Karl 
DON KNOTTS, best known for his quintuple-Emmy-winning portrayal of Barney Fife on The Andy Griffith Show,died of lung cancer Feb. 24 at age 81. Successive generations would know him from movies like The Apple Dumpling Gang (co-star Tim Conway cited Knotts as his inspiration to get into showbiz), as the post-Ropers landlord Ralph Furley on Three's Company, and the mysterious TV repairmain in Pleasantville. Few know that — like many other Hollywood bigs over the years — Knotts got his start on a soap opera. ALSO: Darren McGavin, who starred in Kolchak: The Night Stalker and played the grouchy dad in the 1983 comedy classic A Christmas Story, died of natural causes at 83.
THE SEX PISTOLS — true to form — are snubbing the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony. The band has posted their scrawl for download at their website. And if you're in the mood, you can watch “God Save The Queen” on YouTube. I really mean it… man.
MP3 BLOGS: The Village Voice confirms what most suspect — PR flacks are often responsible for advance tracks leaking on the Internet. At *Sixeyes, Alan suggests that MP3 blogs are “the hipster's American Idol,” making bands like Arctic Monkeys and Clap Your Hands Say Yeah before they release an album (though CYHSY self-release theirs). Plus, Alan relinks to their music.
CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH: Speaking of which, the band which sold 200K copies of its self-released album gets profiled in London's Independent as their second British tour winds down.
ARCTIC MONKEYS talk to the Sun about their NME Awards hat trick and their next album. The Daily Mirror covers the band's distate for awards shows.
KILLING MUSIC: rbally posts vintage live Wilco. Muzzle of Bees has a set from Ben Harper and the Blind Boys of Alabama at the Apollo Theatre.
THE HOLD STEADY is profiled in the L.A. Times, with frontman Craig Finn revealing how The Last Waltz changed his musical direction.
SEEN YOUR VIDEO: Having posted the Bangles last Monday, I normally wouldn't do so today, but posting their version of “Walk Like An Egyptian” allows me to note that Stereogum is killing music with Henry Mancini's cover.
ROBERT POLLARD: In the Village Voice, David Marchese writes that “From a Compound Eye finds Uncle Bob dancing yet again on the distinction between prolific and profligate.”
RAY DAVIES, PETE SHELLEY and JOHNNY MARR are among those who tell London's Guardian the stories behind classic tracks. Buzzcocks' Pete Shelley: “One night in Edinburgh we were in a guest house TV lounge watching the musical Guys and Dolls. This line leaped out – 'Have you ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have?'”
BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE: Stereogum reports that the band's cover of “Puff the Magic Dragon” was rejected for the kids album noted here the other day. Which presented another opportunity to kill music by offering it for download.
RARE BECK TRACKS will surface on the soundtrack included with the DVD of the 1994 underground classic movie that inspired Beck's “Loser.”
NICK CAVE talks to the Guardian about writing the screenplay for the brutal Australian western, The Proposition: “It was really exciting just to be one cog in the machine. I had no responsibility for the whole thing. It wasn't my film, it was John (Hillcoat)'s film. I still feel like that actually. Although I have to come and do the f—ing interviews.” He also reveals that he would like to write a record like Van Morrison's Astral Weeks, but finds it hard to escape his inherent style.
PETE DOHERTY-KATE MOSS UPDATE: The News Of The World claims that the troubled singer and the supposedly sober supermodel have been meeting secretly at Doherty's local pub. This sort of rumor cannot help Moss land one of the most lucrative contracts of her career with Calvin Klein…
KEIRA KNIGHTLEY was caught canoodling with Rupert Friend, who played the treacherous Mr Wickham in Pride and Prejudice, which — coincidentally enough — comes out tomorrow on DVD.
WEEKEND BOX OFFICE: Tyler Perry's Madea's Family Reunion captured the top spot, but the other two new releases — the animated Doogal and the Paul Walker-led Running Scared — only managed eighth andninth place, respectively. That would be proof that the dogs really are better than Walker in Eight Below, which came in second place, followed by The Pink Panther.
THE OSCARS: So-called experts like Richard Roeper and Tom O'Neil think the major races are more wide open than in past years. Internet bookmakers beg to differ: “This year, the major categories are a 'no contest,'” said Ben Eckstein, president of America's Line, a Las Vegas-based firm with a syndicated odds column that appears in over 125 newspapers across North America. The possible exception — a real battle unfolding in the best supporting actor and actress categories.
SHERYL CROW underwent surgery for “minimally invasive” breast cancer, and her prognosis is excellent. Best wishes to her. Former fiancé and cancer survivor Lance Armstrong sent his, too.
BRADGELINA: The ever-reliable National Enquirer reports that Pitt and doctors are beging Jolie to pack on the pounds during her pregnancy.
BRITNEY SPEARS caught Spenderline in his undies on his baby mama's couch. Her hubby has reportedly been teasing her about driving with their son in her lap. The couple is reportedly in marriage counselling. Also, the pop tart is reportedly undergoing a course of “sound healing” from a yoga guru as she plans her career comeback. During the therapy sessions, which are based on ancient kundalini yoga practices, clients are exposed to sound vibrations as they lie on a special couch. Maybe that's how she figured out she hasn't been singing all these years.
SPIDER-MAN is the new black.
TRAILER REMIX: Spongeback Mountain. What would the American Family Association say?
JESSICA SIMPSON is rumored to be secretly dating her personal trainer. Her creepy manager-dad Joe could not pass up the chance to tell Nick Lachey, “You’ll never get half of everything in the divorce settlement” when the two crossed paths at a restaurant. And the pneumatic blonde is expected to earn a whopping 1,240 dollars-per-word in her next movie, Employee Of The Month, collecting a cool million for saying 806 words. Which is sorta like calculating what Ahnuld was paid for a movie on a per-word basis.
THE SOPRANOS: With the final full season starting March 12 (with a mini-season finale next January), The New York Times sits down with creator David Chase and lead James Gandolfini for “The Last Aria of Tony Soprano.” (Try ID = yesterday80, password = tomorrow or use Bug Me Not.)
BILL CLINTON is looking for interns. About 25 of them: “The Clinton Foundation Intern Program offers a unique opportunity for growth, learning and meaningful service.”
JENNY McCARTHY would love to take part in a sex orgy. Has she considered applyng for an internship?
DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES: The Daily Mail has all of them on the Skeletor diet. The Sun has Eva Longoria piling on the pounds now that she has a boyfriend. Go figure, though Longoria suspected the DW staff of making her clothes tighter.
MISCHA BARTON: The OC hottie's scuzzy rocker beau Cisco Adler is denying the two are engaged, maybe because Page Six has them broken up, with Barton chasing Jake Gyllenhaal. NTTAWWT.
GERMAN CANNIBAL Armin Meiwes wants to make Barry Manilow, Hugh Grant, Robbie Williams And Liam Gallagher his next victims. What some people will say to get out of prison.
DEEYAH: The Norwegian-born star, nicknamed the “Muslim Madonna,” received death threats after her latest video featured her stripping off a burqa to reveal a skimpy bikini. Deeyah notes the video for “What Will It Be?” also features Muslim women who have fought for freedom of expression. Asian music TV network B4U TV dropped the video after receiving threats. The Muslim Council of Britain accuses her of lying about her religion, speculating that she is actually a Hindu. The MCB is not the most radical Islamic group in Britain, though it did boycott last year's commemoration of the liberation of Auschwitz because it did not commemorate the victims of the Palestinian conflict. You can hear the song at MySpace or see the Quicktime video at her website.
CARTOON JIHAD: The Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten, which published the cartoons of Mohammed, has won a Danish critical journalism award for its initiative. RELATED: Prof. Hasan Bolkhari, a member of the Film Council of Islamic Republic of Iran Broadcasting and a cultural advisor to the Iranian Education Ministry, thinks Walt Disney created Tom & Jerry to change the Europeans' perception of Jews. Which would be only slightly less crazy if he knew that Tom & Herry were created by William Hanna and Joseph Barbera and that Disney's cartoons were occasionally seen as anti-Semitic.
IRAN: An advisor to Iran's Revolutionary Guard said that if the US launches an attack on Iran, Iran will retaliate with a military strike on Israel's main nuclear facility. OTOH, Iran continues to play the delay game by claiming a “basic” agreement with Russia on jointly enriching uranium — but with no immediate sign that it would suspend home-grown enrichment.
IRAQ: Bill Roggio rounds up coverage from Iraq to Asia to Australia of the aftermath of the mosque bombing, which has yet to escalate to civil war. Indeed, Shia clerics have ordered militias to protect Sunni shrines, violence on Saturday prompted Sunni Arab political leaders to rejoin talks with Shiites and Kurds. Shiite cleric Moqtada al-Sadr, alleged to have played a role in the anti-Sunni violence over the last few days, publicly made peace with political and religious Sunni leaders, which suggests that he at least fely the need to do PR damage control. If the situation remains relatively stable after the curfew is lifted, the effect of the attack may be to unify Iraqis against foreign intrusion from al Qaeda and (other) Iranian-backed terrorists. ALSO: As I am often critical of the traditional press coverage of the war, it's only fair that I note that Thomas E. Ricks has relatively balanced, sober, in-depth piece in the Washington Post about US efforts to keep terrorists from reaching Baghdad while the local forces get up to speed. BTW, while the latest Pentagon report is that there are no Iraqi batallions capable of fighting on their own, the number of Iraqi battalions capable of leading the battle, with US support, has grown by nearly 50 percent. And the number of battalions engaged in combat has increased by 11 percent.
CHIMPS USE A TOOL KIT: Chimps have been captured on film using “tool kits” to break into a termite mound for lunch. At Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo, chimps will be shown how to use hammers. Then all they will need is the monolith.
MARLEY THE DOG has been on The New York Times bestseller list for 17 weeks.
CROCODILE WRESTLING Granny was honoured with a bravery award saving her friend as a giant croc tried to drag her from a tent. The man-eater broke her nose and almost ripped her arm off before her son Jason shot it.
JOEY THE CAT is the latest in a string of feline fire alarms.
SHOTGUN GOAT MARRIAGE: A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his “wife” after he was caught having sex with the animal.
