Karl 
THE MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS tanked in the ratings, down 28 percent from last year and almost 50 percent from two years ago. Maybe they should have had more than a minute of Lou Reed with The Raconteurs playing “White Light, White Heat.” BONUS: Reed joins David Bowie on “White Light, White Heat” and Bowie's “Queen B*tch.”
NEW RELEASES: It's a slow week after the holiday and before a big week next Tuesday. Grizzly Bear's Yellow House and Hem's Funnel Cloud are the main attractions streaming in full from AOL this week, unless you're a fan of Beyonce or Iron Maiden. Stereogum did Inside the Rockers Studio with Ed Droste of Grizzly Bear, with a link to an alternate stream. The new Audioslave album is streaming from VH1. Heather Browne pointed me to Paolo Nutini, whose new record comes out in the US toaday, evoking bits of old skool R & B, Van Morrison, Joe Cocker and such. And if you want to get a jump on next week, you might check out TV on the Radio, which has “Wolf Like Me” from the Pitchfork-approved Return to Cookie Mountain posted ahead of the US release date.
BOB DYLAN: Last week's release of Modern Times inspired Aquarium Drunkard to repost 25 outtakes and alternates from Dylan's Freewheelin'. You can also jukebox 'em via the Hype Machine. SEMI-RELATED: Golden Fiddle posted a Dylan-inspired set of songs about trains.
R.I.P. WOXY: After two years, the fabulous Internet radio station will go offline Sept. 15th. Listen before it's too late.
ROBERT CHRISTGAU, one of the deans of rock criticism, has been fired by the Village Voice. Canuck critic Carl Wilson asks: “If there's a Pazz & Jop poll this year, does it get boycotted?”
ROCK 'N' ROLL AIN'T NOISE POLLUTION: Researchers at a Scottish university believe that the sound of guitar-based rock such as Jimi Hendrix, AC/DC and the Red Hot Chili Peppers improves concentration and boosts memory. OTOH, the Housing Council in Cardiff is taking a 37-year-old mother-of-four to court for blasting out 80s hits, such as Europe’s “The Final Countdown,” and singing along until the early hours.
SCHOOLHOUSE ROCK: It is back-to-school season, so you may want a refresher course via You Tube. “Conjunction Junction,” “I'm Just A Bill,” My Hero, Zero” and many more, plus a “making of” documentary.
SUFJAN STEVENS is putting out a five-CD-EP Christmas box set in November. Gorilla vs. Bear posted a new song, “Sister Winter,” and one of Sufjan's old ones, “That Was The Worst Christmas Ever!”
TAPES N TAPES gets a nice profile in London’s Guardian that begins with sage advice from indie marketing guru Clell Tickle.
EDDIE VAN HALEN, as previously noted, decided to do the music for an “adult” video. Stereogum has the MP3s, which you can stream via the Hype Machine.
PETE DOHERTY UPDATE: The troubled singer got his sentencing on drug charges postponed until December, after a judge ordered him to continue rehabilitation and complimented one of his songs. No, I didn't make up that last bit. Maybe the judge should hear from Ozzy Osbourne's son Jack, who has figured out that Doherty doesn't want help yet.
STEVE IRWIN: The “Crocodile Hunter,” icymi, was killed by a stingray barb to the chest off Australia's north coast. Marine experts say Irwin had little chance of surviving after being struck in the chest, as opposed to the foot. And there apparently is video that has been given to police. The Burning Oak blog posted MP3s in tribute.
WEEKEND BOX OFFICE: Invincible managed to snag the top spot for a second weekend, with an estimated 15.2 million, beating out new releases Crank and The Wicker Man. The indie Little Miss Sunshine took fourth while The Illusionist took the fifth slot (with the highest per screen average) in an expanded release. The other new release, Crossover, stumbled into 11th place.
OLIVER STONE, watching World Trade Center slide into eighth place and struggle to make back its production and marketing costs, cannot hold his tongue any longer, accusing movies like Pearl Harbor and Black Hawk Down of promoting war: “Things have gotten very dark and frankly there is more terror, there is more death, there is more war. The consequences of 9/11 are far worse than the day itself.” If Stone checks a history book, he may discover that there was also more war and more death after the real Pearl Harbor. He might also learn that Osama bin Laden was emboldened by the US pullout from Somalia, not to mention the US track record of not fighting back after the first WTC bombing, the Khobar Towers bombing, the 1998 US embassy bombings, and the USS Cole bombing.
THE McCARTNEYS: The increasingly acrimonious divorce of Sir Paul and his estranged wife Heather Mills is taking a psychological toll on their two-year-old daughter, Beatrice.
JESSICA SIMPSON: The pneumatic blonde won a new Chrysler Crossfire SRT-6 convertible at the VMAs last week.
TOM-KAT UPDATE: In the wake of his humiliating ejection from the Paramount lot, Cruise turned up to apologize personally to Brooke Shields for his anti-anti-depressant rant on the Today show. Cruise's first marriage to Nicole Kidman reportedly broke up during the filming of Eyes Wide Shut because the couple's characters were too close for comfort, according to a new Kidman biography. The National Enquirer claims to have seen the photos of the Tom-Kitten taken for Vanity Fair magazine: “The baby has a mop of dark hair and strongly resembles Katie. No resemblance to Tom is immediately apparent.” While waiting to see those photos, we can enjoy this video of Top Gun as a silent movie.
MADONNA has enraged animal rights groups by importing baby pheasant chicks to her country estate in England so she can charge people 18K for the privilege of shooting them in October.
BEYONCE: Perez Hilton is posting a series accusing of the singer “borrowing” imagery from Britney Spears, Mariah Carey and the Spice Girls.
ELLEN DeGENERES and PORTIA de ROSSI were in a chain auto collision late Friday afternoon. TMZ has video of the aftermath, because one of the cars in the chain was full of paparazzi. I smell lawsuit — Ellen complained of neck and back pain, while Portia complained of back pain.
LIZA MINNELLI and PETER GEST BREAK-UPDATE: Their nasty divorce battle is escalating, with Minnelli accusing Gest of trying to poison her and Gest charging that she hid the fact that she had a sexually transmitted disease.
BRADGELINA: Controversial artist Daniel Edwards — who did the wacky sculpture of Britney Spears — is working on an X-rated sculpture of Brad Pitt with both Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie. Both Aniston and Jolie are reported to be angered by the plans, and are taking appropriate measures to ensure the work is never exhibited. Just goes to show the power of art to bring people together, though a source told the Daily Star that Pitt “doesn’t seem to be bothered by the threesome portrayal at all.” Which is because he's male and aware of Jolie's bisexual past.
IRAQ: The Iraqi Ground Forces Command assumed command and control of the 8th Iraqi Army Division from the Multinational Corps Iraq. Iraqi security forces will take over security in the Dhi Qar province later this month. Al Qaeda's No. 2 operative in Iraq, linked to the Samarra mosque bombing in February, has been arrested. AQ denies it, which suggests it might be a bigger deal than I would have thought. Pajamas Media reports that US troops uncovered at least 240 chemical weapon shells north of Baghdad, fortunately empty (though Saddam's regime could have filled them quickly enough).
IRAQ in the MEDIA: The L.A. Times ran a ridiculous piece, “Iraqi Casualties Increase by 1,000 a Month,” claiming to be based on “based on new government figures.” The story now carries a correction of the initial version, but the fat remains that the Pentagon report does not contain new figures. Moreover, the same paper reported on the dramatic drop in Baghdad's homicide rate last week. In August, violent deaths dropped from 3500 to 973 nationwide and from 1500 to 550 in Baghdad. Last week, The New York Times tried to pretend the drop wasn't happening, focusing instead on a couple of bad days (just as they did in April). Now the NYT reports: “Troops Cut Death, but Not Fear, in Baghdad Zone.” If the press fairly and consistently looked at longer trends, it might be concluded that numbers-wise, things haven't changed much since February, though some progress is being made in Baghdad.
FREDDIE the DOG digs a pony.
CUJO is not a good name for a dog, especially after it bites a four-year-old boy.
DOGS: Does being being left-pawed, right-pawed or ambidextrous indicate an animal's suitability for a career in law enforcement or as a guide dog for the blind? Scientists investigate.
HEDGEHOGS force McDonald's to redesign its McFlurry ice-cream containers.
A BEAR-HUNTING TRIP goes very wrong in Alaska. Not as wrong as in Grizzly Man, most likely because this man had a gun.
