OFFICE:  The Chicago combo secured the services of 80s pr0n stars in this safe-for-work video for "Oh My," from their album dropping on the 25th.  If you find it catchy, you can stream a few more at OfficeSpace.

NEW RELEASES:  Rogue Wave, Kevin Drew, Hard-Fi, Eddie Vedder, The Wombats and Jesca Hoop are among those streaming this week via Spinner.  Noise fans should check out the self-titled debut from Health, and the second solo LP from Thurston Moore (though it isn't noisy at all compared to Sonic Youth).  Angular post-punks Les Savy Fav return with Let's Stay Friends, the follow-up to 2001's Go Forth.

KEVIN DREW gives an in-depth interview to PopMatters on how his solo LP wasn't the album he set out to make, and talks to Canada's Globe & Mail about how taking a break wasn't a break.

THE GO! TEAM:  Robert Christgau gives an audio review (w/streaming tracks) of Proof Of Youth for NPR. 

THE NATIONAL:  Matt Berninger reflects on overnight success after eight years: "We never expected to be a known band, and I think that might have sustained us.. The idea of being a popular band was utterly foreign."

JAN & DEAN:  It turns out that not even my Dad knew that "Surf City" was mostly written by Brian Wilson, so I figured I would slip it in before the Summer officially ends.  Toss in a fan-made vid for "Dead Man's Curve" and you have Twofer Tuesday, not to mention an argument between Barry & Dick.  FYI, technically, neither Barry nor Dick is right, though Dick is closer to the truth.

IRON & WINE:  Sam Beam talks to London's Telegraph about a number of things, including licensing his songs for ads:  "People ask about the commercials a lot. I don't really get it. It's not like my songs are being used in army recruitment commercials. If I had the luxury of not having to license my music, I probably wouldn't, but I have four daughters and four sets of education to pay for."

ARCADE FIRE:  Win Butler talks to the Denver Post about connecting to songs that document a certain time or place, while Will Butler answers five questions for the Rocky Mountain News, including what he has learned from touring: "I see how universally the world is screwed up. It's not just an American creation..."

MAXIMO PARK has started asking for wacky items in their contract rider, such as a Vivienne Westwood necktie.  Also, Paul Smith talks about Elvis Presley.

AMY WINEHOUSE may be back to her alarming self-harming ways.  And is it a good sign when Pete Doherty writes a song about you?

OJ SIMPSON's confrontation with a sports memorabilia dealer that led to his arrest on felony robbery charges was tape recorded (and it's nsfw) by Thomas Riccio, who co-owns the auction house Universal Rarities... and once tried to sell Anna Nicole Smith's diaries.  It appears that Riccio tipped Simpson about the memorabilia allegedly taken at gunpoint from a Vegas hotel room.

OWEN WILSON:  The comic actor's decision to forego traditional rehab prompts ABCNews to do a story on the newer method of treatment called sober companionship.

ROSIE O'DONNELL is full of rage, has a profound distrust of men, craves pub lic adoration, shows signs of post-traumatic stress disorder and dishes out her anger mostly to women because of deep-seated abandonment issues over her mother's death, said a psychiatrist after reading her book.  I was under the impression that psychiatrists are not supposed to diagnose non-patients, but is this anything we didn't already know?

BARRY MANILOW has pulled out of -- or been kicked out of -- his scheduled appearance on The View today -- because he strongly disagrees with host Elisabeth Hasselbeck's conservative view.  Guess he can't man up like Rosie did.  BONUS:  A Colorado judge is sentencing noise polluters to listen to Manilow.

LINDSAY LOHAN is substituting her alcohol and drug addiction with a sex addiction, according to the ever-reliable Star magazine.  Given her pre-hab behavior, how could you tell?

BRITNEY SPEARS had a bad day.  Again.  A former bodyguard filed a declaration in her custody battle with Fed-Ex, which alleges "nudity, drug use and safety issues post-rehab."  The pop tart was dumped by her lawyer and by her management agency.  She has been banned from L.A.'s exclusive Chateau Marmont hotel after a string of complaints over her oddball behavior.  And her VMAs trainwreck may be undermining any momentum that her first single in three years was building.  Meanwhile, Entertainment Tonight reported that the FBI and the LAPD are investigating legitimate leads on a contract hit on Fed-Ex's life.  However, TMZ said reports of an FBI investigation are completely untrue - but an LAPD investigation was conducted in the past.  Spears must be so glad OJ got busted on Sunday.

BRADGELINA:  Jolie recalls her bummer of an acid trip at Disneyland.

PAMELA ANDERSON secretly engaged or married to Rick Solomon -- the other star of the French Hotel's X-rated video?  And here I thought it would be hard to top Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as husbands...

KATE MOSS whisked her new beau, Kills guitarist Jamie Hince, off for a weekend in the country to introduce him to her close circle of friends, including Kelly Osbourne.

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY claims she is "twice the size" of most actresses in Hollywood, which seems... unlikely.

BRETT SOMERS, who amused game show fans with her quips on the Match Game in the 1970s, has died of stomach and colon cancer, her son said. She was 83.  Her death closely follows that of fellow panelist Charles Nelson Reilly, placing surviving Match Game regulars in danger of completing the trifecta.

ELISHA CUTHBERT:  A blog called Geno's World claims that a pr0n tape involving the 24 actress is being shopped around.  If that's not true, I would not want to be Geno.  Not because of the threat of legal action so much as being the target of disappointed Cuthbert fans.

CARTOON JIHAD:  A Swedish artist threatened with death over his drawing of Islam's Prophet Mohammed has been told by police he is no longer safe living at home.

IRAN reacted with fury to remarks by French Foreign Minister Bernard Kouchner that that the international community had to "prepare for the worst" and then characterized the worst as "war," a statement that made waves in the news media and the diplomatic community. On Monday, however, Mr. Kouchner toned down his language, saying that France remained committed to a peaceful solution of the Iranian nuclear issue.  Yet even some of UN nuclear watchdog Mohamed El Baradei's own staff is questioning his leadership and what they see as his sympathy for the Iranians.

IRAQ:  US troops captured 12 Iraqis suspected of links with Iranian paramilitaries; killed 7 al-Qaeda linked militants, and detained 31 others in the latest raids in Baghdad yesterday.  Coalition forces captured a suspected longtime AQI terrorist during an operation Sept. 4 in Tarmiyah.  Blogger Bill Roggio reports on efforts to improve reconstruction efforts in Fallujah by working with mukhtars -- officials appointed during the Saddam Hussein era akin to "city sheiks" or "block captains."  Bombs, mortars and gunfire left dozens dead and injured within hours of insurgents announcing a Ramadan offensive (as they tend to have every Ramadan).  However, the current civilian casualty toll stands at 406 -- one-quarter of the number for August, so that offensive would have to include a series of massive attacks to stop the downward trend.

A SPOOKED CAT that was stuck 60-feet high in a willow for a week was at last blasted out of the tree last night by a high pressure water hose and landed - soaked but perfectly safe - into an outstretched sheet.

AN INCURIOUS CAT ignores the taunts of a mouse within paw's reach.  Pics at the link.

TEN RUSSIAN GERBILS have blasted into space for a 12-day mission to test the possible effects on humans of a flight to Mars.

A 12-FOOT GATOR bit off and swallowed a man's arm Sunday afternoon in Lake Moultrie, NC.  Department of Natural Resource officers then shot the 600-pound gator and retrieved the Summerville man's arm from its belly.  Doctors are waiting to see whether the operation to re-attach the arm has been successful.  Graphic pics at the link.

COWS stare unamazed -- but with a case of the munchies --as a pro-cannabis group from New Zealand claims to have scientific evidence that cannabis can stop the development of mad cow disease.

OVER FOUR MILLION PAGES SERVED, as of Friday night.  Thanks to all for stopping by!

THE SUPERFANTASTICS' video for "Tonight, Tonite" has much more to do with Sesame Street's Teeny Little Super Guy than the similarly titled Smashing Pumpkins tune.  If you find it as charming as I do, you may want to stream a few more from the band.

PAUL WESTERBERG... DOT NET:  a new website that looks to be a trove for Westernerds and old skool 'Mats fans as well.

PAUL WESTERBERG vs. RYAN ADAMS:  Crawdaddy compares and contrasts two shaggy dogs.

GRIZZLY BEAR brought in the Dirty Projectors and Biruit to beef up a new version of "Alligator" (from their 2004 debut Horn Of Plenty) for Friend, a new 10-track collection of new material, covers, collaborations, and "reworked & re-recorded" material.  Stereogum is streaming both versions for your A/B Boss Comparison.

NEIL YOUNG:  You can hear Young's 18-minute "Ordinary People" in advance of the release of Chrome Dreams II (along with an album preview) via Rolling Stone.

CONTROL:  London's Observer talks to the cast of the Ian Curtis biopic and the surviving members of Joy Division.  ICYMI, here's a re-link to the trailer for the movie.

ST. VINCENT:  Annie Clark covers The Beatles' "I Dig A Pony" in a Black Cab session occurring exactly wher you would guess.

FEIST gets a piece in London's Guardan/Observer, in which she reveals she's been asked to back the Police for an MTV Unplugged session and having her photo taken by Annie Leibovitz.  And you can check out a more rockin' take on "1 2 3 4," plus two more, at VH1 (which says it's Unplugged, but is lying).

STING:  I hope that someone gets my...  I hope that someone gets my... massage in a brothel?

RILO KILEY stopped by The Current for a chat and miniset you can stream on demand via MPR.

ARETHA FRANKLIN talks to People magazine about dropping pounds on the treadmill and a possible biopic.

AMY WINEHOUSE, otoh, having lost weight as an addict, is piling the on pounds with a junk food diet.

OJ SIMPSON was arrested on Sunday amid an investigation into an alleged armed robbery at a hotel in Las Vegas.  He could face felony charges including robbery with a deadly weapon, conspiracy to commit robbery and burglary with a firearm.  The killer and former running back had been questioned by Las Vegas police in relation to  a Thursday night break-in of a Palace Station hotel room, in which Simpson and five other men alllegedly and took various memorabilia once owned by Simpson -- at gunpoint.  Sports memorabilia collector Alfred Beardsley, the alleged victim, told TMZ Saturday that OJ apologized to him and said that police advised him to "work it out amongst themselves" in order to resolve the property issue.  Guess it didn't get worked out.  Co-arrestee Walter Alexander has about a week to roll on The Juice.  TMZ has video of OJ's new perp walk, while The Smoking Gun has OJ's new mugshot.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE:  In another slow weekend at the cinema, The Brave One was good enough for the top spot with about 14 million.   3:10 To Yuma placed with 9.2 million, dropping a respectable 35%, but still underperforming.  Mr. Woodcock debuted in third with 9.1 million, but rumor has it that the budget here crept as high as 45 million, so ouch.  South Korea's Dragon Wars came in fourth with 5.4 million, better than it likely deserves, but with about 55 million in overseas receipts, it's gravy.  Suprebad rounds out the Top Five with another 5.2 million.  Rob Zombie's Halloween dropped another 47% and four slots with 5 million.  The Bourne Ultimatum took in another 4.1 million in its seventh weekend.  Balls of Fury adds another 3.3 million as it lands in eighth place, edgeing out Rush Hour 3.  Mr. Bean's Holiday clung to the bottom of the Top Ten with 2.6 million.

THE EMMYS were last night.  The Envelope has your complete list of winners, as well as some odd moments from the proceedings.  So does AOL.

BRITNEY SPEARS:  Her "brain trust" was supposedly going to have a strategy meeting/ intervention over the weekend.  It would seem that the pop tart has been talking to the folks at Maxim magazine about doing a photo shoot, where she can be Photoshopped back into an object of desire.  The Manolo points us to a "Truther" video purporting to explain the VMAs disaster.  The uber-reliable News of the World claims that Spears plans to offer Fed-Ex a multi-million dollar cash-for-kids deal to get joint custody of her sons.  Roger Friedman claims that Spears could lose custody of her two little kids as early as this morning.  This is based on Gloria Allred's "secret witness," in whom the judge did not seem interested before, but it would gibe with prior reports of Spears meeting with Fed-Ex in an attempt to head off this morning's hearing.  We'll know soon enough.

MADONNA, while in Israel for the high holidays, declared herself an "ambassador for Judaism."  Oy vey!

OWEN WILSON has shown for the first time the scars from his suicide bid.  The Daily Mail has the pics.

JESSICA SIMPSON is reportedly planning to have a baby by her gay hairdresser Ken Paves within the next six months.  Probably untrue, but definitely too funny to pass up.

LINDSAY LOHAN will continue her stay at the Cirque Lodge rehab facility for the foreseeable future.

SIENNA MILLER is pretty much naked in the movie Hippie Hippie Shake, based on the 60s-era hedonistic memoirs of the Australian journalist Richard Neville.  Pics at the link, some of which are liekly nsfw.

COURTNEY LOVE:  The Daily Mail wants to know what happened to her lips... and the pics at the link are pretty bad.

PAMELA ANDERSON has admitted she paid off a £125,000 poker debt with sexual favors.

RYAN PHILLIPPE claims that he contemplated suicide following the breakdown of his six-year marriage to Reese Witherspoon.

JAMES BROLIN came down with a huge case of foot-in-mouth disease when he cheerfully wished everybody "Happy 9/11!" on a radio show, in NYC no less.  Breitbart has the audio.  Of course, we sorta knew he was crazy when he married Barbra Streisand.

MIDEAST MYSTERY:  London's Observer claims that the Israeli airstrike on Syria can be seen as a dry run for a strike on Iran, a raid using the same heavily modified long-range aircraft, procured specifically from the US with Iran's nuclear sites in mind.  Speculation abounded about nuclear material being bound for Hezbollah or Iran, mounted on a Syrian Scud missile or being hidden for North Korea.  What leaps out to me is that the rest of the Middle East, which would normally howl over an Israeli attack, has been as silent as the Hound of the Baskervilles.

CARTOON JIHAD:  The Washington Post's ombudsman thinks the Post editors overreacted in killing two "Opus" strips with a Muslim theme; not even the Council on American-Islamic Relations (an unindicted co-conspirator in a terror-finance trial ongoing in TX) had an objection to them.  Meanwhile, the head of an al Qaeda-led group in Iraq has offered 100K for the killing of a Swedish cartoonist for his drawing of Islam's Prophet Mohammed.

FORMER JIHADIS Maajid Nawaz and Ahmad al Shayea explain how they came to leave the ranks of the terrorists.

IRAQ:  An al-Qaida front group threatened to assassinate Sunni leaders who support American troops in Iraq, but Sunni Arab tribesmen have vowed revenge for the killing of Sheikh Abdul Sattar Abu Risha, a leader of the Anbar Salvation Council.  At the Sheikh's funeral, mourners chanted "There is no God but Allah and al-Qaeda is the enemy of Allah."  US commanders in southern Iraq say Shiite sheiks are showing interest in joining forces with the US military against extremists, in much the same way that Sunni clansmen have in the western part of the country.  Sheik Majid Tahir al-Magsousi, the leader of the Migasees tribe, said last week's assassination of Sheikh Risha only made the Shiite tribal leaders more resolute.  The US military said it captured an insurgent believed linked to the assassination and said he had also been involved in a plot to kill tribal leaders in Anbar.  Iraqi Special Ops Forces, advised by US Special Forces, killed an extremist company commander during an intelligence driven operation two days ago in Diwaniyah.  Moqtada al-Sadr's bloc quit Iraq's ruling Shi'ite Alliance again, leaving Prime Minister al-Maliki's coalition in a precarious position in parliament.  US SecDef Gates hopes to drop US troop levels to 100K by Jan '09... news sorta leaked by Iraq's NSA last week.  Bloggers Bill Roggio and Bill Ardolino were among those who got to question Pres. Bush last week via a videoconference from Iraq.

GATOR WRASSLIN:  Two Altamonte Springs, FL police officers were ordered to attend counseling sessions after wrestling an alligator at a Seminole County apartment complex.  Let's go to the video.

A HEDGEHOG is recovering after surviving a spin in a 40-degree washing machine cycle near West Sussex, Britain.

A RABID FOX was choked to death by a 16-year-old boy was attacked and bitten by the crazy creature.

A DONKEY had to be rescued from a well by Underwood, MN, Fire Department personnel.  Sorta like the Jessica McClure story, but with a donkey.

A YOUNG IGUANA is enjoying its new home at the Blackpool Zoo after being smuggled into Britain in a bra.  As if the lizard did not enjoy its old home...

THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE:

...with T.REX!  Mastermind Marc Bolan died in a car wreck (a MINI Cooper with backup singer Gloria Jones at the wheel, no less) 30 years ago this weekend, so it seems timely to remember him and his band with a few items off the beaten path, like this working version of "Get It On (Bang A Gong)," which is a little nsfw toward the end (the original version is in today's Cutout Bin).  This live radio version of "20th Century Boy" is interesting, though the original is still tops.  French TV is the source for live clips of "Hot Love" and "Jeepster" circa 1972, as well as "Ride A White Swan" from 1971. The band's "Baby Strange" later found its way into Big Star's setlists.  Bolan fan russsmiff1 has posted documentaries including The Story Of Marc Bolan & T.Rex, while trexmania07 has posted Who Got Marc Bolan´s Millions?

BOB DYLAN allows me to send a special message to you.

REGINA SPEKTOR talks to the Baltimore Sun about expanding the sounds on her latest album, Begin To Hope.  There are MP3s at the link, but I recently revisited her MySpace page and decided I liked her even more than I first thought, so perhaps you will also.

SIOUXSIE SIOUX talks make-up and deep-sea diving with London's Telegraph.  And song-writing.  Video at the link, too.

BETTYE LaVETTE & DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS gave Pitchfork "Before the Money Came" before the album came out, and it's smokin'.

THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS, in keeping with their new Challengers album, are issuing odd YouTube challenges to their fans; one prize in the contests will be the right to challenge the band.

BEIRUT is making special live videos for all the songs on the upcoming Flying Club Cup album with La Blogotheque.  The first two, "Nantes" (played in a stairwell, as pictured) and "The Penalty" are already posted.

MANU CHAO:  London's Telegraph lists 10 reasons why he is global pop's most important star, and points you to several videos.

PRINCE is considering legal action against a number of websites - including eBay and YouTube - which he says encourage piracy of his music and videos.

RILO KILEY drummer Jason Boesel talks to NOW Toronto (with audio clips) about the polarized response to the band's latest LP, Under The Blacklight.  You can sample the polarized responses via Metacritic.

PETE DOHERTY is reportedly in talks with television executives to become the manager of his own soccer team for a reality series.

CUTOUT BIN:  This Friday's fortuitous finds from the ol' HM are: Led Zeppelin - Rock And Roll; Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - I'm Walkin' (F. Domino); Bruce Springsteen - Heartbreak Hotel (Elvis Presley); Little Richard - Tutti Frutti; Marshall Crenshaw - Someday, Someway; Heavy Trash - Crazy Pritty Baby; U2 - Desire; Morphine - Thursday; Lucky Soul - One Kiss Don't Make A Summer (Radio Edit); Jens Lekman - A Postcard To Nina; Elvis Costello & the Attractions - Pump It Up; R.E.M. - It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine); Sniff And The Tears - Drivers Seat; Buggles - Video Killed The Radio Star; The Cars - Candy-O; Smoosh - Find A Way; The Go! Team - Panther Dash; The Langley Schools Music Project - Sweet Caroline; Neil Diamond - Kentucky Woman; Earth Wind & Fire - September; Stevie Wonder - Higher Ground; Steely Dan - My Old School; Band of Bees - Listening Man; Deee-Lite - You Sexy Thing (Hot Chocolate); T.Rex - Get It On; Kiss - Rock And Roll All Nite; Mott The Hoople - All The Young Dudes; and Cat Stevens (a/k/a Yusuf Islam) - The Wind.

BRITNEY SPEARS is trying to avoid a public hearing in her child custody battle with Fed-Ex.  Hip-hop super-producer Timbaland told MTV News that Spears had ruined a planned collaboration with Justin Timberlake with her ginormous ego.  London's Sun claims that Spears was so freaked before the VMAs that she took enough prescription drugs to floor an elephant.  But the American Idol judges have issued an open call to the pop tart to let them manage her crumbling career.  "We have decided we can bring Britney back," Simon Cowell said. "We are serious. We plan to buy her underpants, get her bigger shorts to perform in and get her away from her stupid friends."

NOW SHOWING:  This weekend's wide releases are: Jodie Foster's revenge flick, The Brave One, which is currently scoring 53 percent on the ol' Tomatometer; The Billy Bob Thornton-Dane Cook comedy Mr. Woodcock, currently scoring 19 percent, and Dragon Wars, which was not screened for critics and may set back diplomatic relations with South Korea several years.

OWEN WILSON is reportedly in that small group who thought Mr. Woodcock was funny.  US Weekly also claims that the Wilson clan is not angry with Owen's ex-gf kate Hudson, just her friends.

HEATH LEDGER was... wait for it... caught canoodling Helena Christensen at a Tuesday night dinner, just a week after announcing his split from Michelle Williams.

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL's Vanessa Hudgens was caught faux-canoodling a girlfriend.  Harmless stuff, but probably not good timing after that nude pic turned up on the Internet, which caused her to cancel last night's scheduled Tonight Show appearance.

EWAN MacGREGOR & COLIN FARRELL are friends and lovers... or so MacGregor told the press at the premiere of their film, Cassandra's Dream, in Toronto.  Farrell confirmed this moments later: "We're lovers, but only physically. No movies, no dinners, or long meaningful conversations caring about how the other person is doing in their lives."  BONUS:  The last time Farrell was in Toronto a local radio station offered 2000 to the person who could bring him in for an interview, so Farrell took a homeless man to the station for the money... and gave the man another 10000 in cash and gifts a few days ago.

REESE WITHERSPOON & JAKE GYLLENHAAL, after six months of on-and-off dating, are reportedly kaput, but perhaps not permanently.

DEMI MOORE, after spending 450K on cosmetic surgery and still not getting big-money parts she had presumably hoped to win - has decided to speak out against ageism in Hollywood.

THE BEST & WORST-DRESSED CELEBS, according to People magazine.  The NYDN has the highlights, but there's complete coverage at the mag's website.

JESSICA ALBA:  On-again bf Cash Warren has threatened to sue the National Enquirer over a scandalous expose which claims he cheated on Alba with a Russian model.

THE 100 BEST TV SHOWS of ALL-TIME, according to Time magazine -- with plenty of video clips, though they had none for The Ernie Kovacs Show, so I felt compelled to link The Nairobi Trio.  I also feel compelled to note that Time had to censor the clip for Deadwood; apparently, you cannot find 30 seconds of that show where someone doesn't drop the F-bomb.

TERROR in TEXAS?  Texas' top homeland security official says that terrorists with ties to Hezbollah, Hamas and al-Qaeda have been arrested crossing the Texas border with Mexico in recent years.  His remarks are similar to those made recently by National Intelligence Director Mike McConnell, who last month told the El Paso Times that a small number of people with known links to terrorist organizations have been caught crossing the border.

MIDEAST MYSTERY:  Turkey provided Israel with intelligence on targets in Syria prior to last week's alleged Israeli Air Force flyover into the country and did not coordinate the move with Prime Minister Erdogan, Kuwaiti newspaper Al-Jarida claimed on Thursday.  If true, why?  Concern over a rumored Syrian nuclear facility being built with help from North Korea?

OUR FRIENDS, THE SAUDIS: Despite some efforts as an ally in the war on terror, not one person identified by the US and the UN as a terror financier has been prosecuted by the Saudis, Stuart Levey, the under secretary of the Treasury in charge of tracking terror financing, told ABC News.

IRAQ:  Sheik Abdul Sattar Abu Risha, a leader of the Anbar Salvation Council, was killed Thursday afternoon when a bomb exploded outside his house.  His legacy seemed to unite Iraqi leaders across the sectarian spectrum.  Abu Risha's fellow tribal leaders, along with US military officials, vowed to protect the Anbar Salvation Council and carry on his mission, and said they expected his death would galvanize further support.  A joint three-day operation between Iraqi troops and US Special Forces netted 80 prisoners and killed three suspects in eastern Iraq.  US forces killed and detained 95 terrorists and demolished a house rigged with explosives in operations targeting Al-Qaeda in northern Baghdad.  Bill Roggio reports on counter-insurgency sucesses in the Triangle of Death, southeast of Baghdad.  Defense sources told Washington's Examiner that Iran has recalled the Qods Forces out of concern that more Iranian operatives would be captured and disclose valuable information about how Iran is funding, training and arming Iraqi Shiites.  But the Qods are only part of Iran's Revolutionary Guards.

PIG on a TOILET:  Let's go to the video.

AN ABANDONED MONKEY finds love with a pigeon at an animal sanctuary in China.  Awww...some photo at the link.

PUPPIES have learned how to scam people on the Internet.

MISSING BOA CONSTRICTOR:  Her owner fears for the life... of the snake.  Priorities.

FEMALE CHIMPS love the bad boys, as if they would be any different.

HARD-FI:  The DIY rockers perform a set for AOL Sessions and talk to the Manchester Eveneing News about renovating the old taxi office where they recorded their debut before recording their sophomore effort.  If you haven't heard 'em before, there's a distinct Clash influence.

LED ZEPPELIN officially announced the band will headline the Nov. 26 tribute to the late Ahmet Ertegun, who founded Atlantic Records in 1947.  Pete Townshend, Bill Wyman and the Rhythm Kings (possibly with Mick Jagger), Foreigner and Paolo Nutini are also scheduled.  Tickets are to be awarded by lottery via a website which has already crashed due to excessive traffic.  The BBC recounts the legend of Led Zeppelin.  And you can get the Led out via the ol' HM.

KEVIN DREW:  The Broken Social Scenester's solo LP is streaming in full via MuchMusic.  (Thx, Chromewaves.)

PORTLAND:  Slate proclaims the city America's indie-rock Mecca, which causes Seattlest to hold a roundtable on whether Portland is cooler than Seattle.

EDDIE VEDDER:  The Pearl Jammer's solo LP/sdtk for Into The Wild is streaming in full from WROV, "The Rock of Virginia." (Thx, Heather Browne.)

THE GO! TEAM mastermind Ian Parton talks to Paste magazine about vintage Sesame Street cartoons, "The Wrath of Marcie," country music and more.  Which reminds me to post the video for "Keys To The City" (which adds some surftastic guitars to the mix) and to note again that the entire Proof Of Youth album is streaming this week via Spinner.

NEW PORNOGRAPHERS frontman A.C. Newman talks to the SFBG about the expanded palette of sound on the band's new album and to Filter about all things Summer.

BATTLES:  Despite being a geek, their proggy math rock somehow fails to press my buttons so far.  But they clearly work for lots of people -- their debut was widely acclaimed.  So you may want to check out the streaming review of the album at NPR to decide for yourself.

WIRED's Listening Post blog  lists "Five Reasons MP3 Blogs Could Be the Next Record Labels."

PETE DOHERTY-KATE MOSS UPDATE:  Supermodel Naomi Campbell seems delighted that the troubled singer is out of the supposedly sober supermodel's life.  Pete should take note, as Naomi will slap him or bean him with a cellphone...

BRITNEY SPEARS, like everyone else, was traumatized watching her VMAs debacle, as she could see herself on monitors in the auditorium:  "Oh, my God, I looked like a fat pig! I looked like a fat pig!"  This despite using an ab-defining spray tan preshow to create the illusion of more tone.  It didn't help that her hair stylist quit when the pop tart either insisted on his female assistants (according to her camp) or was overruled in wanting brown hair (according to people backstage), with the result that she ended up wearing Jessica Simpson's hair extensions.  Former Hollywood publicist turned blogger Jonathan Jaxson claims that Spears was not only drinking, but also doing cocaine (allegedly) before the show.  Nevertheless, Britney's trainwreck was golden for MTV.  Ratings-wise, the VMAs averaged 7.1 million total viewers, up 23 percent compared with last year's near-record-low 5.8 million. It was the highest-rated ad-supported cable telecast this year in the targeted 12-34 year-old demographic.  It sent record traffic to MTV.com.  The story of how she came to do the VMAs gets coverage in the NYT.  Now Spears must decide whether to try to reedem herself in front of record and radio executives by performing at the NAB Radio Show's R&R Convention later this month in Charlotte, NC.

CHRIS CROCKER is getting his 15 minutes with the video "Leave Britney Alone!" (nsfw), which has had more than 2.3 million hits on the Tube.

BRITNEY SPEARS & MADONNA:   Muslim terrorist leaders threatened to forcibly convert Britney Spears and Madonna to Islam and warned if they resist, their heads would be cut off for "spreading Satanic culture," according to a new book released yesterday.

ROSIE O'DONNELL used to break her own limbs with either a baseball bat or a wooden hanger when she was a child, according to her upcoming book.  So the insanity is not a new development.

REESE WITHERSPOON tells Elle magazine that she was struck by panic attacks months after the breakdown of her marriage to Ryan Phillippe.  And she is none too thrilled about renewed attention from the paparazzi: "It's one thing if you're up for it and you want it, and you go out without your panties on.  But if you're wearing panties - gosh darn it, leave me alone!"

BRAD PITT & EDWARD NORTON are re-teaming for something... are we allowed to talk about it?

JON STEWART is getting another shot at the Oscar podium, but neither he nor the Academy is talking about it.  Which is apparently the first rule of Oscars hosting.  Nikki Finke puzzles over the decision.

GEORGE CLOONEY gives a seminar in how to get good press from the paparazzi.  Video at the link.

THE FRENCH HOTEL has so many pets she has to employ a zookeeper to look after them all.

OPRAH WINFREY, like the late Queen of Mean Leona Helmsley, is leaving tens of millions to her dogs in her will.

KATHY GRIFFIN is getting ripped by the Catholic League for her speech accepting a Creative Arts Emmy for her reality TV show:  "A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this. He had nothing to do with this... suck it Jesus, this award is my God now."  Obviously, the "suck it" part is out of line; she would never say that about Allah for fear of death threats or actual murder.  OTOH, I can't believe the Catholic League -- or anyone else -- would think that Jesus actually had something to do with Griffin's Emmy.

OSAMA BIN LADEN:  As folks debate the authenticity of the latest OBL tapes, Neal Krawetz, an expert on digital image forensics, says the video released on 9/7 contained many visual and audio splices, and that all of the modifications were of very low quality.  Fir background, Wired recently blogged a piece on Krawetz's detection software.

IRAN's nuclear transparency deal with UN inspectors could be a recipe for delay and the lack of provision for suspending Tehran's uranium enrichment is unacceptable, European Union powers said on Wednesday.  Given yesterday's claim that Germany was more interested in a US airstrike than more UN sanctions, the tough talk from the German Ambassador is notable, though our State Dept. says Germany remains fully supportive of new UN sanctions.  Meanwhile, Pres. Ahmadinejad took what CNN calls a "hard line" against Israel, saying it "cannot continue its life."

IRAQ:  The German Press Agency reports that an Iranian intelligence officer and an al-Qaeda terrorist network leader in Salahaddin province were killed in a US raid in the city of Samarra.  US military officials tell ABC News that a rocket used in an attack on coalition headquarters at Camp Victory Tuesday was made in Iran.  US and Iraqi forces have captured more than 50 suspected insurgents during raids this week.  The AP talked to soldiers at FOB Delta about the main points of Gen. David Petraeus' testimony to Congress.  Iraq expects the number of US troops in the war-torn country to fall to 100,000 by the end of next year, according to Iraq's National Security Adviser.  Blogger Michael J. Totten has pics of the devastaion in Ramadi before it became perhaps the safest city in all of Iraq outside of Kurdistan: "Almost everywhere I have been in the Middle East is more "normal" than it appears in the media... Ramadi, in my experience, is the great exception. Ramadi was worse than it appeared in the media."  Michael Yon's latest dispatch is from Combat Outpost White Castle in downtown Baqubah, where he writes about (among other things) working with the 1920 Revolution Brigades.

300 CATS:  This is SPARTA!  But with cats.

CUTE CUBS:  Calusa, a 2-month-old Florida panther cub, debuts at Lowry Park Zoo near Tampa, while a tiny Asiatic lion born only days ago is now being hand-reared at the Chester Zoo near Liverpool, England.  Awww...some pics at the links, natch.

A MASSIVE WILD BOAR -- one of 100 set free from a farm by animal rights activists -- had to be shot dead outside Devon, as up to 175 wild boars now ter up crops and terrorize dog walkers in the area.

A SAD TAIL:  A male chow mix laid down in the middle of a busy street to keep watch over its companion, a female German shepherd mix, after it was hit and killed by a car in Denver.

MAGGOT ART is creeping its way into more elementary school classrooms, according to the Dallas Morning News.  Pics and video at the link.

CRACKER frontman David Lowery has posted a new solo track on his blog, titled "Baby, All Those Girls Meant Nothing To Me."  The full band has video and free downloads available via the "Basement Tapes" ConcertLiveWire is capturing of bands passing through the Chicagoland area.

ALL SONGS CONSIDERED is currently streaming tracks from the New Pornographers, Bishop Allen, Josh Ritter, The Go! Team, Manu Chao and Kenyan dance music from Extra Golden.

BLUR are to set to record together as a four-piece for the first time since 2002, when guitarist Graham Coxon left the band.

VAN HALEN:  Blabbermouth has a report from a rehearsal for the 3/4ths reunion, complete with set list.  I may have to see this.

DRUG RUG was SPIN magazine's "Band of the Day" yesterday, so I thought I would mention their album is streaming this week via Spinner.  It opens with old radio sounds; my friends know how much I love that.

THE NATIONAL tell an "Apartment Story" in the latest video from The Boxer album.

MP3s and the iPod are killing music quality, according to folks in the biz.  I would add that just as they have shifted the biz back towards singles, the loss in fidelity also takes us back to the days when records were produced with AM radio play in mind.  But a lot of great records were made in that era.

BLACK REBEL MOTORCYCLE CLUB has a gig from the the "secret stage" of the Bumbershoot Music Lounge streaming via NPR.  I'm still a sucker for the slide-guitar blues of "Ain't No Easy Way."

NEIL YOUNG:  Stylus has a honkin' list of Young covers.  An Aquarium Drunkard has Built to Spill's cover of "Cortez the Killer," plus video of the original, not to mention MP3 rips from the super-slick vinyl transfer of Time Fades Away, long out-of-print and never released as a CD.  You can jukebox those via the ol' HM.  Young has also announced tour dates; ticket purchasers will receive an advance copy of his new album.

AMY WINEHOUSE's mother is restricting her to a £300 a week budget to prevent her spending more on drugs.

JOE ZAWINUL, who shook up jazz with Cannonball Adderley, Miles Davis, and Weather Report, has died at 75.  He had been hospitalized since last month and suffered from a rare form of skin cancer.

BRITNEY SPEARS showed up for her big comeback late, unprepared and with a drink in her hand, according to Page Six.  "The dance number was spectacular - without her," said their spy at rehearsal.

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, otoh, skipped the MTV VMA after-parties and opted for dinner with his two favorite ladies - his mom and his girlfriend Jessica Biel.  If Britney Spears wasn't a train wreck from the get-go, you could almost understand how having herr ex-boyfriend show up to the same party with Jessica Biel would drive her to drink.

MADONNA and director hubby Guy Ritchie were spotted leaving Claridges Hotel in London on Monday.  Madge was seen carrying a "Purple Penetrator" strap-on sex toy in a clear plastic bag.

OWEN WILSON is reportedly saying no, no, no to rehab, instead opting to hire a a 750-dollar-a-day sober companion to stay by his side 24/7.

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL:  The general consensus in Hollywood seems to think, if anything, the nude and risque photos floating around the Internet will give Vanessa Hudgens' career a boost... according to ABCNews, which, iirc, is owned by Disney, which also owns High School Musical.  That's iirc, because ABCNews doesn't remind anyone of it in the story.

LINDSAY LOHAN and her ex-con dad's reunion went really well, or they just milked it the best they could for a good photo op.

JESSICA SIMPSON is "talking about doing a country record and going back to her roots," according to creepy dad-manager Joe.  This seems inevitable.  Then, after a few more flops, appearances on The 300 Club and a gig in Branson.

CHARLIZE THERON is terrified her breasts are sagging at the ripe old age of 32.  Excuse me, I'll be the judge of that.  Or maybe Portsmouth University will be.

ROSIE O'DONNELL is trying to flog her upcoming book with passages about how Barbara Walters is old and ought to retire.  It is hard to have sympathy for Walters; if you lie down with a dog, you can wake up with fleas.

HARRY POTTER is now the top-grossing film franchise worldwide. Ever.  Who's your daddy now, Luke Skywalker?

INDIANA JONES IV now has an official title.

MANDY MOORE swears and works a stripper pole for gossip-blogger Perez Hilton.  Video at the link.

PHIL COLLINS:  The Genesis drummer speaks out on the phenomenon of Cadbury Dairy Milk's drumming monkey.

TERROR in GERMANY: The Islamic Jihad Union claimed responsibility for planning bombings that were foiled by the arrests of three suspects last week and confirmed that the US air base at Ramstein was among the targets. The attacks were aimed at pressing Germany to close its air base in Termez, Uzbekistan.  The plotters were secretly monitored under a new law that temporarily allows the National Security Agency to intercept e-mails overseas that pass through US switches.

IRAN:  Haleh Esfandiari, the Iranian-American academic held for four months in solitary confinement in the political wing of Iran's infamous Evin prison, speaks about the ordeal.  And fwiw, FNC claims that Germany will not support any further UN sanctions against Iran, due to concern about the effects they would have on the German economy.  But according to diplomats from other countries, Germany also gave the distinct impression that they would privately welcome, while publicly protesting, an US bombing campaign against Iran's nuclear facilities.  I dunno if any of that is true, but someone wanted it published...

ISLAMISM in the UK:  The widely-read children's section of the BBC's website basically blames the US for the 9/11 attacks.  In the Times of London, Martin Amis looks at the psychology of the Islamist death cult.

AMSTERDAM: A US citizen has confessed to using an axe to kill a Dutch student after failing to find a soldier to attack, his lawyer said Tuesday.  The suspect wanted to punish the Netherlands for its support of the war in Iraq.  And nothing says "peace" like an axe to the back of the head.

IRAQ:  The NYT finds Iraqis of different sects and ethnicities viewed the report from Gen. Petraeus and Amb. Crocker favorably because it - or at least the parts shown on television there - portrayed the situation accurately and because it signaled that there would be little change in the status quo.  In contrast to interviews with Iraqis three months ago, when when people refused to give a time frame for how long US troops should stay, now some say they want them for a minimum of three years and maybe even five years or more.  The AQI-affiliated "Islamic State of Iraq" announced it has created a "brigade" of women suicide bombers, a London-based Arab news agency reported Tuesday.  Blogger Bill Ardolino of InDC interviews "Leo," an interpreter for the US in Fallujah about past failure and current success there.

POOCH POOL PARTY:  Dogs take over the City Park pool at the 4th annual Pooch Plunge held in Fort Collins, CO.  It's like caddy day at the Bushwood Country Club, but with dogs.

THE SQUIRREL THREAT:  Fire investigators are pinning several recent spot fires near Seeley Lake, MT, on an unlikely group of arsonists.  Incident Commander Scott Meyer responded to the wildland fire with several engines in tow, and later ruled that the squirrels belonged to a paramilitary squirrel organization that has abounded for years in Seeley Lake, called the Pine Cone Liberation Organization (PCLO).

AN EGYPTIAN COBRA is guarding a 120000-dollar pair of ruby- sapphire- and diamond-encrusted designer shoes at Harrod's in London.  It's like Raiders of the Lost Ark meets the Wizard of Oz.

NAMING RIGHTS for ten newly-discovered species -- including the world's first walking shark -- are being auctioned by US-based Conservation International, who discovered them during a survey of Indonesian wildlife.

ALEX, perhaps the world's most famous talking bird, apparently died of natural causes at 31.  African grey -- beautiful plumage.