THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE:

... with THE ZOMBIES!  The original lineup is touring behind their 1968 album Odessey & Oracle, for the first time ever, but are playing the hits, too.  They kicked it off at the Shepherd's Bush Empire earlier this month, with selections including  "She's Not There," "Say You Don't Mind" (which may give you problems, depending on your (IE) browser), "Maybe After He's Gone," "Brief Candles" "Hung Up on a Dream," "Changes," "Butcher's Tale (Western Front 1914)" a fab take on "Time of the Season,"  Brian Wilson fans will note Darian Sahanaja sitting in on 2nd keyboards.

THE REPLACEMENTS' deluxe reissues of Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Trash, Stink, Hootenanny, and Let It Be are coming next month.  Rhino is now streaming a selection of 'Mats songs in Real Audio, Windows Media and glorious Quicktime.  Your playlist -- "I Will Dare," "Take Me Down to the Hospital,""Kick Your Door Down," "Dope Smokin' Moron," "Hootenanny," "Johnny's Gonna Die," "Sixteen Blue," "Kids Don't Follow," "Within Your Reach," "Unsatisfied," "Shiftless When Idle" and "Stuck in the Middle."  You will have to det the discs to hear that unreleased take on the DiFranco Family's "Heartbeat, It's a Lovebeat."

GUNS N' ROSES:  Dr Pepper says it will give a free can of Dr Pepper to "everyone in America" (excluding ex-GNR members Slash and Buckethead) if the lost "Chinese Democracy" album arrives anytime during the calendar year 2008.  Axl Rose is surprised by the announcement, but says he will share his can with Buckethead.

THE ROLLING STONES:  Martin Scorsese talks to the Orlando Sentinel about the band's influence on his filmmaking, as well as his Stones concert documentary, Shine A Light.  You can stream the doc's soundtrack via iMeem.

ANDREW BIRD is blogging about songwriting for the New York Times, along with Roseanne Cash and Suzanne Vega.

THE B-52s:  Fred Schneider talks to Canada's Sun about the 16-year-gap in making the band's new album, Funplex, and its surprising emphasis on sex.  The band has a new clip for the title track; you can still stream the album over the weekend via Spinner.  BONUS:  The B-52's perform "Rock Lobster" at the Downtown Cafe in Atlanta, Georgia in 1978, about a month before the release of their first album.

SHEARWATER frontman Jonathan Meiburg talks to Pitchfork about ornithology and the band's upcoming album, Rook.  There is also an advance track, "Rooks."

XIU XIU explain to Pitchfork why bluegrass is the original goth music, how to con your grandmother into buying you a guitar, and where to buy that rare album when you're on the West Coast.

JASON COLLETT:  The Broken Social Scenster talks to Canada's Sun about his latest solo LP, sincerity vs. irony, and more...

CUTOUT BIN: From Genesis to Emma Franklin, from The Sonics to Vera Lynn, from Ben Folds to Jimi Hendrix, from the Jesus & Mary Chain to Petula Clark to She & Him covering The Beatles and The Lemonheads covering Suzanne Vega, this Good Friday's fortuitous finds overfloweth, and can be jukeboxed or streamed individually on the Pate page at the ol' HM.

MILES FISHER does an excellent spoof of the Tom Cruise scientology videos in Superhero Movie.  Fortunately, I can watch it on the Internet and avoid the rest of the flick.

NOW SHOWING:  This weekend's wide releases include the Superhero Movie parody which has been embargoed or not screened for critics; the card-counting drama 21, which is currently scoring 41 percent on the ol' Tomatometer; the Iraq war drama Stop-Loss, which is scoring 56 percent; and Run, Fat Boy, Run, which is scoring 46 percent.

KATE BOSWORTH & JIM STURGESS got so blotto on Grey Goose that they do not remember much of their love scene for 21.

LINDSAY LOHAN, star of Mean Girls, has now signed on to to star as Nancy Pittman, once a loyal member of Charles Manson's not-so-merry band, in the movie Manson Girls.

JESSICA LANGE, through her rep, denies that she has had plastic surgery, but a picture is worth a thousand words.

BRADGELINA's next baby pics may sell for as high as ten million dollars.  One magazine editor who asked to remain anonymous said, "It's at the point now where some stars might decide to have more kids just to collect the money from their photos."

KIRSTEN DUNST has been calling friends -- including her ex-bf and co-star Tobey Maguire -- to make amends, which happens to be step nine of most 12-step programs.

JOHN HUGHES -- the writer-director behind teen comedies liek "Sixteen Candles," "Pretty in Pink," "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" and "The Breakfast Club" -- hasn't set foot in Hollywood for years, but his influence has never been more potent, according to the L.A. Times.

GORE, KEANU BARADA NIKTO!  Keanu Reeves stars as Klaatu in the upcoming remake of The Day The Earth Stood Still, in which the threat to Earth is not nuclear war, but environmental calamity.

WHEN THE WHIP COMES DOWN:  The twenty-five most emasculated, disempowered, henpecked husbands on the planet, according to GQ magazine.

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA:  The ladies of BG go all Barbarella for a piece in the April issue of GQ magazine.

THE STANS:  The US has escalated its unilateral strikes against al-Qaeda members and fighters operating in Pakistan's tribal areas, partly because of anxieties that Pakistan's new leaders may insist on scaling back military operations.  OTOH, the return of millions of refugees is seen as one of the great success stories of post-Taliban Afghanistan. More accurate than any poll, aid workers like to say, this flow of people is tangible evidence that Afghans themselves think their country is improving.  Meanwhile, members of the Taliban dream of retaking huge chunks of Pakistan as part of Afghanistan under their rule, which seems as likely as the proposed Islamic State of Iraq that never came into being.

IRAQ:  The New York Times and the Times of London both report that the Iraqi government's offensive against Shia militia gunmen is faltering.  However, Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki pledged there will be "no retreat" and Muqtada al-Sadr wants a "political solution" to the crisis.  At the Counterterrorism Blog, Andrew Cochran calls it a "budding disaster," though that may be a bit premature.  It does appear that the Iraqi Army was not prepared to fight in Basra's narrow streets with its current vehicles, and PM al-Maliki is now reaping what was sown with Mahdi Army infiltration of Iraqi police forces.  However, even the typically pessimistic Anthony Cordesman notes that Basra is a special case.  Abu Muqawama elaborates, noting that the Brits adopted a "peacekeeping" mindset in Basra and never really engaged in a broader COIN or CT effort.  That meant that all the myriad Shia groups were able to pursue their (relatively) non-violent political agenda and consolidate control over the political levers of city.  At CNN, Michael Ware points out that Iran has squeezed al-Sadr to keep breakaway factions of the Mahdi Army fighting US and Iraqi forces.  Maj. John Tammes, who has always been a straight shooter with me, is close to some of the action and comments that "this was brought on, in part, by the fed up residents of Basrah who want an end to the militia crap - kidnappings, violence, etc. Since the IA and the Coalition are pushing AQI further up North and out, the Iraqis figure it is better to confront the problem now, rather than wait for it to get worse..."

SINBAD the LIGER:  Scientists are still trying to figure out how these hybrid cats dwarf their parents in size.  Let's go to the video.

HAWK DOGNAPS A PUPPY from doggie day-care.  Video at the link.

NEWTS take over a £1m home in Dauntsey, Wiltshire, by adverse possession.

A TORTOISE that smokes and appears to be addicted to nicotine has been discovered in China's northeastern province of Jilin.

WOMBAT falsely accused of raping a man and causing him to adopt an Australian accent.  Really.