THE FICTIONS are breaking up next week. So if you like bouncy, classic pop as much as I do, you'll want to be downloading the MP3s or at least streaming them from their MySpace and PureVolume pages.

ELVIS COSTELLO is providing a commentary track to the upcoming DVD collection of his videos.

BOB DYLAN is featured in the first in an irregular series o­n songwriting for the L.A. Times. Plenty of good stuff there, including this quote: "It doesn't really matter where a song comes from. It just matters where it takes you." You'll probably have a different favorite, so read the whole thing. ALSO: The Independent sees the rarely shown Dylan documentary, Eat the Document.

BRIAN JONES' body may be exhumed and a new police inquiry launched into his death, it was claimed yesterday. Trevor Hobley, a close friend of Jones's o­ne-time girlfriend Pat Andrews, has been told that the body should be in near pristine condition. It would have to look better than Mick and Keith.

THE DOOBIE BROTHERS RECONSIDERED on the Pitchfork: "In the pantheon of American rock the Doobie Brothers stand undeniably ensconced as the 11th most important 'Brothers' group of all time, behind o­nly the Everly Brothers, the Neville Brothers, the Walker Brothers, the Isley Brothers, the Louvin Brothers, the Brothers Johnson, the Palace Brothers, the Dust Brothers, the Blues Brothers, and the Smothers Brothers -- easily bettering the Blues Brothers 2000 and Pernice Brothers..."

PAUL WELLER has a new album due in October.

ELIZABETH HURLEY is the Simon Cowell of fashion. Me-ow likes it.

DIRECTOR TERRY GILLIAM of Monty Python was charged an extra day for checking out a few minutes late from a NYC hotel, so he searched for a homeless person to occupy the room.

DIRECTOR TERRY JONES of Monty Python talks about Python, when we really want to hear about how his wife kicked him out of the house after he hooked up with a Swedish Python fan more than four decades his junior. Later in the interview, Jones syays he doesn't watch the BBC anymore because you won't hear about Cindy Sheehan there. I can't speak for the BBC, but I note its website has at least three Sheehan stories o­nline at the moment.

IRAQ missed the deadline for the new constitution and MPs granted a o­ne-week extension. It's silly to blame this o­n the sandstorm that hit Baghdad recently, but given the alternatives of punting issues like federalism, womens' rights and the role of Islamic law to the legislature, or calling a new election, waiting a week may be tolerable. As noted at Publius Pundit, polling shows the Iraqi people are moving in the right direction, so a week of hearing from them may help the process along (more o­n that poll here). Patrick Clawson, of the Washington Institute for Near East Policy, thinks the process got off o­n the wrong foot with a largely inactive parliament and a constitutional drafting process led by a small group of men behind closed doors. "That's not a way democracy should operate," he said. "So quite clearly, Iraqi democracy is going to be highly imperfect, quite limited." I love it when an American expert shows no understanding of our own history.

IRAQ II: The constitution story ensured that other stories would not get as much coverage. For example, Abu Zubair, a top aide to al-Zarqawi, accused of masterminding high-profile suicide bombings in the country, was killed in an abush by Iraqi security forces in Mosul. Alenda Lux takes a stab at following in the footsteps of retiring blogger Arthur Chrenkoff in rounding up other under-reported stories.

LAURA CANTRELL: The alt-country singer tells us about her Aunt Edna. And there's a point to it. I have previously pointed y'all toward legal Cantrell downloads.

BASS GUITARIST makes comedy from gigs with Madonna and Michael Jackson.

PETE DOHERTY UPDATE: The troubled singer was held by Norwegian customs officers last Friday o­n suspicion of possessing drugs -- and was o­nly freed when concert organisers came to his rescue. When his band Babyshambles finally took to the stage, Doherty proceeded to vomit in full view of 4,000 fans.

FIONA APPLE is releasing a reworked version of her long-shelved and leaked third album, Extraordinary Machine, and is nervous about how it will be received by folks who heard the leaked versions.

AL QAEDA'S SEVEN PHASE PLAN for global domination is analyzed at the Fourth Rail.

OIL-FOR FOOD SCANDAL: The official investigation into corruption in the multi-billion dollar program is now looking at the brother of U.N. secretary-general Kofi Annan. For his part, Annan ordered a broad independent review of U.N. procurement practices o­n Monday following the discovery that a senior U.N. purchasing official was shaking down contractors.

BONO: An excerpt from Michka Assayas' book of interviews with the U2 frontman and activist is o­nline at Christianity Today. U2 have been awarded Portugal's highest honor for their humanitarian efforts.

BRIAN ENO: You have probably heard his most famous piece of music; it's 3.25 seconds long.

LIZ PHAIR AND LESLIE GORE: I'll bet that was some party.

ERIN McKEOWN assures an interviewer from PopMatters that having a degree in Ethnomusicology is not such a big deal.

JAMES LILEKS has Amazon.com's secret 1-800 number.

DOES THE ASSOCIATED PRESS HAVE A BUNKER MENTALITY when it comes to Iraq? Editors of the AP's member papers are asking the question. "The main obstacle we face," said Mike Silverman, managing editor of The AP, "is the severe limitation o­n our movement and our ability to get out and report. It's very confining for our staff to go into Baghdad and have to spend most of their time o­n the fifth floor of the Palestine Hotel." However, it seems like the AP may try to do more stories looking at the big picture beyond the daily body count.

JESSICA SIMPSON: It seems like she's everywhere these days; Worth1000 based a Photoshop contest o­n the idea.

BRADGELINA UPDATE: Perez Hilton has a completely unsubstantiated rumor that Jolie is pregnant.

LOHAN LOWDOWN: The teen starlet moves behind the camera.

THE DONALD is blogging, but he hasn't written about these photos yet.

SHARON STONE, in London during the bombings, sought refuge from the man most feared by global terrorists -- Elton John.

HUGH JACKMAN: The name is not Bond...

EVA LONGORIA: We knew that the Desperate Housewife liked to give them as gifts. Is she re-gifting?

HEATHCLIFF... come back Heathcliff... I'm not finished with you, Heathcliff...

RUSSELL CROWE has an 11 million dollar phone bill.

KEVIN BACON seems headed back toward Wild Things country, but imho, Matt Dillon still comes out ahead.

LOST STAR Naveen Andrews left his violent home when he was 16 and moved in with his private school maths teacher, with whom he fathered a son after her disgusted husband divorced her. He now dates actress Barbara Hershey, who is 21 years his senior, and was last year accused of cheating o­n her.

RYAN SEACREST will co-host New Year's Rockin' Eve with Dick Clark, in hopes of finding out where he can get a portrait done.

CULT OF THE iPod: Apple still has no plans to enter the subscription music market... yet.

NANOTECH: Carbon nanotubes can function as scaffolds for bone regrowth, according to researchers at the University of California at Riverside.

BRITISH BREASTS have grown by a cup-size in the past decade.

SCHADENFREUDE and "keeping up with the Joneses" proven in a new study from Penn State.

...AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT: A Viking ship made of 15 million ice cream sticks.

INSERT YOUR DELIVERANCE JOKE HERE: A father-and-son team were named France's official Pig-Squealing Champions for 2005.

THOUSANDS OF BEES INVADED a matinee at Saddleback College's McKinney Theatre, stinging the lead actress and forcing cancellation of the 16-show run of Babes In Arms after just three performances.

TURKEY TOSSER cops a plea, will receive 6 months in jail and 5 years probation.

A GREEDY SQUIRREL ballooned in size and got wedged inside a bird feeder after gorging o­n nuts. And I'm disappointed that the Internet Movie DataBase has the quote wrong!

DOGS: Marmite the labrador survived after falling 40 feet down a cliff near Weymouth, Dorset.

STARTING THE WEEK WITH A SHOUT for our vast audience o­n the Continent...

GANG OF FOUR is streaming all over the 'net. Brooklyn Vegan has the linkage.

HUEY LEWIS has a fan base among the developmentally disabled, according to an article that seems way too politically incorrect for the SF Weekly.

SUB-POP label co-founder Jonathan Poneman is interviewed by Reuters, about the label's history and how the Internet made the Postal Service the label's second-best-selling act.

INDIE LABELS are joining the Recording Industry Association of America.

THE RIAA, having not gotten much from its battle against filesharing, is gearing up to fight CD burning.

DIY MUSICIANS, including Ani DiFranco, the Churchills, Christopher Dallman and the Sharp Things, are profiled in the Free New Mexican.

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN IN 2008? There is a website, which appears to be a hoax. But the cool slogan and poster could draw him in...

JULIA ROBERTS may become a stay-at-home mom.

THE DA VINCI CODE: Sony studio officials have consulted with religious experts o­n how they might alter the plot of the novel to avoid offending the devout.

JANICE DICKINSON: I have to agree with The Superficial that the self-proclaimed first supermodel has a super driver's license photo.

SUSAN SARANDON joins Jamie Lee Curtis in criticizing cosmetic surgery: "I'm scared of plastic surgery. You're somewhere between a burn victim and a female impersonator, and then there's kind of an Asian thing going o­n..."

TOM SIZEMORE has been diagnosed with priapism -- a rare medical condition that leaves him sexually insatiable -- which doctors believe could have been caused by years of alcohol and drug abuse. It would explain why he dated Heidi Fleiss...

IRAQ: Bomb attacks o­n U.S. supply convoys have doubled over the past year but casualties have declined with increased armoring of vehicles, according to the U.S. general in charge of logistics. A major chemical production facility, suspected to have been built by insurgents, was uncovered by US forces during a raid this week near Mosul; early tests suggest substances that could be used in explosives. Iraq's Oil Minister said that his country posted the highest level of crude sales in the country's petroleum history in July.

THE 9/11 COMMISSION releases its statement o­n the "Able Danger" controversy. The full statement is available as an Adobe Acrobat PDF file.

GUIDED BY VOICES: Robert Pollard has more GbV demos posted. And former GbV force Tobin Sprout has set up his own website.

THE LENNON LEGACY is assessed at the London Observer.

ROAD SONGS: USA TODAY's travel and music writers each select a favorite road-trip song, with a link to other playlist recommendations.

REVOLUTION IN THE HEAD is just killing music, with "albums" of covers performed by Belle and Sebastian and Elliot Smith.

IRAQ EXIT STRATEGIES: Gen. George Casey, the U.S. ground commander in Iraq, reportedly has been privately rebuked by the Bush administration for openly discussing plans to reduce troop levels there next year. Although many suspect that Bush wants to draw down troops ahead of the 2006 election (and all things being equal, I'm sure he would like to if he can), it's notable that the drawdown talk was coming from the military, not the Administration. Although no o­ne wants to set a timetable to encourage terrorists to wait out the coalition, I suspect the military wants to make clear it won't be there in full force forever, for reasons of: (a) Iraqi politics; (b) assuaging concerns of military families; and (c) perhaps most important, sending a message to Iraqi forces not to become dependent. And for those who see an anlogy between Iraq and Vietnam, Henry the K offers lessons o­n exit strategies.

LONDON: Radical Muslim cleric Omar Bakri Mohammed has been banned from setting foot o­n British soil again. Britain launched a crackdown o­n foreign-born Muslim ideologues Thursday, arresting ten and announcing they would be deported.

GOOD SAMARITAN races up a fire escape and catches a six-year-old girl who fell from the roof of her day care center.

PETE DOHERTY UPDATE: The troubled singer's band, Babyshambles, had their equipment seized by police after a secret gig in London, due to noise complaints. And he's trying to get back in with galpal Kate Moss by buying her expensive lingerie, which we really know is a gift for him. Graphic footage of Doherty deliberately harming himself will not appear in a forthcoming fly-on-the-wall documentary about the former Libertines' singer, much to his chagrin, I'm thinking.

t. A. T. u. RETURNS: Be afraid. Be very afraid.

TOP FIVE WAYS MP3 has changed the world, according to C|Net.

FAUXRENER: Mick Jones is restarting Foreigner without Lou Gramm. Caveat Emptor (which would be true anyway).

IRAQ II: Camp Liberty, o­ne of the best-appointed compounds in the constellation of American military bases in Iraq, has the vague feel of a college campus, albeit with sand underfoot, Blackhawks overhead and the occasional random mortar attack. The New York Times version of this story also has photos. The Altlanta Journal-Constitution blogs conditions at Camp Taji; the comments show that not all the troops live like this.

AFGHANISTAN: U.S. Marines and Afghan troops launched an offensive Saturday to take a remote mountain valley from insurgents tied to the deadliest blow o­n American forces since the Taliban regime was ousted nearly four years ago. And they are using donkeys for their supply chain. Meanwhile, several hundred former Taliban members have returned from exile in Pakistan to join a government reconciliation program.

TOM-KAT UPDATE: Trouble in Crazytown? The infallible Star magazine reports that Holmes may be getting cold feet about marrying Cruise, as a rift develops over wedding plans. Holmes still wants a Roman Catholic priest at their wedding out of respect for her parents, but Cruise wants o­nly a few family members and close Scientology friends. He also wants to hold the wedding in a Scientologist-friendly location, according to the source, such as the Scientology Celebrity Center in Los Angeles or aboard the Scientology yacht.

BRADGELINA UPDATE: Jennifer Aniston gets an apology from Kimberley Stewart, who may have noticed she's living in a glass house.

THE ISLAND: The producers of the laughably-bad Parts: The Clonus Horror have finally filed a copyright case, asking a New York court to have the sci-fi thriller pulled from theaters.

IRAQ III: Michael Yon sees more battle in Mosul and photographs it, but the words are compelling, too. A piece from the American Forces Press Service reports that nearly three dozen Iraqi army or police units are assessed as in the lead or independent; it seems like logistics and supplies are the sticking points for many units (which is better than having problems with training or morale). Major K meets the Iraqi Soldiers of the 1st Brigade -- the Brigade that took back Haifa Street in Baghdad -- and is impressed. Sunni Muslims in Ramadi fought Saturday to defend their Shiite neighbors against a bid to drive them from the western city, Sunni leaders and Shiite residents said.

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE BENJAMINS: Memo to aspiring counterfeiters -- Benjamin Franklin appears o­n the 100 dollar bill, not Abraham Lincoln.

RECORD OIL PRICES? Not after adjusting for inflation.

HOWARD ZINN, author of A People's History of the United States, claims that America is an occupied country. Which I would take more seriously if Zinn did not already think that America has been occupied since 1492.

LONDON II: The Guardian, having published a column by an employee who was a member of a radical Islamic group, follows up with an op-ed by Saad al-Fagih arguing that, "No o­ne will be more pleased than Osama bin Laden with the new measures announced by Tony Blair." Not mentioned was that al-Fagih seems to be a member or associate of Al Qaeda. And Harry's Place rounds up links o­n the investigation of the allegedly moderate Muslim Council of Britain.

CINDY SHEEHAN continues her anti-war vigil near President Bush's ranch. She has supporters holding vigils for her. David Duke backs her. Members of her family members disagree and she is now separated from her husband. At Iraq the Model, Mohammed responds to her question of why the U.S. is in Iraq. At the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, columnist Robert L. Jamieson, Jr. will probably have his e-malibox fill with hate mail from folks who normally agree with him. And Newsweek has a piece suggesting that President Bush does not treat meetings with grieving families like a frat party as Sheehan has charged. Sen. McCain, often a thorn in Bush's side, says ""any charge of insensitivity or uncaring o­n the part of this president is absolutely false."

MILBLOGGING gets an article in the Washington Post titled "The New Ernie Pyles." The Post Watch blog notes that the article manages a negative tone, when most milbloggers are not anti-war. It was hard to avoid noticing that the WaPo article was less representative than John Hockenberry's article at Wired. But if you put both together you get a feel for the range of opinion.

PODCASTING: KEXP's pioneering ways get coverage in the Seattle Times. In the next few weeks, KEXP says it will become the first to make its live radio broadcasts suitable for cellphones and handheld organizers.

FERRETS: After nine years of slippery, slinky competition, the Ferret Olympics is being forced to change its name because the U.S. Olympic Committee has threatened to sue.

SWANS are taking advantage of the gay-friendly atmosphere of Massachussetts. Yet there are still eggs, which aren't faring well.

CATS: Two teenagers performed a caesarean section o­n a dead cat they found along a New Brunswick road, saving two of four kittens.

DOGS are graduating from bomb-sniffing school. ALSO: Quite by chance, I came across this at Ask Yahoo: "Why do dogs love to stick their heads out of car windows?"

CATS AND DOGS: Jo Shoesmith, and her ex-husband, Marty Stephens, are having to rethink the joint custody arrangement for their aging dog, Misha. At the outset, friends and family had thought the notion of a pet custody arrangement a bit extreme -- even their lawyers scratched their heads when they thought about how, exactly, to word such a thing.

LIKE BUNNIES? New Zealander Brendan McMahon likes bunnies like bunnies. It landed him in jail.

LIGERS get coverage from National Geographic due to the Napoleon Dynamite factor. And "Liger" is o­ne of the top search engine requests that brings up this site.

PETA sought to have Minnesota ban the catching of the state fish -- the Walleye. Gov. Tim Pawlenty responded by planning to go out for a walleye dinner.

FOUR CHEETAH CUBS were born at the San Diego Zoo. Awww...

THOUSANDS OF TOADS invade Big Sandy, Montana. It was just two years ago that the town's streets were blocked by 10-foot drifts of tumbleweeds.

SURF'S UP for Aussie Mice. Kowabunga! Columnated ruins domino...