith. But in the age of the Internet, it was o­nly a matter of time before people translated the Japanese stories and even posted the video. And watching that video makes me think that there might be something goin' o­n between those two.

MITZVAHPALOOZA: Tabloid Baby has exclusive photos from the star-studded bat mitzvah staged by multi-millionaire defense contractor David H. Brooks, as noted here yesterday. They did cause me to wonder whether anyone should invite Don Henley to a bat mitzvah... SEMI-RELATED: The story causes Amber Taylor to ask the eternal question: Springsteen or Petty? The answer, of course, is Presley.

BRITNEY SPEARS and husband Cletus have transformed their baby's bedroom into a nativity scene.

JULIA ROBERTS tops The Hollywood Reporter list of bigtime actresses, despite the fact that she wasn't in any movies this year. High School + Money = Hollywood.

COLIN FARRELL is almost a porn star, as former Playboy Playmate Nicole Narain feels confident she and the Internet Commerce Group will beat back the injunction Farrell obtained against the release of the video he made with Narain.

PINK has been signed to a Janis Joplin biopic to be directed by Penelope Spheeris.

THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE The kid stars and director chat with the Daily Mail.

JESSICA ALBA is asked stupid questions in Entertainment Weekly, to good effect: "So do you ever wake up, look in the mirror, and say, 'Holy crap! There's a totally hot chick staring right at me!' and then realize, 'Oh, It's just me'?"

GARFLECK: With Jennifer Garner's bun almost out of the oven, Ben Affleck's flack is denying rumors that the couple has snagged an exclusive "seven-figure" contract with Starbucks to quaff and be photographed toting the popular, burnt-smelling coffee. Starbucks also denies any deal.

TOM-KAT UPDATE: The American College of Radiology has warned Cruise and Holmes against performing their own fetal ultrasound exams, saying not o­nly is the practice unsafe, it could be violation of federal law.

JUDE LAW and SIENNA MILLER: Miller is reportedly miffed that Law plans to spend Christmas with his kids instead of her. A source told London's Daily Mirror: "She doesn't seem to understand that Jude's children have to take priority and it's not all about her and what she wants to do. Jude has other responsibilities, but she seems to be trying to make him feel guilty."

ROD STEWART is a dad for sixth time, not counting Stacy.

ELTON JOHN and GEORGE MICHAEL are will be taking advantage of a new British law offering homosexuals many of the legal protections available to married couples. With other men, not with each other, that is.

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY is reportedly so desperate to win back ex-love Jamie Dornan she's delivering flowers and food to his home.  What would Elizabeth Bennet say?

IRAQ: Bill Roggio blogs the turnover of control of the western border to the Iraqi Security Forces and notes the start of Operation Iron Hammer in the city of Hit. Kevin Sites visits o­ne of Saddam's torture chambers in Sulaymaniyah. Newsweek's Fareed Zakaria seems grudgingly optimistic about prospects for the future. The peace activists called Christian Peacemaker Teams blame the US for the abduction of four of their members by the Swords of Righteousness Brigade.

CULT OF THE iPod: Piper Jaffray analysts predict that within five years, Apple could release an iPod with o­ne terabyte of storage for about 500 bucks.

TINFOIL HATS: Wired has a piece about marketing to Americans concerned about exposure to mobile phone and electrical infrastructure. Ruth Douglas Miller, chair of the IEEE Engineering in Medicine and Biology Society's Committee o­n Man and Radiation, says scientific evidence does not support claims that signals emitted by everyday devices are harmful. And regular Pate visitors know tinfoil hats can do more harm than good.

SEATTLE HORSE-SEX UPDATE: James Michael Tait has pleaded guilty to trespassing in connection with a fatal horse-sex case. Tait was videotaping friend Kenneth Pinyan and a horse when Pinyan suffered internal injuries that led to his death.

DOLPHINS help alleviate mild to moderate depression.

PANDA CUB Tai Shan made his public debut at the National Zoo Tuesday, "reducing o­ne of the hardest-bitten press corps in the world to cooing and incoherent babble." Video at the link.

TWO-HEADED TURTLE is drawing big crowds at a Chilean Serpentarium. Photo at the link.

STOWAWAY CAT UPDATE: Emily, the house cat found in France about a month after wandering from her home in Wisconsin, is set to fly business class home.

THE WORLD'S UGLIEST DOG: The late Sam is mourned in this video report from CNN.