WELCOME, JON HAHN! The wayward Pate joins us officially. As I once wrote him (albeit regarding Jon Pratt): "It just ain't the Archies without the Jughead beat." And this site could be another place to promote future projects, gigs, etc. (that goes for Mike and the rest, too).

WHILE ON THE SUBJECT of site business, I'll thank everyone (and one of you in particular) who helped make November the site's busiest by a wide margin, with a week or so yet to go.

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES makes the cover of Newsweek. Among the more interesting tidbits: the show was created by a gay Republican and is shot on the street where Wally and the Beav grew up.

SOME COLOR LASER PRINTERS use technology that allows the government to track documents like license plates in counterfeiting cases.

ON THE PITCHFORK: A so-so review of the new U2 disc. UPDATE: However, it gets a rave from a Charismatic Episcopalian minister at National Review Online. Go figure.

THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU: Early reviews and a few new clips of the new film from Wes Anderson (The Royal Tenenbaums) are up at Aint-It-Cool-News.

I LOVE COWBELL IN THE SUMMER: Anyone who did not understand my link to Dooce last week (Thursday, iirc) may want to watch some streaming video at Milk and Cookies.

NO JAIL TIME FOR FAST-FORWARDING: The Senate removes some of the controversial provisions of the copyright bill headed to the House of Representatives. It still has 50 pages devoted to regulating professional boxing, which may be a good idea, but not in a copyright bill.

ANTHONY HOPKINS, PATRICIA CLARKSON & JAMES GANDOLFINI are joining the remake of the political drama "All the King's Men." It's written and directed by Steve Zaillian, a family friend. Not mentioned is that Steve has retained James Carville as a consultant on Louisiana; don't be surprised if he ends up with a cameo.

GUILTY PLEASURE: The new holiday ad for OfficeMax is pseudo-Rankin-Bass goodness.

MICHAEL MOORE tops the Film Threat list of the coldest people in Hollywood. "The Frigid 50 ice pack have left audiences cold with their overbearing personalities, poor career choices and chronic inability to stop making fools of themselves."

THE OTHER NECKTIE: The Serbian who has created a gential cravat claims Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bill Clinton and Jacques Chirac are among his clients. Insert your own punchline here.

BRAD PITT goes up a notch by declining an invite to Inside the Actor's Studio.

TONY BLAIR: A motion to impeach the prime minister over the war in Iraq is scheduled to be tabled Wednesday, but is not expected to go anywhere.

JANE GALT: As the nickname suggests, Megan McArdle is pretty libertarian (both, actually -- and strikingly tall). But at Thanksgiving, she wants to tell you what to do. Or eat, anyway.

PARIS HILTON: Photographed with a woman and can't spell. Are either of these stories news?

TERRY MELCHER: Producer for the Byrds ("Mr. Tambourine Man," "Turn, Turn, Turn,"), Gram Parsons, The Mamas & Papas.  The real target of the Manson Family.  Dead of melanoma at 62.

FWIW, Matt Drudge blurbs Sunday night: "Military commanders say need for more troops in fight against insurgents in Iraq increasingly likely..."

U2, seizing the moment, threw in an impromptu cover of the Beatles' "Rain" at the opening of the Clinton Library. But why didn't they ask President Bush to sit in on "Sunday Bloody Sunday?" His version isn't bad.

SPIELBERG plans to shoot War of the Worlds in 75 days and have it theaters next summer.

CHURCHGOING CAN BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH, according to Holland's Maastricht University.

ANN ALTHOUSE blogs the 400 nominees for greatest movie quotes by the AFI.  Yours truly makes an uncredited, but unmistakable, cameo near the end.

END OF THE WORLD UPDATE: After the locusts in Egypt and the toads in Austraila, more locusts in Israel.

BRITNEY AND SILICON: Yes, that is spelled correctly.

ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE'S "GREATEST 500 SONGS OF ALL TIME:" The point of such lists seems to be to generate the inevitable disagreement and discussion.  Plus, the mag gets to have Brian Wilson, Jeff Tweedy and others generate content for free.  I'll just note the essential dishonesty of the title, given that the voters were instructed to select songs from the rock & roll era.  And it seems that Richard Thompson was not among the voters.

AGENCE FRANCE-PRESSE: Doesn't like the British much.

UMA THURMAN is moving into the Penthouse.

PRESIDENT BUSH: bodyguards o­ne of his bodyguards.

THE SENATE WILL LOOK AT PORN: It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it.  Apparently, some believe porn is as addictive as heroin or crack.  Sadly, the late Jeffrey Lee Pierce is unavailable to testify, but they could listen to his work.

POEM OF THE DAY: "If I owned the sword Excalibur"

END OF THE WORLD UPDATE: First, the locusts in Egypt; now, it's hundreds of thousands of poisonous toads Down Under.

MATTHEW SHEPARD: ABC's 20/20 is preparing to report that the horrific 1998 murder was not a hate crime but something more complicated involving methamphetamine and robbery among possible acquaintances. And that a judicial gag order prevented people from discussing it.

HISTORIC CROSS-PROMOTION (Not that there's anything wrong with that): With a DVD release and NBC special airing next week, Jerry Seinfeld donates the famous "puffy shirt" to the Smithsonian.

KOFI ANNAN: The United Nations' employees union is expected to issue an unprecedented vote of no confidence in the Secretary-General after he pardoned the U.N.'s top oversight official over a series of allegations of favouritism and sexual harassment.

SEARS HOLDINGS ACQUIRES FRANCE

SLATE: Human Guinea Pig Emily Yoffe temporarily becomes an armed liberal.

THE CLINTON LIBRARY OPENS:

"From the moment the current first lady and three former first ladies stepped out of the library and onto the stage under umbrellas, followed by their husbands, without umbrellas, the mutual generosity was as gripping as the choreography.

***

"President Bush first stopped under Chelsea Clinton's umbrella, putting his arm around her and posing for pictures. As Clinton, 58, who underwent heart bypass surgery in early September, gave the drenched crowd a big wave, President Bush peeked under the umbrella that obscured his wife's face, as if to make sure he was standing next to the right person."

Do our living Presidents know enough to come in out of the rain?

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS: A Hero For Our Time, according to the Wall Street Journal.

A federal court in Denver ruled that the government must return 30 gallons of "ayahuasca," a hallucinogenic tea used for religious purposes to a Brazilian religious sect in New Mexico. But don't think about converting until you read about the side effects.

THE SOPRANOS head for Iraq; a quick end to the war now expected.

GREYHOUND RACING, and the fate of the dogs when their racing days are through, will be examined o­n HBO's Real Sports next Tuesday.

NOTHING SAYS CHRISTMAS like The Damned.  Okay, maybe this.

KIM JONG IL: Fading, or just rebranding?

POP QUIZ: Which Monty Python & the Holy Grail Character Are You, Really?

MTV NEWS asks: Was Music Legend Ray Charles Really A Legendary Womanizer? (Short Answer: You betcha!)

CIA plans riskier, more aggressive espionage: "The risky new strategy would be a sharp departure from the CIA's traditional style of human intelligence, in which field officers under flimsy cover as diplomats in U.S. embassies try to recruit foreign spies and gather tips from allied intelligence services. Those methods don't work with terror groups or in countries where the United States has no embassies, such as prewar Iraq or present-day North Korea and Iran."  The CIA also missed things like the implosion of the Soviet Union, so maybe some actual spying might be useful.

THIS IOWA STATE UNIVERSITY-related PR somehow landed o­n the front page of Google News Thursday night.

ROCK 'N' ROLL (POSTERS) PART II: Scads of indie-rock show posters to ogle at Gigposters.