FIRST OF ALL, Happy International Talk Like A Pirate Day, me hearties!

R.E.M. REUNION: I had the audio yesterday, but now you can see Bill Berry reunited with Michael Stipe, Peter Buck and Mike Mills as they are inducted into the Georgia Music Hall of Fame, playing "Begin The Begin," "Losing My Religion" (with backup from Scott McCaughey) and "Man On The Moon."

NEW RELEASES: It's a bit of a slow week. the largely instrumental The Big Sleep, the new Elton John and comps from Jane's Addiction and Alice In Chains are streaming in full from AOL. Hidden Cameras releases AWOO, which finds the band adding some 60s pop to their folk, for a bit of an XTC vibe. Bonnie "Prince" Billy" lets loose with The Letting Go. He's going to be o­n the Conan O'Brien show tonight, also. Pere Ubu explains Why I Hate Women, though you won't find any of it o­nline; the link has some Ubu classics. Winter Flowers gets their freak folk o­n, though sounding more trad than Devenda Banhart. Free gets a Live at the BBC release. And Rhino is reissuing expanded versions of most of The Pogues, which prompts this video link to "Sally MacLennane."

THE QUARRYMEN: Heather Browne used the news that The Casbah Coffee Club, created in the home of original Beatles drummer Pete Best, has been given protected status to post a bunch of tunes from the Pre-Fab Four.

THE AIR GUITAR CHAMPIONSHIP: Pat Malone writes in London's Times about trying his axe-arm at the world championship in Finland. SPIN magazine has video of Ochi "Dainoji" Yosuke's winning performance.

RICHARD BUCKNER stopped by The Current for a brief live set you can stream from MPR.

SEEN YOUR VIDEO: Primitive music video from Joe Walsh's James Gang, playing "Walk Away." Squeezing it in before the end of summer.

MISSION OF BURMA is swept away by molten magma from Mt. Hood in the latest entry for the band's Tour Diary. But I think Roger Miller is pulling our leg. Pics at the link, too.

SUFJAN STEVENS and THE RACONTEURS: Gorilla Vs. Bear has details of their Austin City Limits TV tapings. I want to see the Raconteurs cover Gram Parsons, Nancy Sinatra, and The Flamin' Groovies! For now, we have to make do with watching The White Stripes cameo o­n The Simpsons

M WARD: Post-War is Stereophile's Recording of the Month. He was also featured recently at Metromix. Indeed, I featured him earlier this month, but I'm mentioning him again because "Chinese Translation" is o­ne of my current faves in song and video.

U2: Having recently heard the band was in the studio with Green Day, The Edge tells Time it's rehearsals for a joint performance of The Skids' "The Saints Are Coming" o­n Monday Night Football (Sept. 25th) for the re-opening of the Superdome. And they're just gettting comfy with Rick Rubin. There's more at the link, including the songs The Edge wishes he had written.

INXS: A TV reality show, a tour and... dropped by Epic Records.

PRES. BUSH and LITTLE RICHARD: From The Daily Show. The Pres. could use a translator o­n occasion.

JESSICA SIMPSON: A blown chance at musician John Mayer, disappointing album sales and attacks by a Christian minister may have driven the pneumatic blonde to binge eating.

ANNA NICOLE SMITH: Forensic pathologist Cyril Wecht says the model's son was o­n prescription anti-depression medication when he died, but agreed there was no evidence that Daniel Smith died from a "suicidal overdose." Wecht, hired to conduct a second autopsy, is awaiting toxicology tests to determine the cause of death.

MAD MEL UPDATE: The embattled actor-director came out of seclusion Saturday to walk his 26-year-old daughter Hannah down the aisle, as she married blues guitarist Kenny Wayne Shepherd.

BRITNEY SPEARS has reportedly had a tummy tuck after the birth of her second child.

TOM-KAT UPDATE: Holmes is reportedly having doubts about marrying Cruise. I am reportedly having doubts about that story, though it should be true.

KATE HUDSON and CHRIS ROBINSON BREAK-UPDATE: It seems that Hudson and Owen Wilson are not trying hard to hide that they're spending a lot of time together.

TARA REID: Hollywood's former favorite party girl has reportedly had a breast reduction and cosmetic surgery to correct her earlier funky liposuction.

MATT LeBLANC proved to be as dim as his Joey character by trying to represent himself in hs divorce. He eneded up consulting with and eventually hiring a big name LA lawyer.

ORLANDO BLOOM and KATE BOSWORTH: It's a good thing they have personal assistants to make sure they avoid each other.

WYNONA RYDER was almost denied entry at a club o­n NYC's Lower East Side because she didn't have ID. And she told the doormen she was older than she actually is -- which seems odd, but I've known this to happen. Anyway, she's looking pretty good wearing nothing but a slogan to raise awareness about skin cancer. This is a good thing as it's always better when a woman with an insatiable libido is attractive.

KEVIN COSTNER is not happy with the movie Death of A President, which uses CGI to simulate the assassination of Pres. Bush: "It's awfully hard if you're his children, his wife, his mother, his dad; there's a certain thing we can't lose as human beings, which is empathy for maybe the hardest job in the world. Whether we think it's being performed right or not we can't, like, wish... or think that's even cute." The film premiered to largely negative reviews at the Toronto Film Festival, which didn't stop the judges from awarding it the International Critics' Prize, while denying politics played a part in their decision. RELATED: Rick's Cafe Americain was closed by French authorities in Casablanca, Morocco. Said Capt. Renault: "I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going o­n in here!"

UNDERSTANDING ISLAMIC EXTREMISM: Sam Harris, the proudly liberal author of The End of Faith: Religion, Terror and the Future of Reason, heaps scorn o­n Pop Benedict XVI's remarks o­n Islam, which have prompted rage in the Muslim world. Yet he also argues that the failure of liberals to understand the danger posed by Islamic extremism will ultimately empower "the religious lunatics of the West."

IRAQ: As-yet unsubstantiated reports have begun circulating o­n radical Arabic-language Internet chat forums of a possible merger of the Ansar al-Sunnah Army in Iraq and Al-Qaida's Mujahideen Shura Council. Better news, in light of recent reports of backsliding in Anbar province is that Nearly all the tribes in Anbar Province have agreed to join forces to fight al-Qaeda insurgents and other foreign-backed terrorists.

ELEPHANT POLO: The US is making its debut at the King's Cup Elephant Polo Championship in Thailand. And we're not above having our elephants spray dung in the path of our opponents.

WILD BOAR ATTACK foiled by playing opossum.

JIMMY'S DONKEY FUND: Would you give him a dollar so he can have donkeys at his wedding reception?

THE GOAT magically turned into my brother after I killed it, your honor. What? Like you've never heard of a were-goat...

A SHARK THAT WALKS on its fins is discovered off Indonesia's Papua province. Candygram...

THE REPLACEMENTS' classic appearance o­n The Show That Cannot Be Named is back o­nline, with Paul Westerberg dropping an F-bomb just off-mic during the anthemic "Bastards of Young." That probably got the network censors riled, so Tommy Stinson couldn't help but put a scare into them during "Kiss Me o­n The Bus." Please note that the band changed into each other's clothes between songs, except for the late Bob Stinson, who maintained his own sartorial splendor with two original outfits. IIRC, this appearance launched Tim to around No. 186 o­n the Billboard album chart. ALSO: Westerberg talked to AOL's Music Blog about contributing seven new tracks to the soundtrack of the upcoming Open Season: "I figured it was time to find another avenue of show business to flop in." You can stream an advance track there, too.

THE AUSTIN CITY LIMITS FEST starts Friday! Some of the sets will be webcast via evil corporate giant AT & T. Dallas blogger Gorilla vs. Bear is headed there (for the fest and TV tapings of Sufjan Stevens, Jack White, and Cat Power) with a mixtape of the more obscure Austin bands, which you can also jukebox via the Hype Machine. Out The Other has a massive festival preview blog that should put you a couple of clicks from almost every act appearing there.

DRIVE-BY TRUCKER Jason Isbell talks to the Macon Telegraph from the road about books, food and the didgeridoo.

GOLDEN SMOG: Dan Murphy and Gary Louris tell the AP that the members of their side gig are a tough crowd. There's plenty 'o' smog to stream via the Hype Machine, though my pick to click may still be "Corvette."

BOB DYLAN: Aquarium Drunkard has posted Blonde On Blonde Outtakes -- Part One. You can stream 'em from the link or jukebox 'em via the Hype Machine. The track listing includes rarities like "Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window" and alternate takes of classics like "Visions of Johanna."

BAND OF HORSES frontman Ben Bridwell notes the upside and downside of the band's revolving door. Sub Pop Records has posted the video for "Great Salt Lake," in which the guys head out for a softball game.

OK GO: Billboard notes that translating their viral video into download and disc sales took some time and marketing.

SIR TOM JONES played Dancing With The Stars last night, so I checked to see that the video links I posted in March are still good. I'll throw in "What's New, Pussycat?" as a bonus.

ARCTIC MONKEYS start recording their second album next month, with an eye toward an early 2008 release.

PETE DOHERTY UPDATE: The troubled singer's band, Babyshambles, has in fact inked a deal with Parlophone.

WHITNEY HOUSTON is divorcing Bobby Brown. Self-proclaimed "video vixen" Karrine Steffans may have been a factor, though TMZ's source says it's just moral support. The fact that Houston (pictured above with mogul-mentor Clive Davis) no longer looks like a homeless crack ho might also be a factor. SEMI-RELATED: Let's enjoy this tune from Islands -- Don't Call Me Whitney, Bobby.

BRITNEY SPEARS' trashtastic parenting is about to be ripped from today's headlines for the season premiere of Law & Order o­n September 22nd.

BRADGELINA: Pitt needs Boudreaux's Butt Paste, which, as it turns out, isn't as fun as it sounds to the childless.

MADONNA: The Russian parliament is blocking a plan to send Madge to the international space station. Won't they do anything to make the world a better place?

JIM CARREY and STEVE CARELL, who co-starred in Bruce Almighty, will be heard together again for a CGI-animated feature film of Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who.

TOM-KAT UPDATE: You can bet Cruise will be unhappy with an upcoming book by former Tony Pellicano associate Paul Barresi -- especially this interview with a a p0rn star named "Big Red." Cruise's lawyers, otoh, may be delighted.

KATIE COURIC has slid to third place in the evening news ratings after a week. Meanwhile, Couric's exit didn't put a dent in the Today show's ratings at NBC. The execs at CBS that decided to pay her 20 million aren't exactly looking like geniuses right now.

KATE HUDSON and CHRIS ROBINSON UPDATE: US Weekly reports that Hudson had a secret, sexy beach getaway with Owen "the Butterscotch Stallion" Wilson" in Hawaii this week.

JOAQUIN PHOENIX and EVA MENDEZ: Caught canoodling at Unik's party for Wyclef Jean last week.

THE FRENCH HOTEL was caught canoodling o­n video with Blink 182's Travis Barker. His estranged wife Shanna Moakler tells People that she feels "betrayed" by the news.

BORAT: British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen will be o­n the agenda when Kazakhstan's Pres. Nazarbayev meets with Pres. Bush. Cohen (also the creator of Ali G) has infuriated the Kazakhstan government with his portrayal of bumbling Kazakh TV presenter Borat, which has become an upcoming movie (here's the trailer). A spokesman for the Kazakhstan Embassy says: "I cannot speak for the president himself, o­nly for the government, but I certainly don't think Pres Nazarbayev and Mr Bush will share a joke about the film." Though it would be a smarter PR move if they did.

IRAQ and the MEDIA: Monday, the Washington Post ran a piece by Thomas Ricks about the dire situation in Anbar province. I didn't note it here immediately, because it was based o­n a report that he had not read and no o­ne would quote to him, and because Ricks recently had to backpedal from crazy stuff he said o­n CNN. Wednesday, Ricks penned an article headlined "General Affirms Anbar Analysis." I know that writers generally don't write their headlines, but that o­ne reflects the article. Yet The New York Times headline is "Grim Report Out of Anbar Is Disputed by General." The reality is a little more complex than either account. The US did not focus o­n Anbar until last Fall. Some Sunni tribesmen have joined the new government, but this also drove extremists in those tribes to AQ in Iraq. Meanwhile, the Iraqi Army has taken the lead in Tal Afar, and there is continued success recruiting more police in Anbar generally. But that's not as "sexy" a story as super-secret reports of doom.

ARMY RECRUITMENT: As long as I'm o­n the WaPo, I'll note that Ann Scott Tyson was forced to concede that the Army will meet its goal of recruiting 80K new active-duty soldiers this fiscal year, but warns that meeting next year's active-duty recruiting target of 80K will remain a major challenge. She made the same argument in February to suggest the Army was in danger of falling short this year. You would think that Ms. Tyson, having been caught relying o­n bogus statistics o­n Army recruits from an antiwar group by the papers ombudswoman less than a year ago, she would be more careful. But maybe she knows more about the journalistic standards at the WaPo than I do.

BIG BOY, the nearly 10-foot long gator that starred in Live and Let Die, as well as TV and commercials, is to be stuffed and put o­n display in Britain after fans left flowers and tributes following his death at age 45.

SNAKE in a JAIL requires treatment for an inmate and a correctional officer in Indiana.

HEY, IS THAT A SNAKE IN YOUR KNICKERS? Yes.

CHA CHA the Havanese dog talks to Barbara Walters, but remains silent around other humans, just to gaslight her.

TAPING BACON TO THE CAT: John Scalzi admits that he is "a strange, strange, strange man." Pic at the link, natch.

A GROUPER kills a spear-fisherman. It's like The Old Man and the Sea, o­nly more stupid.