THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE:

...with XTC!  Inspired by the career overview in Being There magazine, I checked the Tube to find tons 'o' tracks like"Statue of Liberty," "This is Pop" and "Neon Shuffle" from White Music; "Are You Receiving Me?" from Go 2;  "Making Plans for Nigel" and "Life Begins at the Hop," from Drums & Wires; "Respectable Street," "Generals & Majors" and "Sgt. Rock" from Black Sea;  "Senses Working Overtime," "Ball and Chain," "No Thugs in Our House" and "All of a Sudden" from English Settlement; "Love on a Farmboy's Wages," "In Loving Memory of a Name" and "Funk Pop A Roll" from Mummer; "All You Pretty Girls" from The Big Express; "Dear God" from Skylarking; "The Mayor of Simpleton" and "King for a Day" from Oranges & Lemons; "The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead," "The Disappointed" and "Books Are Burning" from Nonsvch.

FEIST has "making of" clips for the videos of "My Moon, My Man" and the dancetastic "1 2 3 4" posted (appropriately enough) in the "videos" section of her website.

THE 15 BEST SONGS about dancing with yourself, with plenty of embedded video, courtesy of Cracked magazine.

THE SMITHS:  London's Observer looks at the influence of the band 25 years after Steven Patrick Morrissey met Johnny Maher.

CAJUN DANCE PARTY isn't Cajun music, but these British teens have been tagged as a "band to watch" by Stereogum for their new single, "The Next Untouchable."  OTOH, Neu! prefers "Amylase Disco," which for some reason is not among the tracks streaming from TheirSpace.

PHIL SPECTOR:  The prosecution in the former hit producer's murder trial of moved into high gear Thursday, presenting two witnesses who recounted the music producer's actions on the night that ended in the death of actress Lana Clarkson.

WE HAD JOY, WE HAD FUN... until Terry Jacks came along, anyway.

WILCO:  The Pitch (of Kansas City) runs dueling reviews of Sky Blue Sky, which you can still stream in full over the weekend via Spinner.

THE 25 MOST EXQUISITELY SAD SONGS in the Whole World, with plenty of streaming audio... and debate by the commenters at Spinner.  Indeed, the site felt compelled to follow up with the Readers' Top 15 Write-Ins, again with streaming audio. 

THE AVETT BROTHERS is Paste magazine's Band of the Week; the mag says other reviewers have called the band's music everything from "post-Civil War modern rock" to "grungegrass."  But if you want to know what that means, you can stream a few tracks, including one from the band's album due next week.

PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES reveal their most recent music purchases.

THE CUTOUT BIN:  This Friday's fortuitous finds from the ol' HM are: 13th Floor Elevators - You're Gonna Miss Me; ? & The Mysterians - 96 Tears; The Merton Parkas - Band of Gold; Guided By Voices - It's Like Soul, Man; I'm From Barcelona - We're From Barcelona; They Might Be Giants - Why Does the Sun Shine (Live); Devo - Come Back Jonee; ELO - Dont Bring Me Down; Journey - Anyway You Want It; Glen Campbell - Wichita Lineman; Isley Brothers - Hello It's Me; The Band - The Weight; Peter Holsapple & Chris Stamey - The Child In You; Matthew Sweet - Girlfriend; Led Zeppelin - Black Dog; Sleater-Kinney - You're No Rock 'n Roll Fun; The Who - Bargain (Live 1971); The Replacements - Answering Machine; and the hidden track.

JOHNNY DEPP didn't mention those wedding rumors, but what he told the UK's Mirror about his daughter's bout with the E. coli bug won't dampen them, either: "It was a reminder to us of how lucky we are to be able to breathe, walk, talk, think and surround ourselves with people we love."

NOW SHOWING:  This weekend's wide releases are: the Lindsay Lohan-Jane Fonda drama Georgia Rule, currently scoring 21 percent on the ol' Tomatometer; the "infected" zombie sequel 28 Weeks Later, currently scoring 71 percent; Larry the Cable Guy's Delta Farce, which shockingly was unscreened for critics; and Zach Braff and Amanda Peet in The Ex, which is scoring 20 percent (and only 8 percent among the "cream of the crop" critics).  So the real question will be how much Spidey 3 makes this weekend.

BRITNEY SPEARS has been wearing wigs in public - but one of her backup dancers says the pop tart's buzz cut looks great.  Though saying that may be a tactful way to deflect Spears's initation for the dancers to cut their hair.

OVEREXPOSED:  Spears, the French Hotel, and Fed-Ex top a list of the most overexposed celebrities.  Which suggests going around in public without panties is the definition of overexposed.  Forbes has a slideshow of the winners/losers.

DAVID HASSELHOFF:  A former nanny could be the smoking gun in The Hoffs's custody battle for his kids after his attorneys persuaded her to come forward with tales about his ex-wife's drug use.

BRADGELINA:  Though Jolie has been complaining about the paparazzi again, she goes on a charm offensive with Reader's Digest, opening up about her relationship with Pitt why she decided to adopt a fourth child, and more.  Embedded audio at the link.  And there are more excerpts at the Celebrity Baby Blog.

JENNIFER LOPEZ has reportedly beefed up security in response to ugly threats on her life from an animal-rights extremist.

LINDSAY LOHAN was showing off the new man on her arm -- British TV personality Calum Best -- at NYC hot spot Tenjune Wednesday night.

CAMERON DIAZ calls her last couple of years "hell" and "so hard," not to mention the prejudice against pretty actresses.  And you thought you had it tough?  Ha!  Try being a wealthy model-turned-actress and dating Justin Timberlake.  It's enough to drive you to watch two topless beauties "rub slime on each other" at a racy NYC sex show.

TAMMY FAYE MESSNER seems to be knockin' on Heaven's Door.

JANE FONDA was all over Stephen on The Colbert Report.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON and JESSICA BIEL are both interested in Ryan Reynolds?  It's good to be Ryan Reynolds!  BONUS:  Someone needs to help Scar-Jo with her recent fashion choices.

MICHAEL MOORE is under investigation by the US Treasury Department for taking ailing Sept. 11 rescue workers to Cuba for a segment in his upcoming health-care movie Sicko, according to the AP.  As Moore undoubtedly wants to tout that fab Cuban heathcare system, I'm guessing he did not take them to the cockroach-infested Julio Trigo Hospital in Arroyo Naranjo, near Havana.  Or any of the hospitals on this list.  And he probably won't mention the way the Castro regime suppressed the existence of a raging epidemic of dengue fever in the spring and summer of 1997.

GLOBAL WARMING has a powerful new foe -- News Corp. mogul Rupert Murdoch.  No, really.

HAMAS MOUSE UPDATE:  A Hamas-run television channel has defied a Palestinian government request to axe a controversial children's cartoon in which a Mickey Mouse look-alike preaches Islamic dominion and "armed resistance" to children.  Here's the sample video, icymi yesterday.

IRAN has constructed a new clandestine network for acquiring nuclear technology that may be larger than the nuclear-parts trafficking network run by A.Q. Khan, creator of Pakistan's atomic bomb, according to a new report by the International Institute for Strategic Studies, a respected London-based think tank.  Amir Taheri catalogs the economic issues that spell trouble for Mr. Ahmadinejad's struggling presidency.  That article starts with a reference to Ahmadinejad's Islamic Moral Brigades clashing with groups of young Iranians on the streets of Tehran and other major cities over the government's crackdown on "immodest dress," which you can see on video, along with a clip of a woman fighting back.

IRAQ:  A majority of Iraqi lawmakers endorsed a bill calling for a timetable for the withdrawal of foreign troops and demanding a freeze on the number of foreign troops already in the country, though that majority may not hold up, with Kurdish lawmaker Mahmoud Othman claiming deception.  The parliament's planned vacation and general disarray suggest that it may have as much trouble passing a timetable as it does anything else.  The uproar at the last link was precipitated by the security situation in Diyala; the good news there is that Arab tribesmen in Baqubah have said they will form a tribal alliance to cleanse Diyala of foreign fighters and those of the al-Qaeda terrorist network in Iraq.

WHEN LIZARDS ATTACK:  Why we love live local TV news... and the Tube.

GRIZZLY BEAR and MOOSE fight to the death in an Alaskan driveway.  Pic and a link for Tube video at the link.

POPPY the ST. BERNARD had a litter of 13 healthy puppies; awww...some pic at the link.  I'm very "circle of life" today.

...AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT:  The amazing albino hedgehog.

THE SQUIRREL THREAT:  A militant squirrel attacked two mothers and a girl in a first-grade classroom in San Jose, Cali., including the devious running up the pants leg maneuver.

A BUDGIE is believed to have been smuggled into the maximum-security Portlaoise Prison in Ireland by a female visitor who concealed the bird internally in her body.

BEN GIBBARD of Death Cab for Cutie and The Postal Service covers Nirvana's "All Apologies."  The fine folks at Stereogum can hook you up with video of new songs.

ARCTIC MONKEYS frontman Alex Turner talks to the Toronto Star about the heavier sound on the band's sophomore LP, Favourite Worst Nightmare, and says a third album is already partially written.  The lads stopped by The Current the other day, so you can stream a mini-set via MPR on demand.

RUFUS WAINWRIGHT:  His Release the Stars album comes out next Tuesday, but you can stream the whole thing now via VH1.

TELEVISION:  Richard Lloyd says he will make his final appearance with the band June 16th at NYC's Central Park SummerStage.

JACK LOGAN'S homemade debut, Bulk -- comprised of 42 songs, arranged in nine LP-style "sides" on two CDs -- is this week's "Shadow Classic" at NPR.  And rightly so. Though I wish you could stream "New Used Car and a Plate of Bar-B-Que," it turns out you can download samples of every track from Logan's website.

CHART FLASHBACK:  Entertainment Weekly counts down Billboard's Top 10 for the week ending May 8, 1982.  It's the good, the bad, and the ugly, including "We Got the Beat" from the Go-Go's and Tommy Tutone's "867-5309( Jenny)," though EW's Whitney Pastorek puts in a good word for the Blink-182 cover.  Gotta say the live Go-Go's clip rawks, too.

CAT POWER:  Chan Marshall tells Paper magazine (among other things) about kissing Jude Law and how the movie V for Vendetta indirectly made her a face of Chanel.

COVERS:  My Old Kentucky Blog is streaming well over a dozen versions of the Beatles classic, "Come Together" as well as Bob Dylan's "All Along the Watchtower."  This combo seems to have caused hosting problems for Dodge; if you ahve problems at MKOB you can always jukebox the lot via the ol' HM.

ON THE PITCHFORK:  Stephen King likes the upcoming Ryan Adams album; Okkervil River's new album, Stage Names, is due August 7th; and The Go! Team has a new album due September 10th, though without a US label (how can that be?)

THE GRATEFUL DEAD:  The estate of Lawrence "Ram Rod" Shurtliff, the band's road manager, who died of lung cancer last year at 61, auctioned 115 lots of Jerry Garcia's treasure and junk for over a million bucks.

THE FRENCH HOTEL, who had retained famed criminal defense lawyer Howard Weitzman has hired famed DUI defense lawyer Richard Hutton, who is the likely author of her latest spin about not wanting to be treated worse because she's a celeb.  But here's piece of free legal advice -- stop driving your car after being handed a jail sentence for violating a driving ban.  IDLY has started a "No Clemency" petition to CA Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger.  Gossip bloggers tell the Canadian Press that the celebutante may be more despised than O.J. Simpson.  I would not go that far in terms of intensity, but she probably does have fewer supporters.

BRITNEY SPEARS reportedly plans to boost her ailing career by performing with the late Marilyn Monroe on previously unreleased Marilyn song called "Down Boy" -- the rights to which were secured by former *NSYNC-er Lance Bass.  No, not that Lance.  Meanwhile, Fed-Ex is not impressed with the pop tart's new bf, musician Howie Day.

ROSIE O'DONNELL wants to host The Price is Right, but no one has offered it to her; sources say retiring host Bob Barker "is adamant that Rosie not get the gig."

NATALIE PORTMAN is touring around Silicon Valley in search of funding for a continuous video feed of her work and personal life.

JOHNNY DEPP seems set to finally wed longtime galpal Vanessa Paradis this summer; their daughter Lily-Rose's recent illness has "spurred them into action," a source tells the Daily Mail.

LINDSAY LOHAN'S love-hate relationship with the paparazzi must be on "hate" at the moment, if the June issue of Radar magazine is any indicator.  Lohan's mother, otoh, has almost joined the paps, as she landed a gig interviewing celebrities on the red carpet of Georgia Rules for Entertainment Tonight.  Li-Lo's lawyers are demanding that England's News of the World produce a videotape they claim shows her snorting cocaine.

PENELOPE CRUZ and JOSH HARTNETT, back from a tryst in Turks and Caicos, have been spotted with Lenny Kravitz and Helena Christensen, respectively.

ROBERT RODRIGUEZ is following Grindhouse with a return to the family market; the director is in talks to direct movie versions of The Jetsons and Land of the Lost.

CATE BLANCHETT, thankfully, seems to have been the victim of bad photography, not the Skeletor diet.

TIM ROTH and LIV TYLER have joined Ed Norton and his hair in the cast of the next Hulk movie.

TOM SIZEMORE, still on probation for a drug conviction, was arrested again after police found what seemed like methamphetamine in his car.

MICKEY MOUSE was used by Hamas militants to broadcast their message of Islamic dominion and "armed resistance" to children.  Here's a sample video.  However, publicity -- including Walt Disney's only surviving child calling Hamas "pure evil" for mocking Mickey -- has caused the Palestinian information minister to pull the program from Al Aqsa TV for "review."  BTW, this sort of brainwashing is nothing new for Palestinian Authority TV.

TERROR in the UK:  Four people have been arrested in connection with the 7/7 suicide bomb attacks on London, according to Scotland Yard.

IRAN:  The head of the parliament's Energy Commission wants to delay rationing gasoline until September, as the technology to enforce the rationing is not ready.

IRAQ:  The local papers are carrying reports on the Sadrist Current's plans to break from the governing Shia bloc, distance itself from sectarian killings, and  "cleanse" the ranks of the movement from members who committed criminal acts, who have double loyalties, or who do not commit to the political agenda of the central leadership.  Grain of salt, at least about clenaingup their act.  The Sunni bloc led by Iraq's VP is also threatening to bolt unless the gov't makes swift progress on barring partition of the country and cracking down on the Shia militias.  Coalition Forces detained 13 suspected terrorists Monday and Tuesday during raids around Iraq targeting al-Qaeda, foreign fighter facilitators and a chemical vehicle-borne improvised explosive device network.  Iraq security forces captured 86 suspected insurgents during raids inside Baghdad.  Another 15 AQ operatives were captured during separate raids in Balad, Hillah, Fallujah and near Taji.  Iraqi soldiers captured 4 insurgents near Mosul who had placed over 300 pounds of explosives under an oil pipeline to Turkey.  Eli Lake of the NY Sun sits in on an Iraqi interrogation.

CHIMPS are being injected with a form of the protein called neuropsin, which plays a role in learning and memory, and is expressed only in the central nervous system of humans.  This will not end well.

GIRAFFES don't invade your home, so don't invade theirs.

ARCTIC SEAL UPDATE:  The bearded seal that made its way to Florida's Intercoastal Waterway has passed away at SeaWorld.

A BLACK BEAR triggers a school lockdown near New Haven, CT.  The staff at West Woods School on West Todd Street in Hamden saw the bear in a yard across the street, being chased by two golden retrievers.

A LIVE TOAD in your bag of salad?  Well, maybe if you're lucky.  Pic at the link.

LITTLE BARRIE put a British pop spin on American blues forms, not unlike an update of some British Invasion bands.  My picks to click would be "Love You" and the older, Stax-influenced "Free Salute," but they have a few more streaming at TheirSpace, and even more are on the ol' HM at the moment.

WILCO:  Pitchfork interviews frontman Jeff Tweedy about (among other things) the collaborative nature of Sky Blue Sky, which is due next week, but is streaming from Spinner this week.  ALSO:  The band will be playing on a Prairie Home Companion this weekend.

NICK CAVE talks with The Japan Times about the "impotent rage" behind his latest group Grinderman, his fetish for violence and how Kylie Minogue killed his career in the land of the rising sun.

FEIST has a live broadband session streaming via AOL Canada.  (Thanks, Chromewaves.)

COCOROSIE have been arrested, resultting in the cancellation of the rest of their North American tour.

KEREN ANN talks to Time magazine about her songs and building an international fanbase: "It's great doing it the old-fashioned way... Touring and touring and touring."  You can stream her languid pop via HerSpace.

FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE will be touring with the reunited Squeeze and Crowded House this summer after getting chummy with Glenn Tilbrook, according to Spinner, which also has more on Crowded House.  The Fountains have been posting their old videos on the Tube, including their oh-so-new-wavey clip for "Denise."

RYAN ADAMS has settled on the track listing for his ninth studio album, Easy Tiger, due June 26 via Lost Highway.

THE PONYS:  The Chicago quartet visited The Current for a chat and mini-set you can stream from MPR on demand. 

NEIL YOUNG and RICK JAMES were in the same band in the mid-'60s -- Spinner has the backstory.

THE PHIL SPECTOR TRIAL:  There was no testimony Tuesday, but on Monday, former assistant Dianne Ogden testified that the producer put a weapon to her head and forced her to stay when she tried to leave his home after a 1989 party.  Spector's colorful defense attny, Bruce Cutler, must be over his health issues, as he was in full dramatic form, earning a reprimand from the judge on cross-examination.

THE FRENCH HOTEL is urging her fans to join her in a desperate plea to California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger to keep her out of jail.  I can think of few things more likely to boost the Governator's popularity than denying the celebutante a pardon.  The heirhead has reunited with PR flack Elliot Mintz and spent Monday night at attorney Robert Shapiro's "Sober Day USA" event on the Paramount Studios lot in L.A.

GEORGE MICHAEL pleaded guilty to a charge of driving while unfit through drugs, admitting he was in the unusual situation of being ashamed of something he had done.`  I guess he was proud of trying to pick up that undercover cop in the rest stop bathroom.

PRINCE will play 21 concerts in London this autumn and plans to take time off music to study the Bible.  A PR company helping to publicize the tour said Prince would be performing his greatest hits "for the very last time," but the artist did not confirm the claim.  Indeed, Prince said he planned to change his show every night, including a possible cameo from Amy Winehouse.

AMY WINEHOUSE, btw, is rumored to be in the running as a "Bond" girl, as 007 producer Barbara Broccoli is a fan of the singer.

PAULA ABDUL hired a "personal life coach" to get her through the downward spiral that began when she lost a multimillion-dollar deal for her own fragrance and cosmetics line by taking a personal call on her cell phone during a meeting with the company's chief execs, according to the National Enquirer.

SPIDER-MAN 4:  Sony Pictures chief executive Michael Lynton tells the BBC: "Everybody has every intention of making a fourth, a fifth and a sixth and on and on" and that there would be "as many as we can make good stories for."  But there's the rub.  Kirsten Dunst doesn't want to strap on the padded bra without director Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire.  For his part, Maguire has said it depends on if there's a story worth telling.  Sony is reportedly interested in a fourth flick with The Lizard and Carnage as villains, with or without Raimi.

LINDSAY LOHAN has been forced to assure friends and family that photographs allegedly showing her snorting cocaine in a nightclub toilet are fake.

JESSICA SIMPSON tells Extra that she is naturally brunette: "People don't know that about me... I was really blond as a kid, but then I just started getting darker and darker."  You would think that some, maybe a lot, of people would know that about her... or maybe only her waxer knew for sure.  TMZ has video from the same appearance of Jessica grinding with Eva Longoria.

MELANIE GRIFFITH, with skin tauter than ever, seems to have paid a visit to the trout pout shop.

CATE BLANCHETT, sadly, appears to be the latest actress on the Skeletor Diet.

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY talks to London's Observer about Pirates, her post-Pirates career, and perfume, but tries hard not to talk about her weight or love life.

TERROR in the US:  You probably already know that six foreign-born Muslims were arrested and accused Tuesday of plotting to attack Fort Dix and slaughter scores of US soldiers.  The Council on American- Islamic Relations (CAIR) today applauded the bust, but requested that media outlets and public officials refrain from linking this case to the faith of Islam.  Defendant Eljvir Duka was reportedly recorded as saying: ``In the end... when someone ... attacks your religion, your way of life, then you go jihad.''  Defendant, Serdar Tatar allegedly said, "I'm doing it in the name of Allah.''  And the group was busted after they asked a store clerk to copy a video of them firing assault weapons and screaming about jihad.  So it is fair to say that these defendants linked their actions to Islam.  CAIR's attempt to squash any discussion of the topic tends only to remind one of how many CAIR officials have themselves been charged with (and some convicted of) offenses related to the support of Islamic terrorism.

IRAN:  The head of state-run television has said all homegrown drama programs should feature scenes showing characters praying or they will be denied airtime.

IRAQ:  the Pentagon announced the deployment of 35K troops as replacements for others currently operating in Iraq, not any addition to the "surge."  Members of the Iraqi Parliament are miffed that Pres. Bush and assorted Congressfolk are suggesting it's a bad time for them to take a two-month vaction.  The US is letting members of Moqtada al-Sadr's Mahdi Army continue to guard the most revered Shiite shrine in Baghdad, to avoid diverting resources from other parts of the city where security is worse.  Al-Hayat reports that anti-al Qaeda Sunni groups have finally announced their public opposition to AQ and its "Islamic State of Iraq" front group.  Tribal leaders from the Anbar Salvation Council - having successfully driven out most al-Qaeda elements from Anbar province - are attempting to assume a larger political role over their areas and their interests are colliding with those of the US-appointed governor, who is seen as a dictator.  The L.A. Times reports on improved conditions in Ramadi, where the number of uniformed Iraqi police officers and provincial troops on Ramadi's streets has multiplied to 6,700 from only 200 last July.  Michael Yon files another gritty dispatch with British forces in Basra.

THREE DOGS and a CAT were inducted into the Purina Hall of Fame for feats of bravery and determination that saved lives.

ALEX the GOLDEN RETRIEVER has lawyered up in a custody dispute after his millionaire owner died without a will.

A DRAGON is on the loose in West Palm Beach, Florida.

THE SQUIRREL THREAT:  A squirrel scratched one child, bit another, and chased the police in Mechanicsburg, PA, before succumbing to the application of deadly force.  The cops took it to the state Department of Agriculture laboratory in Harrisburg for rabies testing, but they may want to check for plague, just to be on the safe side.

CRAFTY OCTOPUS UPDATE:  We now have a picture of the octopus at the National Aquarium of New Zealand, which is able to screw open bottles filled with her favourite crab meat as well as play with her handlers.  Octi's keeper, Libor Mach, said: "She's quite happy to be here because she can actually take the lid off her tank and climb out if she wants."

THE NATIONAL has a video for "Mistaken for Strangers" from their upcoming album, The Boxer, posted at MTV.

NEW RELEASES:  Wilco (a week early), Lavender Diamond, Maximo Park, Page France and more are all streaming in full this week via Spinner, while Fields is treaming in full via AOL.  Bjork is the probably the week's big release, though.  Keren Ann is worth a listen.  The Clientele releases God Save the Clientele, which is a nice Kinks allusion.  Elliott Smith gets another posthumous release.  I haven't heard much from Electralane, but the Arcade Fire has picked them as an opening act.  I have to tip Sea Wolf just because the band's pgae lists as influences every band they or you can think of with "wolf" in the name.  And Great Lake Swimmers is a band I have overlooked but are liked by musicbloggers whose taste I trust.

SON VOLT mastermind Jay Farrar talks to the Houston Chronicle about his writing process, getting older and the death of Uncle Tupelo.

SONIC YOUTH siren Kim Gordon half-jokes with Drowned in Sound that the band is performing Daydream nation in its entirety for the money, but ends up saying, "That's the only quote you're going to use, isn't it? About the money..."  Kim Gordon knows the press.

MODEST MOUSE played Philadelphia's Electric Factory last Thursday; you can stream the whole gig via NPR on demand.

TWOFER TUESDAY:  They say it's your "Birthday" -- happy birthday to ya!  Plus the ungrammatical, but semi-related "Live and Let Die."

NEW ORDER has split up, perhaps for good, according to bassist Peter Hook.

THE NOISETTES are interviewed in PopMatters.  You can stream their mix of punk, blues, and garage rock from Studio $B via NPR.

PETER TORK claims Rolling Stone publisher Jann Wenner is keeping the Monkees out of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

NICK DRAKE:  Stereogum has posted a track from the upcoming set of unreleased rarities titled "Black Mountain Blues," which you can also stream from the 'Gum Mix at the link.  Hate Something Beautiful has posted another unrealeased track, "They're Leaving Me Behind," streamable via the ol' HM.

PETE DOHERTY-KATE MOSS UPDATE:  The troubled singer was arrested yet again over the weekend on suspicion of possessing a class A drug.  The supposedly sober supermodel was reportedly already furious with fiancé Doherty after he failed to attend a rehab appointment earlier this week -- opting instead to go to the pub.

THE FRENCH HOTEL:  The Hiltons were reportedly stunned that America's premiere celebutard got sentenced to 45 days in the county jail.  The heirhead reportedly broke down in tears during a posh lunch with her mom at a Beverly Hills eatery the next day.  Longtime PR flack Elliot Mintz has ditched her.  She tells Harper's Bazaar that the cops pull her over all the time to hit on her.  She is appealing the sentence, natch.

DEBORAH GIBSON has urged today's young party girls to clean up their acts -- or risk looking and feeling terrible when they hit her age.

NATALIE PORTMAN, out promoting the Foundation for International Community Assistance, which provides micro loans to the poor, says the only thing she has in common with Britney Spears is that she also shaved her head -- for the 2006 film V for Vendetta.

DAVID HASSELHOFF:  A Los Angeles County Superior Court judge has suspended the Hoff's rights to visit his children in the wake of the videotape showing the actor drunk on his living room floor.

TOM-KAT UPDATE:  Cruise has plunked down 35 million for a Beverly Hills home for himself, Holmes and the Tom-Kitten.  The new address reportedly was not even on the market, so Cruise must have made an offer the owner couldn't refuse.

BRADGELINA:  Jolie has threatened to pull out of filming on her latest movie in the Czech capital Prague after being hounded by paparazzi.

BRITTANY MURPHY, who called off an an engagement to another man just over eight months ago, has secretly wed screenwriter Simon Monjack.

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY and SIENNA MILLER:  The Daily Mail has pics of the pair shooting The Best Time of Our Lives, which will feature them in a lesbian love scene... but I cannot help noting that Miller is standing upwind of Knightley.

GISELE BUNDCHEN is reportedly counting down the seconds until her contract with Victoria's Secret runs out so she can cash in on a new deal with H&M.

GWYNETH PALTROW and Coldplay frontman Chris Martin have sold their townhouse in New York's trendy TriBeCa area because they want to be in London full-time for their children's education.

THE MTV MOVIE AWARDS nominees are announced, with voting online.

THE DALAI LAMA was in Chicago over the weekend, where he said he hasn't attained enlightenment yet... which tends to make me think he owes me a tip for that caddying gig years ago.

FANTASTIC FOUR: Rise Of The Silver Surfer has a new trailer online (and before Spidey 3).  I must say I am quite worried that they have messed this up worse than the first one.

IT'S THE END of the WORLD AS WE KNOW IT:  Paul Watson, founder and president of the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society and famous for militant intervention to stop whalers, now warns mankind is "acting like a virus" harmin the Earth and that "curing the biosphere of the human virus will also require a radical and invasive approach."  Personally, think Agent Smith was more eloquent on this point, though just as wrong-headed.  Watson calls for a radical reduction of the human population by about 5 billion; the Optimum Population Trust says childbirth must be reduced to slow global warming.  This neo-Malthusian doom-saying ignores that the rate of world population growth has fallen by more than 40 percent since the late 1960s and that forecasts show that, even in the absence of major wars or pandemics, the human population may fall during our children's lifetimes.  So there's not much need for the fiery ritual of Carousel.

ISLAMISM in the UK:  Though I noted last Friday that MI-5 is concerned about 2000 terrorism suspects and their supporters, former Metropolitan Police Commissioner Lord Stevens says the real number is about 4000.

FRANCE: Official figures released on Monday said demonstrators set fire to 730 cars and injured 78 policemen across France, with 592 people arrested in the violent protests against conservative Nicolas Sarkozy's victory in Sunday's presidential election.  The tally was revised sharply upwards after an initial report downplayed the clashes and was at odds with local police figures and eyewitness reports.  But you could have seen this election miles away:  The French dislike themselves even more than the Americans do, according to a recent opinion poll.

TURKEY:  The ruling Islamic party's choice for president, Foreign Minister Abdullah Gul, withdrew his candidacy Sunday after parliament again failed to reach a quorum, setting the stage for what many here view as decisive parliamentary elections in July, as Gul is expected eventually to stand again.  The Islamic party pushed Monday for a constitutional amendment that allows the president to be elected in a popular vote rather than in a parliamentary poll.  Which is the sort of reaction to losing that worried the secular population of Turkey in the first place.

IRAQ at HOME:  Congress will tussle with the White House and Pentagon over the clarity of any benchmarks inserted into a defense funding law.  Badger 6, stationed in Anbar, notes the media's benchmarks are biased toward failure.  In the Washington Examiner, Tom Elliot wonders whether the media will again fail to ask tough questions about Iraq, specifically about deadlines and timetables.

ZOO TUBE:  Hundreds of amateur mini-movies shot at Chicago's Brookfield and Lincoln Park zoos as well as at the Shedd Aquarium are posted at YouTube -- including some involving the more fun parts of the circle of life.  However, the most popular Brookfield flick is a video of a 1996 incident in which a child fell into the ape exhibit and was carried by the gorilla Binti Jua.

A BEARDED SEAL has strayed into Florida's Intracoastal Waterway, hundreds of miles from its Arctic home.  Or is it a Cuban seal using a disguise to immigrate from the nearby island dictatorship?

KILLER WHALES are so pink and cute when they are babies!

TWO RESCUE BIRDS have died after a hole was cut in the fence of their aviary in order to let them free.  Pc Steve Knight, of Dorset Police, said: "These birds are well looked after and are only able to survive because of the care taken of them."

A PAIR of SPIDERS were discovered nesting in a 9-year-old boy's ear, icymi.

A DECLAWED, 8-YEAR-OLD CAT is too scary for Canada's postal system in Winnipeg, Manitoba.

A SMILING LION is not scary enough for a boy visiting a drive-thru safari park in Bedfordshire.

NEIL SEDAKA is backed by the Fountains of Wayne on "Calendar Girl" at Joes Pub in NYC, so you'll have to watch the original Scopitone to see the chicks.

WILCO frontman Jeff Tweedy talks about this summer's festival gigs with SPIN; there's even linked video.

BJORK played NYC's United Palace Saturday night, with African collective Konono No. 1 both opening for and backing her.  You can stream their sets via NPR on demand.

OKKERVIL RIVER frontman Will Scheff talks about a recent knife fight, "literary bands" and more with The Believer.  Welcome to the Working Week has also reprinted Scheff's essay on file-sharing, icymi last year.

JOE JACKSON, an early Pate influence, was a recent "vault" selection at Idolator, so you can stream "It's Different for Girls" and "I'm the Man" via the ol' HM at the moment.

THE REPLACEMENTS: By chance, three interviews turned up last week.  The first is the entirely appropos "Drinking with the Replacements" from ther old Creem magazine. (Thanks LHB and Waved Rumor)  The second is on video from 1984, conducted by DJ Mike Eck of Real George's Back Room. Finally, there's a segment from the Cutting Edge show sponsored by IRS Records; about halfway thorugh, the interviewer finally asks why the band shaved its eyebrows.

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON MUSIC:  Seed magazine has posted a conversation between David Byrne and Daniel Levitin, neuroscientist and author of This is Your Brain on Music. Or, if you prefer, you can watch it on video.

AN AQUARIUM DRUNKARD has posted his latest podcast, which ranges from Link Wray to Captain Beefheart to Dwight Yoakum to Guided by Voices to the Beatles.

THE TOP 50 INDIE ANTHEMS, according to NME, lean in a British direction, as you might imagine.  From this side of the pond, the lack of Replacements, Huskers, Minutemen, etc. is rather glaring.

MONDO DIAO talks to Straight about trying to stay out of the touring rut on tour.  And while they are on tour, you can stream a bunch of tracks via the ol' HM.

THE WEEKEND BOX OFFICE IS SPIDER-MAN 3, which took in an estimated 148 million in its first weekend, surpassing Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest by about $12 million.  Its Friday-Saturday total of $109.8 million would be the third largest opening of all-time, beating Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.  The original Spider-Man took a week to make that much money.  Indeed, Spidey 3 scored the biggest worldwide opening ever with 375 million, upsetting the previous record of $254 mil by Star Wars Episode III. Spider-Man 3 is already the third largest movie of the year behind Wild Hogs and 300.  The per screen average was over 34,000, despite having the widest release ever..  Whether it will have legs in the face of the third Shrek and Pirates movies remains to be seen, but will probably own the next two weeks.

Second place at the cineplex was Disturbia which made 5.7 million on a 36.6% drop.  Everything else in the Top Ten dropped at least 49%.  Fracture and The Invisible earned in the low threee million range.  Rounding out the Top Five, Next dropped 61% to make 2.7 million.  Lucky You debuted in the unlucky sixth slot, making 2.5 million.  Meet the Robinsons was close behind with 2.4 million, while Blades of Glory skated in with 2.3 million.  Hot Fuzz made another 2 million, while Are We Done Yet? clung tenaciously to the bottom of the Top Ten with 1.7 million.  Another way to put this is that Spider-Man 3 made more each day than the rest did all weekend.

THE FRENCH HOTEL arrived ten minutes late to the hearing on her probation violation and was sentenced to 45 days in county jail; the judge's ruling excluded her from paying to serve time in a jail of her choice, as some violators are allowed to do.  TMZ has the rundown on what the heirhead can expect at the Century Regional Detention Facility in beautiful Lynwood,Calif. -- just minutes from nearby Compton!

DAVID HASSELHOFF:  The release of that videotape showing the former Baywatch star intoxicated and incoherent -- shot by his 16-year-old daughter -- has turned the actor into a mean, lean, damage-control machine.

BRITNEY SPEARS is reportedly furious about those topless pictures of her leaking online.  They really aren't much worse than other real photo shoots the pop tart has done, but I'm sure she thinks they set back her image rehab.

LINDSAY LOHAN is spiralling out of control since rehab, according to the uber-reliable News of the World, which has sordid snaps purporting to show Li-Lo on a cocaine binge.

SASHA BARON COHEN, contrary to prior rumors, will not be playing Freddie Mercury in a musical biopic.

PAMELA ANDERSON wants to see movie beauty SCARLETT JOHANSSON disrobe for Playboy, but does not think she would agree to it.  But would it kill Pam to try to convince Scar-Jo?

RICHARD GERE and actress Shilpa Shetty seem to be in better shape, now that the judge who issued obscenity charges against them was reportedly transferred from his post in Jaipur to the small town of Kishangarh several hours away.  High Court Commissioner C. P. Singh said the transfer was "routine" - but noted the order came from a state chief justice.

TOM-KAT UPDATE:  Cruise has his friends out trying to convince People that Holmes is not a prisoner on the crazy train.

BRUCE WILLIS tells Vanity Fair that "it's hard for people to understand," but he goes on family vacations with ex-wife Demi Moore and her new husband Ashton Kutcher.

FRANCE:  Conservative Nicolas Sarkozy won the presidential election on Sunday, defeating Socialist Ségolène Royal by a comfortable margin.  Even women voters were shunning Royal.  Thousands of riot police were deployed in Paris after warnings that victory for Sarkozy could spark violent protests.

IRAN:  South Africa proposed a compromise to prevent global talks on the nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty from collapsing over Iranian objections to the agenda, and Tehran said it would consider the idea.  OTOH, Pres. Ahmadinejad said on Thursday that Iran is entitled to make complete use of all of its nuclear capacity and will never give up its inalienable right.  Iran's foreign minister walked out of a dinner of diplomats where he was seated directly across from Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, on the pretext that the female violinist entertaining the gathering was dressed too revealingly.

IRAQ:  Az-Zaman reported that the two main Shi'a militias - the Badr brigades, affiliated with the Supreme Council for the Islamic Revolution in Iraq (SCIRI), and Moqtada al-Sadr's Mahdi Army - have been engaged in open confrontations in Baghdad, Diwaniya, Najaf and other Iraqi cities.  The newspaper also said that US forces have participated in the battles, on SCIRI's side, by using helicopters to bombard the Sadrist positions.  Iraq's foreign minister has an op-ed in the Washington Post begging the US not to abandon them.

...AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT:  A calf with six legs.  "He's a real freak," said Brian Slocum, who said the calf was born Sunday to one of his cows on acentral Nebraska farm. "I've never seen anything like this before."

RINGLING BROS. and Barnum & Bailey Circus is threatening to bypass P.T. Barnum's home state if Connecticut's legislature passes a bill prohibiting the use of an elephant-herding tool known as a bullhook.

DOGS will be pooping in luxury at the The Austonian, the swank 55-story luxury condo tower that will be going up at Second Street and Congress Avenue in Austin, TX.

A BRITISH WOMAN has applied to become the legal guardian of a chimp to fight for its human rights.

A PUPPY and a DUCK have become fast friends in China.  Let's go to the video.