ANDY GRIFFITH plays Santa for an entire North Carolina town -- Mayberry has high-speed wi-fi?

DEAD OR ALIVE: I wish I had seen this site before I finished my year-in-review project.

TIME AND NEWSWEEK devote their cover stories this week to debunking the story of Jesus' birth.

LIFE IN CHINA must be pretty bad.

GOOD GRIEF: One can only imagine what Charlie Brown would make of a giant chocolate creche.

ON THE PITCHFORK: Nirvana bassist Krist Novoselic sold on eBay for seven thousand, three hundred dollars.

THE EXISTENCE OF BLOGGERS shows the difficulties inherent in creating a reporter's privilege. Put another way, free speech is for everyone.

ROWAN ATKINSON: Mr. Bean makes his own stand for freedom of speech.

BOB DYLAN ON 60 MINUTES: An infomercial?

NATIONAL TREASURE remains atop the box office and is not as far-fetched as it sounds.

PLASTIC EXPLOSIVES were loaded on a plane in Paris and then lost, after a test of bomb-sniffing dogs went awry.

SEARCHING NEVERLAND... and Michael Jackson's mouth.

UKRAINE UPDATE: As the former Soviet republic struggles toward a clean election, it is important to note that Yulia Tymoshenko, the top ally of opposition leader Yushchenko -- who favors closer ties with the West -- looks strikingly similar to Princess Leia. Granted, it's The Empire Strikes Back Leia, when The Return of the Jedi Leia would be even better, for the obvious reason.

NICK NOLTE has been sued by the parents of a teenage girl who said she was raped during a party in his absence at his Malibu home after being plied with drugs by Nolte's security guard.

U.N. NUKE CHIEF MOHAMMED EL BARADEI angrily denied charges he had collaborated with Iran. But this story in the London Telegraph on the Iranian nuke program does not look good. The Telegraph also has new allegations against Kojo Annan in the U.N. Oil-For-Food scandal.

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS: In the midst of a rash of thefts of inflatable Spongebobs, a few are returned to their rightful owners.

TAVIS SMILEY has split from National Public Radio and this interview with Time, in which he says the Bush cabinet is more diverse than NPR, suggests he's more Frowny than Smiley these days.

FEMALE FIRST reports that Tommy Lee's marriage to Heather Locklear broke up after spending quality time with a porn star in a bathroom on the set of her movie (that would do it, I think); Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin conceived baby Apple on the back of Coldplay's tour bus, according to roadies seemingly more jealous of the space than the act.