SXSW XX: The musical part of South By Southwest kicks off today in Austin TX. I won't be there, but thought it would be fun to pretend I was and figure out what my plans might have been (allowing for Plans B and C when a show is full, etc.), then hook you up with the streams and downloads. I think I would start the night at Emo's Annex with the Elephant Six-ish dream pop of Page France, followed by the more eerie sound of The Castanets, Britpop-via-Austin from Voxtrot, indie goodness from The King of France or Swedish singer-songwriter Jose Gonzalez. From there, I could relive my college days by seeing Peter Case at the Soho Lounge, then follow him over to the Plimsouls reunion at Exodus, which would then set up a tumultous 70s-soundtrack-with-cheerleading session from The Go! Team. But if I went to Exodus first, I could catch the World Party reunion. Alternatively, I could check out The M's, but they're from Chicago — or the New Pornographers followed by Belle & Sebastian, but I just saw that show! Singer-songwriter Laura Viers would be a possible for 11 p.m. at Caribbean Lights — or maybe a solo acoustic gig from ex-Meat Puppet Curt Kirkwood — though if I went to Emo's Main Room for Voxtrot, I might stick around for the pyschedelic goth of Serena Maneesh, followed by the (actual) Elephant Six pop of Of Montreal and finish with …Trail of Dead. But I would be tempted to head out for the garage-psych nuggets of Gris Gris instead, then back for Of Montreal, then to Emo's Jr. for the retro stylings of Saturday Looks Good To Me, — an Ann Arbor-based collective that will be even busier later this year — though the shiny, harmony-laden retro-pop of The Capitol Years would be a nice closer at the Soho. Then I would figure out if I could see anyone I missed at one of the day shows and collapse in a heap.
BLONDIE put an ugly band feud onstage at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Now that's rock 'n' roll!
BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH… and the friendly stranger in the black sedan. If you visit pop veteran Jim Peterik's website, you can watch Real Video of the Ides performing “Vehicle.” Bah… Ba da bam ba da…
SEX PISTOLS: Johnny Rotten attacks Green Day again: “They’re sticky tape on a duck’s ar*se…”
THE NEW YORK DOLLS: After a 30 year hiatus, David Johansen and Sylvain Sylvain recently returned to the studio to record their first studio album since 1974's Too Much Too Soon. It's due in June.
SEEN YOUR VIDEO: Arctic Monkeys are playing two big English festivals, but turned down headlining slots, telling organisers they're not ready to headline such massive shows yet. Maybe not, but they're getting there, if the video of their SNL performances of “I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor” and “A Certain Romance” on Prefix are any indication.
SILVER JEWS: David Berman tells Flagpole he only does e-mail interviews “Because every interview I read sucks and this one doesn’t. Face-to-face/ phone interviews just yield small talk and stock answers.”
THE GOSSIP: Lead singer Beth Ditto talks about the band's Southern roots and offers a little too much info about smoking dope and hunting squirrels, but the woman can sing a bit. Check out their bluesy punk at MySpace.
BELLE & SEBASTIAN is playing the Hollywood Bowl backed by the L.A. Philharmonic Orchestra, on July 6th.
ELVIS COSTELLO gets a VH1 tribute concert and the best they could do was Death Cab For Cutie, Fiona Apple and Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong?
LINK WRAY: The Village Voice has a rave from Michael Crumsho for re-issues of Wray's early-1970s output: “All country blues, ragged folk, and raw juke joint r&b, these three reissues can make even the the greatest Americana moves of (mostly) Canadians the Band or Neil Young seem a bit studied and artificial.”
PETE DOHERTY-KATE MOSS UPDATE: If you were to guess which is currently considered to be “the arbiter of cosmopolitan sartorial chic,” you would be wrong. Meanwhile, the supposedly supermodel may be trying to resist the magentism of the troubled singer with the help of a 24 carat gold vibrator.
DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES: Felicity Huffman placed a tearful phone call to hubby William H. Macy when publicity photogs focused on costars Teri Hatcher, Nicollette Sheridan and Eva Longoria — which made Huffman feel like “the oldest and ugliest one here.” Macy reportedly cheered her up with a joke, but she may want to consider that she's the one with the good marriage, kids and Oscar nomination. Compare that to Sheridan getting engaged to Michael Bolton and Hatcher fiinding comfort in Ryan Seacrest and Macy looks even better.
THE SOPRANOS, whiile denting Desperate Housewives, premiered to lower ratings than in prior seasons (digital cable and on-demand programs having arrived during the show's two-year hiatus). But the good news is that HBO is listing the music for each episode, along with links to buy selected tracks.
GREY'S ANATOMY, is also becoming a ratings powerhouse, currently beating even the CSI juggernaut in the coveted 18-49 demographic for the entire season. And in this Internet age, the show's increasingly obsessed fans can register their strong opinions at the writers' blog.
BRITNEY SPEARS: Spenderline has come up with a unique marketing strategy for his apparently horrible rap CD: Buy my album or I'll become a stripper.
TOM-KAT UPDATE: So why did Chastity Bono come out of the closet to her mother Cher at Cruise's apartment? Just wondering. (3rd item.)
PETER TOMARKEN, best known as the host of the Press Your Luck game show, died in a small plane crash. Is it too soon for the obvious “No whammies!” jokes?
JACK BLACK has eloped with girlfriend Tanya Haden, according to People magazine. Tanya Haden, a 34-year-old musician, is a triplet. Her sister Petra recorded that a cappella version of The Who Sell Out and tours with the Decemberists.
CHARLIZE THERON denies breaking up with Stuart Townsend. At least, her publicist denies it.
ROB REINER: Meathead is discovering that while politics is show business for ugly people, it's also ugly business for show people. Reiner was chair of the First 5 California Children and Families Commission, a panel put in place to oversee the expenditure of millions in tax funds earmarked for childhood development, health and education programs. Last month, he stepped down from the commission while an investigation is launched into whether state funds were improperly used to boost a tax initiative he supports.
LINDSAY LOHAN may not like her party girl image, but that's the image you get when you're seen with Matthew McConaughey, George Clooney and Clive Owen in one vening, all the while asking for Colin Farrell.
WALLACE AND GROMIT get no respect, as their insurer valued their loss in a warehouse fire at a mere £6,000.
BRAD BIRD, creator of The Incredibles, will helm Pixar's newest project. Ratatouille will feature a skinny mouse who lives in a fancy Parisian restaurant run by a famous but eccentric chef.
JESSICA SIMPSON: The National Enquirer claims that the pneumatic blonde is so furious over hubby Nick Lachey's alleged womanizing that she's vowed to never speak to him again. But she could increase her popularity if she just vowed never to speak.
SCARLETT JOHANNSON has been named Hollywood's most natural beauty by a new survey of make-up artists. The survey was commissioned by a cable company launching a HDTV service that will allow viewers to see much clearer pictures on their screens. Thus, celebs with problem skin, like Cameron Diaz and Brad Pitt, stand to have their flaws revealed in HD.
NANOTECH: Scientists partially restored the vision in blinded hamsters by plugging gaps in their injured brains with a synthetic substance that allowed brain cells to reconnect with one another, a new study reports. The substance contains nano-sized particles that self-assemble into a fibrous mesh that mimics the body's natural connective tissue when placed in contact with living cells.
SEEING, HEARING AND SMELLING ROBOTS that can carry human beings are being developed in Japan to help care for the country's growing number of elderly. Just wait until they start singing “Daisy.”
IRAQ: At ITM, Omar looks at last-mnute political negotiations and silent deaths in Baghdad. Newsweek has a terrific piece on how Navy Dr. Richard Jadick earned his Bronze Star on the front lines of Fallujah, even if it does begin by quoting Isaiah 6:8 as Isaiah 7:8. And While 60 Minutes ran a generally good piece on Tal Afar last Sunday, the Mayor of Tal Afar tells the New York Post: “I'd like American citizens not to trust everything that is being said in the media because, unfortunately, most of the media is talking about negative things and about the problems. They are not telling good stories about the U.S. Army's good job here in Iraq. I would like American citizens to concentrate on the pictures that show the children of Iraqis and how happy they feel when they see or meet American soldiers.” The New York Times is investigating questions raised by Salon.com about the identity of a man who the NYT claimed in a Page 1 profile was the Abu Ghraib prisoner whose hooded image became an icon of abuse by American captors. The NYT's foreign editor said it attempted to verify the claim thoroughly, though the paper did not contact the Army's Criminal Investigation Command before running it.
RELOCATING BEARS: Some bears are getting tired of being asked whether they go to the bathroom in the woods.
RUSSIAN PIGLETS are being trained for a mid-April competition by personal coaches as a new craze of pig racing spreads across the country. The training includes honing the piglet's skills in running, swimming, and “pig-ball” competitions.
PUPPY THEFT: Caught on Tape!
SIR CHARLES NUGGET: Truck driver John Withers didn't hesitate to drive 1,050 miles when he heard his beloved pet had been found eight months after running away during a delivery.
DOLPHIN DISTRESS CALL is investigated, but turns up a hot dolphin threesome.
SQUIRREL CAUSES FOUR-CAR PILE-UP in Pennsylvania. I blame Geico.