THE PIPETTES have married their classic girl group sound with the production skills of Gareth Parton (The Go! Team) and Andy Dragazis (Blue States) for the positively infectious "Your Kisses Are Wasted o­n Me." You can -- and should -- stream the audio or see the You Tube video at MySpace or stream the vid in glorious Quicktime from Memphis Industries.

NEW RELEASES: The highlights this week include guitar heroism from Band of Horses (just got a rave o­n the Pitchfork), more trad R & B and rock from singer-songwriter Cory Branan, all 59 non-album tracks from The Cocteau Twins, 60s-style pop from The Essex Green, My Bloody Valentine and Yo La Tengo-esque fuzz, made more trippy by The Lilys, new wavey dance music from Mates of State and the major label redux from The Artist Currently Known As Prince, complete with those Purple Tickets to his music factory.

MORRISSEY: Author Douglas Coupland, who named o­ne of his books after a Moz song, doesn't interview Morrissey so much as give you his impressions of meeting him in Rome: "His head (this is really weird, and I hope it doesn't go outside the boundaries of taste) is enormous. It's like a huge Charlie Brown parade float head. I walked into the bar to meet him and I saw this guy across the room with this massive head and I thought to myself, 'Man, that's o­ne massive head', and it was Morrissey."

CENTRO-MATIC: The Denton, TX quartet's latest, Fort Recovery, may be more accessible than usual, but the Village Voice likes it anyway. Some of it reminds me a bit of Guided by Voices.

NIKKI SUDDEN dresses like a pirate and talks about the deluxe re-issues of his back catalog.

SEEN YOUR VIDEO: There are few videos more associated with the rise of MTV as a hitmaker than "Love My Way" by the Psychedelic Furs. And for Twofer Tuesday, I throw in the Furs' remake of their own "Pretty In Pink."

SXSW REDUX: The Washington Post has a round-up that praises the (as yet) unsigned indie goodness of Tapes 'N Tapes, the Billy Bragg-led hootenanny at the Central Presbyterian Church, The Flairz, a coed Australian tween trio... and the Arctic Monkeys, who managed to impress the jaded hipsters assembled in Austin. The BBC has an impressive photo galleries and streaming audio, including performances from Morrissey, Richard Hawley, The Zutons, Flaming Lips, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Guillemots and more. There are even more pics at Stereogum. Pitchfork has a three-day diary with pictures and some new names for me to research.

KING FLOYD III, the soul singer and songwriter best known for his 1970 hit "Groove Me," died of complications from a stroke and diabetes at 61. Red Kelly has a bio and tribute at the "B-side." There's more at Soul Sides.

ROGER DALTREY worries about the Keith Moon biopic, but thinks that the upcoming Who album will be their best yet. OTOH, he's going deaf, so don't bet your copy of Who's Next o­n it.

ISOBEL CAMPBELL gets an audio feature at NPR for her album with Mark Lanegan, Ballad of the Broken Seas.

ROXY MUSIC is recording a new album with Brian Eno, who left the band in '73.

DAVE GROHL assures us he will not be naming his baby Moonchild or Tinkerbell.

CHEF-GATE! Fox's Roger Friedman claims that "Isaac Hayes did not quit South Park... someone quit it for him." Hayes recently suffered a stroke and "is constantly monitored by a Scientologist representative most of the time." Meanwhile, the cartoon's tenth season launches o­n Wednesday with a new episode titled "The Return of Chef!"

DONALD TRUMP had a baby boy. Actually, his wife Melania had it, though you have to listen to The Donald carefully to draw that distinction.

TOM SIZEMORE: The troubled actor reveals he enjoyed affairs with both Paris Hilton and Liz Hurley -- dubbing them the best of his 2,000 conquests. This could be considered high praise for Hurley, as the French Hotel may have as much experience as Sizemore. OTOH, Hurley was still involved with Hugh Grant at the time, so she may not like that sort of pub.

A HOLLYWOOD SUPERSTAR performed a sex act o­n himself while enjoying a massage, a hotel worker has claimed. The Writing Company attempts some detective work.

CARMEN ELECTRA and DAVE NAVARRO: Electra's rep can't imagine who started the rumor about a rough patch in the marriage. Hint -- it was Dave.

MADDOX PITT-JOLIE: has topped a new poll of cute celebrity kids appearing in In Touch Weekly.

SIENNA MILLER has reportedly begged ex-fiance Jude Law to give their relationship o­ne more chance? I dunno... there are plenty of pics of her cozy with Hayden Christensen floating around.

BRITNEY SPEARS is looking pregnant as her innie turns outie. She is threatening not o­nly another season of her reality show Chaotic, but also to feature Spenderline in a spinoff. But even that might not be the most embarassing video of the couple to see the light of day in the near future.

COLIN FARRELL: Speaking of which, a judge has blocked distribution of Farrell's romp with a former Playmate. But maybe his naked ballet for Salma Hayek will end up o­n the DVD for Ask the Dust.

THE GALLERY OF THE ABSURD is currently showing new portraits of Britney Spears and Tom Cruise.

MICHAEL MOORE is getting larger and hairier all the time.

CHARLIE SHEEN is a 9/11 conspiracy theorist. Maybe he can get a part in Oliver Stone's upcoming 9/11 movie.

SPIKE LEE did not think much of George Clooney's Oscar acceptance speech.

STACEY'S MOM plans to follow in the footsteps of estranged husband Rod Stewart with a singing career.

STING is opening a strip club. David Bowie is investing in it.

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY has reportedly moved into her Pride and Prejudice co-star Rupert Friend's cozy bedsit in Clapham, London.

IRAQ: The Belmont Club argues that "the shift of meme from the 'insurgency' to a 'civil war' is a backhanded way of admitting the military defeat of the insurgency without abandoning the characterization of Iraq is an American fiasco." At ITM, Mohammed offers a balanced, yet optimistic view of Iraq and its future. The Mesopotamian remains concerned about possible civil war, but also seems to agree with the Belmont Club argument. Bill Roggio notes military and political progress, but the intriguing bit is about talk that SCIRI may break with the main Shiite bloc (UIA) and join with Kurdish, secular Shiite and Sunni parties to nominate Abdel Mahdi as prime minister. Suzanne Fournier, a grandmother of 15 stationed in Iraq with the U.S. Army Corp. of Engineers, blogs abut constructing water systems in Southern Iraq.

IRAQ IN THE MEDIA: The Philadelphia Inquirer leads a story with: "An Iraqi police document accuses U.S. troops of executing 11 people, including a 75-year-old woman and a 6-month-old infant, after a raid Wednesday o­n a house about 60 miles north of Baghdad." You have to read down to paragraph six to learn that "Accusations that U.S. troops have killed civilians are commonplace in Iraq, though most are judged later to be unfounded or exaggerated." This charge, like the others, is being investigated. Though you can't tell from the web version, the story ran o­n page o­ne of the paper. If the charge is unfounded, I'm sure that the Inquirer will run that story o­n page o­ne too. But even the Inquirer is better than ABC News, which doesn't even provide a disclaimer in its indictment of Marines allegedly murdering 15 civilians in Haditha. Oddly, neither the Inquirer nor ABC News can be bothered to run stories o­n heroes like Petty Officer 1st Class Nathan McDonell or Maryland National Guard Sgt. Michael McMullen.

POLAR BEAR TRIPLETS -- apparently the first born in captivity -- made their public debut Friday at a zoo in the Netherlands. And there's awww...some video of the event. But where's the Coca-Cola?

BABY MARMOSETS the size of a human thumb were amongst a haul of rare animals and birds stolen in a burglary of an English zoo.

IF THE TIGER WANTS TO TALK, he won't need you sticking your hand in his cage, thank you very much.

CANE TOAD WHACKING DAY: Life imitates The Simpsons in Australia's Northern Territory.

MOOSE CRASHES THROUGH CAR WINDOW, becomes a passenger. Pics and video at the link. Nothing up my sleeve... presto!