BRYAN FERRY talks to London's Telegraph about his upcoming album of Dylan covers.  Ferry is no stranger to covers, natch -- as the clips of  "Will You Love Me Tomorrow" (featuring Anna Nicole Smith) "The In Crowd" (scorching), "Let's Stick Together" (with Jerry Hall), "I Put A Spell on You" and even the 1973 version of Dylan's "A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall" attest.  You can preview his 2007 takes on Dylan with "Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues" and "Positively Fourth Street."

MARIANNE  FAITHFULL -- one of rock's consummate survivors -- talks to the Daily Mail about surviving emergency cancer surgery, and the surprise phone call she got from Mick Jagger in recovery.  The paper also embedded video of an oddly uptempo take of the classic "As Tears Go By" from Hullaballoo.

THE BROKEN WEST singer and guitarist Ross Flournoy is conflicted about being tagged as "power pop."  The Boston Globe rightly notes the band is much closer to Big Star or Teenage Fanclub than to the Knack or Shoes.  The paper was also nice enough to link to streaming songs at BrokenWestSpace, so you can hear for yourself.

EL PERRO DEL MAR is touring, so Sarah Assbring is doing the press rounds with eye, NOW, New City Chicago and the Boston Herald.  (Thanks to Chromewaves, though I get New City in the lobby of my building).  Most of the pieces tell the story of how Assbring adopted the name "El Perro del Mar" ("Dog of the Sea"), her stripped-down retro style and her expectations -- or lack of them -- for Canada and the US; in the Boston Herald, she also talks about Sweden's socialized musical education.  You can stream four from HerSpace.

LUCINDA WILLIAMS tells Canada's Globe & Mail that reviewers are missing the underlying optimism of her new album, West.  You can stream a few from HerSpace.

SEEN YOUR VIDEO:  The Jayhawks perform the great and terrible "Blue."

APPLES IN STEREO frontman Robert Schneider tells Chart Attack that he went through a period where "I just became, not just disinterested, but actually offended by the big bells and whistles production that I had always pursued" before making New Magnetic Wonder, which owes more than a little to the lush sound of the Electric Light Orchestra.  Steam a few at TheirSpace.

THE CAT IN THE HAT just turned 50, which is celebrated in this audio feature from NPR, and is a good excuse to relink to the wonderful Dylan Hears A Who, which may require you download the Firefox browser, if you haven't already.

PETE DOHERTY-KATE MOSS UPDATE:  The troubled singer and the supposedly sober supermodel were asked to leave the Shockwaves NME Awards by security after a series of incidents at the ceremony held at Hammersmith Palais.  Said incidents apparently included the couple's blazing bust-up backstage -- broken up by Primal Scream frontman Bobby Gillespie -- after Doherty was caught trying to smuggle a spoon into the loos.

BRITNEY SPEARS has flipped her lid in rehab, trying to hang herself with a bedsheet after scrawling the devil's number "666" across her head and screaming "I am the anti-christ" to frightened staff.  US Weekly has details of her last, pathetic gasp before entering rehab.  The pop tart is getting words of support from Brooke Shields, whose book on postpartum depression Spears is rumored to be reading in rehab.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE:  Despite lousy reviews, audiences went hog wild for Wild Hogs, which took in 38 million in receipts to become Disney's biggest-ever March opening.  David Fincher's acclaimed Zodiac came in a respectable second with 13.1 million -- ballpark typical for most Fincher films.  Ghost Rider fell to third in its third week of release with 11.5 million, followed by Bridge to Terabithia with 8.6 million and The Number 23, which slid to fifth with 7.1 million in its second week.  Norbit continued to make money in sixth place ,while Music and Lyrics is struggling in seventh, despite dropping a mere 36 percent.  Black Snake Moan took in a mere four million, though it came in third on a per screen average.  Reno 911!: Miami plunged 63 percent to land in ninth place, but has made 16 million on a ten million budget.  Breach rounded out the Top Ten with 3.4 million.

LIZ HURLEY had a surprise civil wedding with Indian businessman Arun Nayar in the Cotswolds last Friday.

THE McCARTNEYS:  It was Sir Paul who emerged smiling from the first significant round in his divorce feud with Heather Mills.  It was the staff at a top London dance studio who were smiling as Mills quit the studio after just one day of practice for Dancing with the Stars.

JOHN RATZENBERGER, known as Cliff Claven on Cheers and a voice talent for PIxar animations, will replace Vincent "Big P*ssy" Pastore, who quit after one week of training for Dancing with the Stars.

BRADGELINA:  Jolie has filed papers to adopt a Vietnamese child, and it seems that US and Vietnamese officials will bend the rules to make it happen.

GREY'S ANATOMY;  Disgruntled starlet Katherine Heigl is blaming ABC's Touchstone for going public on their salary dispute, though it seemed like her people did that.

KIRSTEN DUNST:  Someone is spreading nasty rumors about old MJ.

EVANGELINE LILLY:  The Lost hottie is attracted to men who are in touch with their feminine side and are able to pick out clothes for her -- which explains her long-term relationship with co-star and ex-Hobbit Dominic Monaghan.

SIENNA MILLER tells London's Guardian that she always ends up putting my big fat foot in it.  Indeed, she does so in the interview when asked why people take drugs:  "'Cos they're fun! 'Cos they're f*ckloads of fun! No, don't write that..."  She later added: " I liked mushrooms, which were legal until a year or so ago. If I had a drug of choice, it would be magic mushrooms."

JOHN BELUSHI died 25 years ago today, but his comedy -- and his influence on comedy -- last to this day.  For example, the Peacock lawyers have missed this classic clip of Belushi with Joe Cocker on the Show Named Less.  Belushi first developed that impression for National Lampoon's Lemmings -- a Broadway parody of Woodstock.  His breakthrough movie role as Bluto in National Lampoon's Animal House was almost entirely silent, physical comedy, yet his slightly profane, inspirational speech near the climax is ingrained in pop culture.  And I count myself lucky for having been able to see the Blues Brothers live at the long-gone Poplar Creek Music Theater -- and to have Belushi flip his way down the aisle about ten feet away from my seat.

AFGHANISTAN:  ABCNews reports that US and NATO forces have been conducting a major attack against a compound in a remote area of Eastern Afghanistan where Osama bin Laden or another senior al Qaeda leader may be hiding.

IRAQ:  Bill Roggio has a round-up including signs of short term success for the Baghdad security plan (though the Times of London wonders if it can last), a planned reshuffle of the Iraqi cabinet to promote reconciliation, an unconfirmed report from the German press that the leader of al-Qaeda's political front organization has been captured in Salahadin province, and more.  ITM's Omar Fadhil has a detailed on-the-ground report from Baghdad, including new restrictions on cars and over 1000 displaced families returning to the capital.  The Times of London publishes serious academic criticisms of The Lancet study which claimed that there had been 650K civilian casualties.  Stars & Stripes has an update on the two faces of Ramadi.  The Small Wars Journal blog has David Kilcullen correcting misreporting by London's Guardian, as well as Bing West reviewing the good and bad points from his February trip in-country.

IRAN:  Students involved in an angry protest against Pres. Ahmadinejad have been expelled and earmarked for compulsory military service in an apparent act of official retribution.

TERRIERS DOGNAPPED AT GUNPOINT on video have been found and reunited with their owners.  Videos at the link.

WHEN POT-BELLIED PIGS ATTACK... they attack Posh Spice.

EMUS vs. DOGS in a Sea-Tac smackdown!

CAT extracted from the engine of a running car after several hours of rescue efforts.  Video at the link.

DOGS are being trained to use cash machines for their disabled owners in the UK.

THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE:

...with THE MEKONS!  The ever-reliable Wikipedia calls them "one of the longest-running and most prolific of the first-wave British punk rock bands," though they have incorporated elements of English folk, country, and other styles over the years.  For example "Poxy Lips" has a zydeco feel, while "Ghosts of American Astronauts" is swirling, ethereal pop -- and both are from 1988's So Good It Hurts.  "Work All Week" has a bit of the reggae beat, while "Memphis Egypt" is blistering rock 'n' roll.  You can download "Ghosts," Memphis" and the countrified "Hole in the Ground" in glorious QuickTime from Twin/Tone Records.  You can also stream a few equally eclectic tracks via MekonSpace.

THE STOOGES' reunion album comes out next week, but you can stream the whole thing now via VH1.

PEARL JAM reprortedly will headline Lollapalooza this summer, though promoters don't plan on announcing the 130-band lineup or putting tickets on sale for several weeks.

WILCO:  Three advance tracks from Sky Blue Sky leaked onto the Internet.  Though it seems like the band is trying to get them removed, you may also be able to stream "Either Way," "You Are My Face" and "Walken" via the ol' HM.

THE WHITE STRIPES are putting the finishing touches on their next LP, which  will be titled Icky Thump.  Tracklisting at the link.

UNO, DOS... one, two, tres, quatro!

THE SHINS have a performance and interview streaming via Yahoo! Music.

YOKO ONO confesses.

ARCTIC MONKEYS have a new track off the forthcoming Favourite Worst Nightmare, which you can stream via Prefix.

NOISE POP:  This fest kind of slid off my radar screen but Heather Browne has an interview with fest guru Jordan Kurland and MP3s of the bands she's planning to see.  Lala/WOXY are streaming gigs live and on demand, including Ths Submarines, Snowden, Malajube, Midlake, Cake and more...

PETE DOHERTY-KATE MOSS UPDATE:  The troubled singer and the supposedly sober supermodel have reportedly moved in together, with Doherty lugging a banjo, a babyseat, gold records and assorted coats and clothing into Moss's fashionable north London pad.  Also, Doperty was visiting England's Cotswold Wildlife Park when witnesses say that he threw what looked like a spliff to some penguins as a way of showing off for Moss.

THE CUTOUT BIN:  This Friday's fortuitous finds from the ol' HM include: The Cure - Friday, I'm in Love; Iggy Pop - Lust for Life; The Posies - Surrender; Yo La Tengo - Mr. Tough; The B-52s - 53 Miles West of Venus; The Yardbirds - Over Under Sideways Down; Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers - Roadrunner; Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazlewood - Summer Wine; Sam & Dave - Hold On! I'm A Comin'; The Clash - Time Is Tight; Eddie Floyd - Big Bird; Ronnie Spector - You Can't Put Your Arms Around A Memory (J. Thunders); Guns n' Roses - You Can't Put Your Arms Around a Memory (J. Thunders); Ram Jam - Black Betty; Black Flag - TV Party; Ramones - Teenage Lobotomy; and Art Brut - My Little Brother.

ANNA NICOLE SMITH IS STILL DEAD, but her mother has given up the fight to bury the body in Texas, clearing any obstacle to a burial today in the Bahamas, compler with an "over the top" memorial hosting about 300 guests.

JOHN TRAVOLTA thinks Anna Nicole Smith could have been saved by Scientology.

THE FRENCH HOTEL has been banned from Associated Press stories by the wire service's entertainment editor, prompting debate among journos.  Of course, she might make the other wires if she lands in jail for violating her probation.

GREY'S ANATOMY:  Disgruntled star Katherine Heigl was smacked down in a press release from ABC expressing disappointment that her less-than-equal salary bump was leaked to the press and reminding the world that Heigl remains bound by a long-term contract.

HUGH GRANT:  A Dutch TV reporter handcuffed herself to Hugh Grant at last Friday's Amsterdam premiere of Music & Lyrics.  Appropriately enough, some wag has turned the incident into a music video.

JUDE LAW said he was "speechless" after receiving a prestigious French award for his contribution to film.  Presumably because could not bring himself to think about being lumped in with Jerry Lewis.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER, contrary to prior reports, will make a cameo appearance the in forthcoming Terminator 4.

ANTONELLA BARBA, the focus of recent attention over some racy Internet photos, survived the most recent cut on American Idol.  Was it despite the photos, or because of them?

JENNA FISCHER, who plays Pam on NBC's The Office, is looking hot in photos from the upcoming Will Ferrell comedy, Blades of Glory.

THE TOP TEN GREATEST FILM SPEECHES (with embedded video) compiled by Not Defteri is not bad, though it really only goes back to 1954.  But there's also a link to a far more complete list.  One of the videos has been yanked, but there's a lo-fi version to be had.

IRAQ:  US soldiers are leaving their fortified bases and establishing many small outposts in the capital's most violent neighborhoods in a major tactical shift under the two-week-old Baghdad security plan.  Fifteen of about 30 planned "joint security stations" with Iraqi forces have already in the capital.  They have also set up an unspecified number of smaller "combat outposts."  A joint security station in Sadr City should open in a few days.  A a prominent Shiite cleric with high-level political ties survived an assassination attempt on one of Baghdad's quietest days in months - with one reported car bombing and one fatality.  The Iraqi Interior Ministry announced that 80 suspected al-Qaeda were killed in heavy fighting Wednesday in a village near Fallujah.

IRAN is stalling any answer to the invitation to the planned conference on Iraq's future, after being caught off guard by Washington's enthusiastic endorsement of the meeting.  Tehran's client Hezbollah denied a US intell claim it was training Iraqi militants in Lebanon on how to operate armor-piercing munitions against US troops in Iraq.

AFGHANISTAN:  Mullah Omar and new threat Mullah Dadullah seem to have been feeling more comfy in advance of an expected spring Taliban offensive, but Mullah Obaidullah Akhund, former Taliban defense minister and #3 on the ladder of the Taliban's 10-member leadership council, was captured in Quetta.  ABCNews reports that Akhund may know the secret whereabouts of Mullah Omar, and perhaps of Osama bin Laden and Ayman al Zawahri.

IOWA:  Gov. Chet Culver  declared all Iowa 99 counties disaster areas after last weekend's ice and snowstorm knocked the power out to thousands of people, including families of Pate members.

OWEN & MZEE UPDATE:  The giant tortoise and orphaned baby hippo who forged an unusual friendship after the 2004 tsunami in southeast Asia are the stars of a new Web site so fans can follow their progress.

OTHER ODD PALS:  A pair of Sumatran tiger cubs and a set of young orangutans, all abandoned at birth, have become inseparable after sharing a room at an Indonesian zoo.  Awww...some photo and video at the link.

MOLLY the CAT has made it home four months after disappearing from a beach resort 150 kilometers away in New Zealand.

A SQUIRREL, unlike a cat, really gets stuck in a tree when he gets stuck in a tree.  Pre-rescue photo at the link.

A COW stares unamazed as it forces an airplane to land on Interstate 84 near the Oregon-Idaho border.

THE SPINTO BAND'S  latest video -- for "Brown Boxes" -- is so very them.

BOB DYLAN comes off as kinder and gentler in a new version of D.A. Pennebaker's famed documentary Don't Look Back.  But he comes off even wackier at Dylan Hears a Who, where a decent imposter sings Dr. Seuss.  It may not work with Internet Explorer, but it's worth downloading Firefox to hear "Green Eggs and Ham" in the style of "Tombstone Blues."

THE CHAMBER STRINGS' second album, Month of Sundays, harbored "the kind of pop dreams that warrant serious discussion next to the work of Brian Wilson, Ray Davies, Laura Nyro or Alex Chilton," according to Greg Kot of the Chicago Tribune.  But heroin addiction and homelessness put frontman Kevin Junior a day away from death before he got clean.  You can stream three tracks from that album via NPR, where Tom Moon made it a Shadow Classic.  You can also stream a few, including  sparse versions of new material, via the band's MySpace page. 

DEEP PURPLE:  A live album has been withdrawn from sale after singer Ian Gillan told fans the CD featured one of the legendary group's worst ever concerts.  Sony is checking why Gillan was not told of the release.

YOU TUBE failed to reach an agreement with CBS to host clips from shows such as The Late Show with David Letterman, as the parties unable to agree to terms including how long the deal would run.  Parent company Google and CBS intend to work together only on more modest initiatives.

SEEN YOUR VIDEO:  Dug up from the grooveyard of forgotten favorites is Guadalcanal Diary with "Watusi Rodeo," as it aired on MTV's Basement Tapes (with VJ Nina Blackwell) so many moons ago.

BECK was recently profiled on the World Cafe, so you can stream a mini-set from NPR now.

SUFJAN STEVENS hints that the next state he will tackle in his "50 State Project" of albums will be California.  IIRC, he's thrown Texas around as a candidate as well.

RHETT MILLER:  The Old 97s frontman does not like the "alt-country" label, but adds: "I guess if I had to live in one of those ghettos, I would choose that, rather than angry modern rock full of pointy guitars and eyeliner."  You can stream a few of his whatever via HisSpace.

JAMES BROWN:   An agreement reprotedly has been reached over obtaining DNA samples from the late Godfather of Soul's body, in order to help sort out several paternity claims made against the singer since he died two months ago.

BRADGELINA:  Jolie shows off her CFR cred by penning an op-ed on Darfur for the Washington Post, pushing for prosecution of the perps in the International Criminal Court.  Jolie is encouraged by ICC prosecutors charging a junior Sudanese Cabinet official and a top commander of pro-government militias as first war-crimes suspects, though reformers in Sudan are disappointed.  BTW, the charged Sudanese official takes inspiration from the example of Saddam Hussein.  So when Jolie asks, "would we in America ever accept the logic that we shouldn't prosecute murderers because the threat of prosecution might provoke them to continue killing?", my answer would be that there are plenty of Americans who think fighting terrorists and their sponsors only creates more terrorists.  I wish Jolie luck in convincing them otherwise.

THE McCARTNEYS:  Heather Mills brought a spare leg to her practice for Dancing with the Stars.  Pic at the link.  Mills tells TV's Extra: "I have no fear; I'm quite happy to be thrown around and hopefully my leg will stay on."

VINCENT PASTORE, otoh, has dropped out of Dancing With the Stars, as the 60-year-old actor said the training was too strenuous.  I can't imagine what his old pals from The Sopranos will call him.

MADONNA chides daughter Lourdes for wearing tight jeans: "Can't you wear something else? You have a closet full of clothes and you wear the same pants every day. And please wear a belt because I don't want to see your butt crack when you bend over."

BEYONCE KNOWLES and a flock of SI swimsuit models may have been exposed to acute hepatitis A by an employee of Wolfgang Puck Catering.  And don't be surprised if they aren't the only celebs involved; TMZ had an item about a very famous movie mogul that has mysteriously vanished from its site.  UPDATE:  Beyonce did not eat at the party.

BRITNEY SPEARS had to be convinced, cajoled and even badgered into rehab by her mother, lawyer and even Fed-Ex.  The pop tart's bald head is turning on The Gossip's frontwoman, Beth Ditto, who says it "makes her look like a butch dyke."

ANNA NICOLE SMITH IS STILL DEAD, but we are still getting stories about her sufferring from lupus, and that -- according to the National Enquirer -- preliminary findings from the autopsy show Smith died from a severe case of pneumonia, not a drug overdose.

CHRISTIE BRINKLEY is recovering from emergency back surgery, following a skiing injury that occurred during a recent family ski trip.  How long has she had a weak back?  Longer than for the punchline.

PAMELA ANDERSON, credited with inflicting Ugg boots onto the global fashion scene, denounced the footwear on her website, having just figured out they are made from shaved sheepskin.

P DIDDY is being investigated by the LAPD for allegedly attacking a man at a Hollywood Oscar afterparty.  Meanwhile, Misa Hylton denied that Diddy took their 12-year-old-son for a lapdance and said she she fired the security team that was supposed to be watching the boy that night.

HOLLYWOOD MADAM Jody "Babydol" Gibson has written a book naming two dozen celebrities she says patronized her call-girl service, including Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck, Jim Belushi, Gary Busey and Sex Pistols guitarist Steve Jones.  Most of those named have issued denials.  There is an adults-only excerpt about Willis floating around the Internet.

GREY'S ANATOMY:  Katherine Heigl has dropped out of contract talks with the show over salary, according to People magazine.  Isaiah Washington, still rehabbing his image from an anti-gay slur, has signed with openly gay PR crisis expert Howard Bragman and his company.  And the cast is generally miffed about being blindsided with the news that Kate Walsh's character is being spun off to her own show, according to Star magazine.

GLOBAL WARMING:  A former Canadian defense minister is demanding governments worldwide disclose and use secret alien technologies obtained in alleged UFO crashes to stem climate change.  No, really.

IRAQ:  An Iraqi newspaper reports that in the recent attack at the Ministry of Public Works, the bomb was placed under Vice President Mahdi's seat, and the person that detonated the device was inside the ministry -- which is run by Muqtada al-Sadr's political bloc,  Azzam reports that a referendum on the fate of the oil producing city of Kirkuk has been delayed for two years -- a good sign, given fears that the referendum could have set off a powder keg.

IRAN and IRAQ:  The Bush Administration has agreed to join high-level talks sought by Iraq with Iran and Syria on the future of Iraq. White House spokesman Tony Snow noted it won't be the first time they have sat with Iran on Iraq-related issues.  The generally dovish Sen. Carl Levin (D-MI), Chairman of the Armed Service Cmte, wants to know our plan for stopping Iran and Syria from arming terrorists and militias.  Current and former intelligence officials say that Tehran has recruited its own network of Iraqi Shiite extremists to use armor-piercing weapons against US and coalition forces rather than against Sunni rivals.

TWO-LEGGED DOGS:  Dominic the Greyhound Pup leads a fairly normal life, despite having only his left legs, in a video clip from Animal Planet.  Faith, who manages with just her back legs, was lost and found by American Airlines.

CANE TOADS may soon be subject to a beer-for-a-bag-of-toads bounty supported by Australia's biggest private hotel owner and the RSPCA.  ALSO:  Don't eat raw frogs.

ORANGUTAN ESCAPE DRILL goes awry at the Tama Zoo in Tokyo, Japan.  Photos at the link.

STOLEN BULLDOGS were recovered 150 miles from their home in Iberia, MO, with an assist from a private eye.

PIGEONS may be remote-controlled by scientists at the Robot Engineering Technology Research Center at Shandong University of Science and Technology in eastern China.

IGGY POP claims he is struggling to get his kicks in old age, but when I hear new  Stooges' tracks like "The Weirdness" or  "Free and Freaky" (Real | Win), it sounds like he's exaggerating.  Iggy and The Stooges got a lengthy profile over the weekend in the New York Times that starts with the Ig discussing the classic Stooges video I've posted here previously.  The NYT piece even has MP3 samples.

ARCADE FIRE:  Neon Bible doesn't come out until next week, but you can stream the whole album now, via NME.

THE PIPETTES have inked a US record deal with Interscope subsidiary Cherrytree.  They hope to finally release We Are The Pipettes in June, with bonus tracks not on the UK release that will run you 30 bucks as an import.  In the meantime, you can always stream a few via TheirSpace.

DR. DOG, a psychedelic pop band from Philly, gets some local love from the World Cafe, which you can stream via NPR.  The band has been generating blog buzz, too -- so there's plenty to jukebox via the ol' HM.

MARK OLSON will have a cameo from former co-Jayhawk Greg Louris on his second solo album, due this June.

GUN CLUB:  Blank Forever has posted a bunch of their punk-blues classics.  You can jukebox 'em via the ol' HM, but I have to throw in some live video for the missing "Sex Beat." 

THE RAKES:  London's Guardian says they make "the thinking person's drinking music. Or the drinking person's thinking music."  I would agree that the band is closer to Franz Ferdinand or Bloc Party than drinking music, but you can stream a bunch via the ol' HM and decide for yourself.  Obvs, I can't pass up a track named "When Tom Cruise Cries."

THE HOLD STEADY can be more credibly said to make the thinking person's drinking music , but frontman Craig Finn doesn't consider their stuff "literary," telling Stylus: "I mean, we're trying to separate ourselves from guys like the Decemberists. That dude has read so many books. I haven't read any books compared to him."

LOU BARLOW talks to the San Jose Mercury News about the Sebadoh reunion and his surprise success with "Natural One,'' the single by his side project Folk Implosion.

CHRIS CORNELL supposedly quit Audioslave due to "irresolvable personality conflicts," but sources told Page Six it was all about the Benjamins.  He tells Spinner that his next solo LP, due May 1st, will include a cover of Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean."  You can still stream his live acoustic version via the ol' HM.

BRITNEY SPEARS:  Sources tell TMZ that doctors at her rehab facility think the underlying reason for her trouble may be post-partum depression or bipolar disorder.  That either is more sympathetic than substance abuse is just a happy coincidence.  If believed, it would hurt sales of the Britney Shears doll on eBay.  At least she's got Pete Townshend in her corner, though she seems a bit old for him.

HELEN MIRREN has been invited to tea with Queen Elizabeth II.  Her Majesty rooted for the actress to win an Oscar for The Queen, though she would never watch it herself.  Proof -- if any were needed -- that "Her Majesty" is a pretty nice girl.

ALAN ARKIN hoped his ten-year-old costar, Abigail Breslin, would lose the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress: "I hope she loses frankly. No, I'm serious. I am not joking... She is a kid; she needs to have a childhood."  More, including Arkin admitting he doesn't like awards, at the link.

EDDIE MURPHY is not a sore loser for leaving the Oscars after losing Best Supporting Actor to Alan Arkin.  His rep claims he did the same thing after he won the same award at the Golden Globes.

TOM-KAT UPDATE:  US Weekly describes the couple's behavior at Vanity Fair's Oscars afterparty in a way that brings the term "Stepford Wife" easily to mind.

ANNA NICOLE SMITH IS STILL DEAD, but baby-daddy wannabe Larry Birkhead finally met 5-month-old Dannielynn Smith, who threw up on him.  Probably reminded him of Anna.   Meanwhile, wacky jurist Larry Seidlin has been mulling TV offers, including a segment on CBS's Early Show.

WHITNEY-BOBBY BREAK-UPDATE:  Bobby Brown seems to have had some difficulty raising the 19K bail to get of jail for unpaid child support and court fees. 

P DIDDY took his 12-year-old son for a lapdance.

GWYNETH PALTROW discovered that being a housewife is a hard job.

CHRISTINA RICCI says that playing a chained-up half-naked nymphomaniac in the upcoming Black Snake Moan helped her overcome her prudish nature, so she now parades around in her underwear.  Slideshow at the link.  You can stream versions of the song "Black Snake Moan" via the ol' HM.  You can watch the trailer, and even see Richard Roeper and guest Kevin Smith review the movie on the Tube, but the clip of the sex scene with Ricci and JT is long gone by now.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON skipped the Oscars to tour the slums of India on behalf of Oxfam.  She visited an Oxfam-funded school set up for the "untouchable" Dalit caste.

AFGHANISTAN:  A Taliban suicide bomber killed 18 outside the Kabul base where VP Cheney was visiting. Lt. Col. David Accetta said the bomber did not try to get past any US-staffed security checkpoints before detonating himself a mile away from the VP.   The Taliban are executing informants after three senior commanders were killed in the last three months.

EGYPT:  An Egyptian state-run satellite firm has stopped transmitting al-Zawraa TV, a/k/a "MujTV," a 24-hour station set up by the Islamic Army of Iraq (and subordinate to the Mujahideen Shura Council) to broadcast jihadi propaganda into Iraq.  Analysts pointed to US and Arab diplomatic pressure as a likely reason, but Nilesat claimed it was because the channel created a "buzz" that interfered with other channels.  I'll say!  MujTV is still available through our friends, the Saudis.

IRAQ:  Multinational Forces Iraq is "holding talks with commanders of Muqtada al-Sadr's Al-Mahdi Army with the 'Iraqi Government's blessing,'" as well as with other armed groups.  An aide claims that al-Sadr has not withdrawn his support for the new security plan, claiming a prior statement was misread by the media.  The buzz in Baghdad continues to be that al-Sadr is "doing some very deadly housecleaning," as Mahdi Army members have been disappearing or turning up dead in the Sadr City, Kadhimiya, and Baladiyat areas of the capital.  US-led strike forces seized suspected Shiite death squad bosses Tuesday in raids on Sadr City.  The AP claims -- without support --  that bombings have not slackened off, whereas the US military says that "reporting of sectarian murders is at the lowest level in almost a year" and bomb attacks have been reduced by 20 percent.  Nevertheless, the military rightly cautions against projecting a trend into the early figures.  One of Iraq's two VPs and the minister of public works escaped an assassination attempt.

CHACHI the MARMOSET frequently bites his owners and has assumed control over their dog, riding it like a horse.  This is right in my backyard; it turns out that Illinois is one of 19 states with no laws governing the private ownership of nonhuman primates.  So I'm thinking about becoming a part-time organ grinder.

MAN'S BEST FRIEND:  Dude, an eight-year-old mixed-breed hound, gave his life saving his owner from an attacking black bear.

NOT MAN'S BEST FRIEND:  A pet python strangled its 69-year-old owner in southern Vietnam, despite his daughter-in-law's desperate efforts to save him.

KOALA BEARS are totally into lesbian sex orgies Down Under.

LONELY ANIMAL LOVERS can get a hookup through a Dutch website.  And as the story comes out of Amsterdam, I hasten to add, "with other pet owners."

TWOFER TUESDAY:  From the "Where Are They Now?" file leap The Jags, with "Back Of My Hand," which used to play most mornings on WLUP in Spring 1980, iirc.  There's also the uber-rare "Party Games," posted on the Tube by a member of the band.

NEW RELEASES:  Dean and Britta release Back Numbers; the Village Voice profiles them.  Dash Rip Rock releases Hee Haw Hell, a country-rock-opera take on Dante's Inferno.  The Fall releases Reformation! Post-TLC, the band's first in umpteen years.   Beck re-releases last year's The Information in a deluxe, three disc format.

ARCADE FIRE:  New York magazine goes behind the scenes of the band's triumphant five-show stand at a church on Washington Square Park. 

MIDLAKE:  London's Guardian sends someone to the musical hotbed of Denton, TX for the secret of the band's success.

THE MAGIC NUMBERS:  Watch an entire gig from the hooky pop quartet via FabChannel.

THE WHO:  "My Generation" has been voted the most popular teen anthem ever in a poll taken to mark 50 years of the term "teenager."  As it's Twofer Tuesday, here's a The Who live at the Marquee Club in '67, and the famous version from TV.

LILY ALLEN is the current Guest DJ for NPR's All Songs Considered.  The set includes a fair number from her debut album, but she also squeezes in some Squeeze, and The Clash.

VAN HALEN:  Insiders close to the situation say a reunion tour is still in the works and will happen, though when is anybody's guess.

DAVID VANDERVELDE is the current Lounge Act at WOXY,  You can stream it via MKOB.

APPLES IN STEREO leader Robert Schneider talks to the Chicago Sun-Times about putting the Elephant 6 gang back together during the recording of New Magnetic Wonder.  You can stream three tracks off the album via TheirSpace.

OSCAR REDUX:  The video of Will Ferrell, Jack Black and John C. Reilly musically lamenting Oscar's disrespect of comedy is a good excuse to re-link Joe Queenan's piece on the Oscars, the Grammys, Ferrell and Black, which is well worth your time... there's even a Richard Thompson reference!

NAOMI WATTS pregnancy accidentally confirmed by her rep's statement about her Oscars dress.

HUGH HEFNER may marry Playmate Holly Madison.

MICHAEL GAMBON:  Dumbledore is going to be a dad -- with a woman who is not his wife.  He is still married to his wife of 45 years, Anne, although they are separated.

ANNA NICOLE SMITH IS STILL DEAD, but her baby-daddy wannabes -- Larry Birkhead and Howard K. Stern -- are in settlement negotiations.

WHITNEY-BOBBY BREAK-UPDATE:  Bobby Brown was arrested on Sunday and jailed in Massachusetts for failure to appear in court and pay child support fines.

BRITNEY SPEARS:  This time its annulled husband Jason Alexander bringing the tales of cocaine, ecstacy and bisexual orgies.  London's Sun claims that the pop tart ordered a wing at her luxury rehab clinic to be cleared to avoid mixing with other patients.  But the paparazzi at X17 claim that she's attending classes all day and making friends.  Daniel Baldwin -- of all people -- says the pop tart is "doing great" in rehab.

TOM-KAT UPDATE:  Holmes tells People magazine she loves mothering the Tom-Kitten: "She's a beautiful little girl, and I feel so honored to be her mom, really."  And hubby Cruise "is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."

24:  Entertainment Weekly spends 24 hours behind the scenes of the hit counter-terrorism thriller.  The Wiggles have a cameo, but Jack Bauer does not torture them.  Indeed, Kiefer Sutherland has accepted an invitation from the US military to teach army cadets it is wrong to torture prisoners.

PETRA NEMCOVA and JAMES BLUNT ran over the leg of an autograph seeker on Friday night in L.A., according to witnesses.  That's not beautiful... unless you're a trial lawyer.

JAMES CAMERON claims in a new documentary that ten ancient ossuaries -- small caskets used to store bones -- discovered in a suburb of Jerusalem in 1980 may have contained the bones of Jesus and his family.  Archeologists and clergy were already deriding this claim 11 years ago.

AMERICAN IDOL semifinalist Antonella Barba has her best friend claiming that the tamer scandalous photos of Barba floating 'round the internet are of Barba, but that the really NSFW photos are not.

THREE FRENCH NATIONALS, some of them Muslims, were shot dead in Saudi Arabia on Monday in what appeared to be a militant attack, the Interior Ministry said.  If only France had not invaded Iraq.  Oh, wait...

IRAQ:  An Iraqi newspaper reports that Muqtada al-Sadr made a statement from "an unknown location," criticizing the new security plan, which is contrary to his initial position.  That may reflect al-Sadr's current difficult position between his popular Shiite base, renegade factions of his own militia, Iran and the US.  The Iraqi cabinet approved the draft law for countrywide distribution of oil revenues and foreign investment in the immense oil industry, which sends it to the parliament.  Though the WaPo focuses on difficulty in identifying the enemy in Baghdad, the story confirms the 70 percent drop in violent deaths under the new security plan so far.  Fifteen al-Qaeda, incuding an emir, were catpured in raids in Baghdad, Ramadi, Mahmudiyah and Samarra.  The US military is preparing for a spring offensive against Sunni insurgents and al-Qaeda in Ramadi.  The Iraqi Army arrested 6 insurgents near Baqubah. A large cache of Iranian EFPs also was found near Baquba.

IRAN seems to be uniting Europe behind the US ballistic missile defense program.  Tehran's own claim of a space rocket launch is greatly exaggerated.  The mullocracy is building up Hezbollah for another round with Israel.  The NYPD is concerned that Iranian agents may already have targeted the Big Apple for terror attacks, though this seems to ge a generalized concern not based on a specific threat.  The Iranian judiciary plans to clamp down on women it deems are "inappropriately dressed."  And from the irony dept:  Iranian MPs have demanded an apology from Pres. Ahmadinejad after teachers were given government-sponsored tests deemed "insulting" to the prophet Mohammed.

TWINKIE loves the banjo, but who would have guessed this photo was taken in the UK?

A SNAKE works as an auto-security system in India.

WHEN SQUIRRELS ATTACK:  Let them have your snack chips.  After all, you know "they'll make more," but the rodent does not know that.

PRAIRIE DOG CREDITS:  I'm not sure what they are, but they can't be good for the dogs.

PUPPY THIEVES are in organized gangs Down Under; a 31-year-old who tried to thwart a pup heist is hospitalized in serious condition after being stabbed and pelted with puppies.